Marks and Spencer’s iced spiced buns are the best of all the buns

Have you seen Weapons? We’re totally gripped and keep gasping and shrieking

Still eating Xmas pudding. For lunch

Just unfollowed blocked a so called women’s self help ‘accept yourself’ instagram guru who’s filmed herself recovering from a deep plane face and neck left. Internalised misogyny runs deep

Jennifer Saunders in the Amandaland Xmas special was 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼😂😂😂

Christmas hot dogs here- skinny sausages, melted Camembert and cranberry sauce in a finger roll

We’ve been playing Uno No Mercy and it’s RELENTLESS

After Eights are the best Christmas chocolate. I won’t be taking questions at this time

My son just opened the box of After Eight Mints FROM THE END. I’ve sellotaped it, opened it properly and have contacted my legal team

The kids are doing a 1000 piece jigsaw of Her Majesty The Queen that my daughter won in a quiz and the cat is helping

Festive Felicitations to you all 😍😍🧑‍🎄🧑‍🎄🧑‍🎄🧑‍🎄💃💃💃💃

No room in the fridge but nothing that we can eat today

THE WASHING MACHINE IS NOW CLOSED FOR CHRISTMAS. I do not want my artfully decorated house bedecked with airers full of damp socks

The shelf holding all the Christmas booze just fell off the wall. But NOT ONE BOTTLE BROKE

The Big Food Shop™️ today. I select, he scans.

Last bootcamp of the year and I’m doing full press ups full burpees and lifting heavier sand balls than I ever thought. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done for myself (short of buying those gold hi top trainers)

In a concerted effort to empty the fridge and cupboards to make space for Xmas food I’ve managed to rustle up a chicken lentil and veg bake thing, a huge tuna pasta bake (I know) and a fish pie

The Holdovers is a great film. And Christmassy

And probably will be for life and probably will be for life and probably will be for life STOP USING THIS BLOODY SONG ON REELS

Chesnuts roasting etc etc

Two gin and tonics two Prosecco’s £23 YES the staff do at the rugby club

They’ve moved everything round on Instagram and I’m like

Congrats to whoever nicked the large Amazon box from my doorstep (cheers Royal Mail) thinking it was a …PlayStation? Only to find it was a 12 pack of bog roll <wipes bum on leaf>

Hi I’m Sarah and my party piece is putting alarms on my phone for 4.15 when I meant 16.15

If all you do is bang on about how awful trans people are, you’re not championing women’s rights, you just hate trans people.

This is your annual reminder to get one of these. Best £7 you’ll spend

In a very 90’s move I’ve just taken out a magazine subscription. An actual paper magazine

Just paid ONE POUND AND NINETY NINE PENCE for a pack of Extra Strong Mints at Euston Station #BrokenBritain

Saw Wicked For Good. I’ll give it an upbeat 6/10. Wasn’t terrible, wasn’t jaw dropping

Ubiquitous tree photo

Starting the Great Annual Festive Furniture Reshuffle™️ in preparation for the tree

Introduce yourself with 5 things no one will read or care about

Three of us live in my house and we have …14 mugs. Every day 14 mugs get used. NOT ANY MORE. I’m hiding 11 of them

I thought Alex’s dance was pedestrian and dull

I’ve fucking hated getting the bus (my car is being repaired) so some online shopping has cheered me immeasurably. I won’t be wearing these together 🥸🥸🥸

This fool #catsofbluesky #Ramona

The beauty of the top deck

Car is fooked so I’m on the freezing bus stuck at the three way temporary lights and does anyone have a holiday home in Barbados

Why is there a Bridget jones statue in London now? Genuinely baffled

Why do they put bust sizes in cms on size charts? Who the fuck knows their bra size in centimetres ‘oh I’m a 94DD’

Had my eyebrows tinted this morning. Goodness. I’ve been scrubbing at them ever since

I always feel very cosmopolitan when I collect things from the Dry Cleaners

Anyone else have a student stuff a Pom Pom up their nose at 3.30? Just me?

Allowing your hair to go grey is not the worst thing that can befell you ladies, despite what everyone tells you <despairs>

My two adult sons have eaten a whole loaf of bread today. This is what I’m up against #locusts

This is an enjoyable read

Just had the misfortune of watching 103 year old Rod Stewart reading the lyrics of the song he was rasping from the autocue at the remembrance thing

I say don’t have a celebrity traitors 2. It’ll be full of ‘celebrities’ like the ones you get on celeb master chef now, with no purists

Actually I’m happy about that #celebrityTraitors

WHAAAAAAT what is Nick on??