Bell

Bort

Bad paranoia, physically exhausted from keeping my anxiety down cause it feels like everyone is inspecting me lol

I can barely be coherent lately lol. Making a sentence is hard, trying to say things often leads me to giving up mid sentence.

Gluh

God my day was like the You are not bunny girl gif, cried twice in the bathroom at work lol. Good thing everyone is sick cause thy just though I was tired

not

Broken element

lol I need to not be Its the swing i cant handle it its So hard to handle the swing, its wearing me down lol. i love it, its real but its painful

Tragedy

Its unbearable that I can have so many people, family, who love and care for me and yet i dont feel like i belong lol. Happy holidays fr though

Joy vampire

Pursuit

yet it still continues without letting go

I wanted to do art in this but I wont

Sometimes I think I should leave, like it would be better for me and for everyone. But I never do.

Nature is one of the things I feel utmost connection too, yet I do nothing to stay in it, maybe i am afraid I'll lose connection to it as the yearning for its presence disappears, and it will become a thing I blankly stare into like a empty canvas

Sorry for anyone who's followed this thinking its gonna be art or anything. It gives me some level of permanence when I complain, cause then I am atleast thinking, and not constantly empty. I used to listen to stuff to drown out my head with thoughts, now I do it to fill my head with anything.

I feel often like I am tricking people with my art, with my introspection, that I am even a person. I feel guilt for waisting peoples time. I bait people with flirting, my art, and seeming deep with questions. I listen to people but I can't actually say anything in return.

I often hate my artwork cause I can see what it isnt. In many causes it feels like the only thing I can share, its the only thing that gives me permanence. But theres nothing deeper to it anymore besides shallow desires now. I only revel on the surface, no deeper.

Sometimes I feel like I have a brain tumour or degenerative brain disorder cause I used to have ideas as a kid. I used to have so many ideas I'd get tired from them, I literally couldn't write them down fast enough. Nowadays my head is empty, I only think about what I lack.

Mental ill rating off the charts lol this downswing is killing me lol

I miss her

Fumble

Crumble

Brains at that point again, but now i dont even have distractions or problems, procrastinations in relation. No excuses for my misery i am in except for the obvious.

Lonely~Wanting to be alone Both Both A flow An ocean

How to stop

Multitudes

Nothing interesting to say