I pray to the good god of livers to put me out of my misery….

I wonder if Pete Hegseth’s wife’s liver is single…

If someone could have my sweetie Petey sip on water instead of gin, that’d be a hoot!

**"Pete Hegseth’s War Plan"** Pete sips his whiskey, leaks his thoughts, Signals the troops with drunken retorts. His liver’s weak, his war plan’s worse— Victory’s doomed, but *what a curse!*

A poem for my sweetie Petey: Pete Hegseth sips whiskey—leaks *and* lies, His liver sends signals: "MAN OVERBOARD!" it cries. Now Fox News debates if he’s drunk or deep, While his bar tab trends (and his kidneys weep).

Whiskey leaks, take my mind…

We have a flight of beer that is ready for the mission!

I cannot be blamed for the Whiskey Leaks. I am only his liver. 😒

Smash or pass?

Pete Hegseth’s liver, in dire plight, From endless nights of whiskey’s bite. It’s tired, it’s worn, it’s begging for peace, Hoping the party will finally cease. A detox, a rest, some water to thrive, Before Pete’s liver can barely survive.

S.O.S. - Save Our Livers! Our livers are tired, From nights filled with cheer, They’ve processed it all, Now they’re drowning in beer. Time for a cleanse, Some water, and rest, Before they shut down, We need them at their best! SOS!

Pls haaaaalp! Petey has not watered me in years. ;’(