Are you feeling a tinge of guilt that a deceased family member or friend is unable to accompany you to our wonderful Museum? Then consider attending our 𝗕𝗬𝗢𝗕 𝗪𝗲𝗲𝗸 (Bring Your Ouija Board)! Our young, healthy staff are on standby to provide perfect vessels for guided tours with those dearly departed!

Are you feeling a tinge of guilt that a deceased family member or friend is unable to accompany you to our wonderful Museum? Then consider attending our 𝗕𝗬𝗢𝗕 𝗪𝗲𝗲𝗸 (Bring Your Ouija Board)! Our young, healthy staff are on standby to provide perfect vessels for guided tours with those dearly departed!

We must unfortunately announce the cancelation of our annual 4th of July event on this year of America's 250th anniversary. When making preparations for our festivities, every exhibit on display had been completely obscured from view by mysterious black rectangles. Apologies for the inconvenience.

We must unfortunately announce the cancelation of our annual 4th of July event on this year of America's 250th anniversary. When making preparations for our festivities, every exhibit on display had been completely obscured from view by mysterious black rectangles. Apologies for the inconvenience.

We'd like to assure our visitors that the green color and glow of the products in our cafeteria were prepared that way for the celebration of St. Patrick's Day! The food and drinks are NOT radioactive like the cafeteria staff will lead you to believe.

We'd like to assure our visitors that the green color and glow of the products in our cafeteria were prepared that way for the celebration of St. Patrick's Day! The food and drinks are NOT radioactive like the cafeteria staff will lead you to believe.

Looking to learn something today? Visit our 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲!! What better way to learn how to treat and cure* an illness than contracting it yourself? *results may vary.

We apologize for our lack of updates as of late. Our previous social media manager had mistakenly fallen into our Bottomless Pit exhibit while making the previous post, and it took us a while to kidnap a new one. We have now installed safety rails around the Bottomless Pit exhibit Rest In Pit, Jim

Looking to learn something today? Visit our 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲!! What better way to learn how to treat and cure* an illness than contracting it yourself? *results may vary.

We apologize for our lack of updates as of late. Our previous social media manager had mistakenly fallen into our Bottomless Pit exhibit while making the previous post, and it took us a while to kidnap a new one. We have now installed safety rails around the Bottomless Pit exhibit Rest In Pit, Jim

The men's restroom is currently out of order due to a localized black hole that has emerged inside. However, if you're feeling brave enough, you can turn this problem into a solution!

The men's restroom is currently out of order due to a localized black hole that has emerged inside. However, if you're feeling brave enough, you can turn this problem into a solution!

If you are to visit our exhibit featuring the genuine disembodied head of Medusa, be sure to keep the reflective safety goggles we have provided you on during the viewing! Failing to comply with our safety precautions will result in a new sculpture in our art sector.

The Museum is proud to announce the art wing's brand new peripheral-only display!* *Can only be seen from the sides of your view.** **Does not work on photos of the display.

If you are to visit our exhibit featuring the genuine disembodied head of Medusa, be sure to keep the reflective safety goggles we have provided you on during the viewing! Failing to comply with our safety precautions will result in a new sculpture in our art sector.

Thank you to all who attended last night's special holiday exhibit: Santa Claus's remains! We must ask visitors, however, to avoid bringing your children to next year's viewing. All that sobbing really brought down the Christmas cheer, and we did not have enough reindeer jerky to appease them.

ⓘ 𝘼 𝙉𝙊𝙏𝙄𝘾𝙀 𝙏𝙊 𝙈𝙐𝙎𝙀𝙐𝙈 𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙁𝙁 Should we continue with our New Year's fireworks display, we must absolutely make sure we do so at a safe distance away from the building, lest we startle the wax figures and cause another breach.

𝙉𝙀𝙒 𝙔𝙀𝘼𝙍, 𝙉𝙀𝙒 𝙄𝙉𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙄𝙊𝙍! As per monthly occurrence, the Museum's room plan will have altered. Hope you haven't memorized the location of our exhibits, because it won't be the same tomorrow! ⓘ MAKE SURE TO HAVE VACATED THE MUSEUM AT MIDNIGHT. AN INTERIOR SHIFT IS THE COMMON CAUSE OF MISSING PERSONS.

𝙉𝙀𝙒 𝙔𝙀𝘼𝙍, 𝙉𝙀𝙒 𝙄𝙉𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙄𝙊𝙍! As per monthly occurrence, the Museum's room plan will have altered. Hope you haven't memorized the location of our exhibits, because it won't be the same tomorrow! ⓘ MAKE SURE TO HAVE VACATED THE MUSEUM AT MIDNIGHT. AN INTERIOR SHIFT IS THE COMMON CAUSE OF MISSING PERSONS.

The sculptures in the art wing have been temporarily removed from viewing after they have begun displaying explicit nudity rather than artistic nudity. We apologize for any inconvenience and/or scarring.

ⓘ 𝘼 𝙉𝙊𝙏𝙄𝘾𝙀 𝙏𝙊 𝙈𝙐𝙎𝙀𝙐𝙈 𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙁𝙁 Should we continue with our New Year's fireworks display, we must absolutely make sure we do so at a safe distance away from the building, lest we startle the wax figures and cause another breach.

The sculptures in the art wing have been temporarily removed from viewing after they have begun displaying explicit nudity rather than artistic nudity. We apologize for any inconvenience and/or scarring.

Thank you to all who attended last night's special holiday exhibit: Santa Claus's remains! We must ask visitors, however, to avoid bringing your children to next year's viewing. All that sobbing really brought down the Christmas cheer, and we did not have enough reindeer jerky to appease them.

Welcome to the 𝙈𝙖𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙡𝙤𝙪𝙨 𝙈𝙞𝙙𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙈𝙮𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙈𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙪𝙢! Enjoy your visit and take as much time as you'd like, because it just seems to fly here! It may feel like an eternity, but in reality, it's longer than you think.

For the comfort of our patrons with sensory issues, we have developed Quiet Rooms throughout the Museum guaranteed to mute any noises made outside or inside! If the silence becomes maddening, however, there are cacophonous Loud Rooms interconnected to even things out.

For the comfort of our patrons with sensory issues, we have developed Quiet Rooms throughout the Museum guaranteed to mute any noises made outside or inside! If the silence becomes maddening, however, there are cacophonous Loud Rooms interconnected to even things out.

The Museum is proud to announce the art wing's brand new peripheral-only display!* *Can only be seen from the sides of your view.** **Does not work on photos of the display.

Welcome to the 𝙈𝙖𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙡𝙤𝙪𝙨 𝙈𝙞𝙙𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙈𝙮𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙈𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙪𝙢! Enjoy your visit and take as much time as you'd like, because it just seems to fly here! It may feel like an eternity, but in reality, it's longer than you think.