Why must cats always decry their station in life

you might be wondering "who goes to see the avatars?" it's me, i go to see the avatars. i love that shit.

This is actually quite brilliant, up to and including the final sentence 🔥

Writers I’m begging you there’s more to gay MLM stories than Emotionally Stable Himbo falls for Cruel Bitchy Gay

*SE2 Will furiously scribbling on endless sheets of paper with a crayon* Will’s Mom: Is that—is that Vecna’s cloaca

Is this cheese grater conscious? Many users feel they're talking to a real person. Scientists say it's time to consider whether they're onto something.

My microwave sings a little song when my Hot Pocket is done. Should it have the right to vote?

John Wick-ass set piece waiting to happen

imagine walking down the beach and seeing jesus carrying some guy

"According to the report, [...]during the 2024-25 television season, queer characters increased across platforms by 4%, bringing the total to 489. However, the Thursday report found that 41% of those characters will not return." www.thewrap.com/glaad-where-...

I haven’t been on my phone as much these days and honestly the current mobile browsing experience is a large reason why. Dogshit vibes

thinking about getting play doh for lunch again

No Man’s Sky and an edible…one of the best duos to ever do it

Dr. Jamal Eltaeb of Sudan has been awarded the Aurora Prize for Awakening Humanity. He says, "Every day we work in the impossible conditions with barely enough to keep people alive." n.pr/4oYRKiA

welcome to Target

Guy desperate for the warm embrace of another human being: “And it was a good hug.”

Eat Prey Love (2010)

Subway Employee Still Unnerved By High-Pitched Screech Sandwiches Make When Cut In Half https://theonion.com/subway-employee-still-unnerved-by-high-pitched-screech-1819576148/

Kids these days are always talking about power wash simulator 2. But you know who was a real power wash simulator, too? Mary Magdalene who power washed the feet of Christ.

people that like this are like if motion smoothing had a personality send tweet

Human babies: waah i was just born this is scary im going to poop on the doctor it's too cold put me back Sea turtle babies:

ME: Hey Stephen King, what’s your book about STEPHEN KING: There’s this extradimensional spore that takes over a small town ME: Oh that could be interesting sure STEPHEN KING: Humans call it Uncle Ding-Dong ME: They…call it— STEPHEN KING: Uncle Ding-Dong ME: Why STEPHEN KING: idk

King George III in early 1776

> It is 2025 BC. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis > It is 2025 AD. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis

I like how the news will be like “while the President claiming Portland was ruled by a giant skeleton named Mr Nibbles is not strictly true, it does speak to the anxiety of many Americans”

My scalding hot take nobody asked for is that the best Batman films are all animated

My boss: so how's our fourth quarter looking? Me, the sales manager at the company that makes inflatable frog suits: well, you're never going to believe this, but

😌😌😌

The following is REAL footage from Portland, 2025. Viewer discretion is advised.

I encourage everyone to read this and refamiliarize yourself with history we as a society don’t talk enough about!!

SCOOP: Last year, Ubisoft cancelled an Assassin's Creed game set during Reconstruction. Was to feature a Black Assassin who, among other things, fought the rise of the Klan Sources: Leadership nixed it over concerns re: U.S. political climate, backlash to Yasuke www.gamefile.news/p/scoop-ubis...

Today is a day when arts degrees are worthless, but the product of those degrees is so valuable it would kill an entire industry if they were made to pay for it.

Currently on marijuana and wondering would happen if you scooped some goo out of Odo’s bucket and threw it at the wall. Is that an arm? A leg? Or will the goo turn into a smaller, angrier, more high-pitched Odo

"We're gonna crash some planes if you don't fund ICE."

In my “what if I got my Master’s” phase of unemployment

Daughter of Robin Williams, Zelda Williams 💔

Dr. Jane Goodall filmed an interview with Netflix in March 2025 that she understood would only be released after her death.

Under my administration we captured 3 gray aliens and 2 green

Excited to introduce Vibes from Meta. Eat your slop, piggies!

This whole section really.

Nick Valencia, who has been doing amazing reporting, just wrote about this: “These Are Abductions.” Newlywed Husband Says Wife Taken During Green Card Interview open.substack.com/pub/nickvale...

RIP Kaleb Horton kalebhorton.ghost.io/2025-so-far/

I do love that James Gunn has spent so much of his time in the DC Universe dunking on white supremacists

The most accurate recreation of DS9 I've seen.

By the time I’m done with them, they won’t have experienced a year of hell. Instead they will have survived seventy years of hell

That Star Trek Voyager game looks so fun. Can’t wait to save Tuvix 😌

the US if Tylenol actually caused autism