When he stood up, he suddenly got dizzy and his vision began to #blur. "Something wrong?" his wife asked. He tried to reply, but collapsed before he could get a single word out. His wife looked down at the fortune cookie in her hand, "Savor your freedom," her fortune had said. #vss365

"You are a #conundrum," the demon said. "What does that mean?" the girl asked. "It means I don't know what to do with you," the demon explained, "I should kill you for summoning me, but I don't want to." "Can we have a tea party before you decide?" The demon took a seat, "I suppose." #vss365

"What the hell is that?" she pointed at the pool of blood that was oozing across the floor like an amoeba. "That is my fledgling," the vampire replied. "What happened to him?" "I was trying to teach him how to #sublimate, but he didn't understand the process and ended up melting instead." #vss365

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The vampire threw open the pantry door. "Did you really think you could #elude me by hiding in here?" "I wasn't hiding," she replied, "I came in here looking for this," she lifted a bag of rice. "Don't you dare." She dumped the rice onto the floor, "Happy counting," she said as she fled. #vss365

"It is time to put the #past behind us," her friend declared, "What's done is done." "But...," she started to protest. "No buts about it," her friend cut her off, "You need to stop worrying about what we did to your husband and start worrying about what we're going to do with his body." #vss365

"What do you #yearn for?" my gran asked. "I want to be popular," I replied. My gran pulled out an old book, "I can help with that." "No, you can't." My mom snatched the book away, "Last time you tried that spell you made everyone think I killed my prom date." "But it made you popular." #vss365

"What #constellation are you looking at?" He stepped onto the balcony. "Cygnus," she replied. "Why that one?" "I was told if you wish upon Cygnus's stars it would come true." "And you believe that?" He leaned against the railing which gave way. "I do now," she said, watching him fall. #vss365

"We confirmed that the growth we removed from your back was #malignant," the doctor said. "I'm glad you caught it when you did," the patient replied. "Don't celebrate yet," the doctor warned. Alarms suddenly began blaring. "It has escaped containment and is coming for you," he continued. #vss365

"You seem awfully #jovial for someone who just lost their mom." "That's because I didn't lose her," his wife replied. "How do you figure? We buried her yesterday." "Mom! Come in here please." A robot walked into the room. "We buried her body. Her soul was transferred into this robot." #vss365

"I can't believe you invited the detectives to dinner with the body of your husband lying in the basement," her sister said "Oh, he wasn't in the basement when they came," she corrected. "Where was he?" "In the oven." "Oh my god," her sister laughed, "You always were the #audacious one." #vss365

"Look what I found," he held up the electronic fish, "It's dad's old singing #bass." "See if it still works," his brother said. He pushed the button. The fish sprang to life, but instead of singing, it played a recording of their dead mother pleading with their father not to kill her. #vss365

The girl’s fairy godmother looked down at the #malformed tangle of arms and legs. “I left my wand here, didn’t I?” she asked. The girl nodded. “And you used it on your brother.” The girl nodded again. “What were you trying to turn him into?” “An octopus.” #vss365

"Oh my god! You #reek!" she gagged. "That's not me," her friend said, "It's you." The medical examiner popped his head into the autopsy room, looking at the bodies of the 2 women on the tables. "Something wrong?" his assistant asked. "Yeah," the M.E. replied, "I thought I heard voices." #vss365

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"Hurry," her brother yelled from the safety of the house, "The portal is closing." She was about to cross the threshold from the fantasy world she was visiting back to reality when a thought stopped her. Do I really want to go back to that #mundane life? #vss365

"What's this #Vigil Clause?" "That's nothing," the seller waved it off, "It just means you agree to light the lanterns in the cemetery out back to keep the dead from getting restless." "There's a cemetery behind the house?" Moans could be heard outside. "I forgot to light the lanterns." #vss365

"Your mom seems chipper today," my friend said. "She is," I replied. "Why the sudden mood change?" She was commenting about how my mom had done nothing except #seethe around the house the past few days. "My dad left," I replied. "And she's happy about that?" "He left in a body bag." #vss365

Her brother flicked the pacifier out of her doll's mouth, "That doll is stupid just like you," he sneered. Before he could withdraw his hand, the doll grabbed hold of his fingers with her #bionic grip. "I want to hold your hand," the doll said, squeezing his fingers until they broke. #vss365

"I have a confession," her husband announced. "Let's hear it," she said. "I poisoned your wine," he pointed at the empty glass. Instead of responding with #abject horror like he expected, she smiled. "I know," she said, "That's why I swapped our glasses when you dropped your napkin." #vss365

"I dare you to honk his nose." Her brother pointed at the smiling clown doll on the thrift store self. Unafraid, she reached up and gave the clown's nose a gentle #squeeze. "You shouldn't have done that," the store owner warned. When she looked back at the clown, it was no longer smiling. #vss365

Her brother yelled for help. Concerned, she went to check on him. "You don't want to go in there," the #pixie she'd befriended said. "Why?" "Because I invited a couple of Red Caps over for dinner." "Why would you do that?" "To fulfill your wish of being an only child," the pixie smiled. #vss365

She held the dead bird by the #wings and looked at the bloody mess that was once its head. "I'm sorry, mommy," her daughter said. "It's okay, honey," she replied, "I'm just glad you chose to use your power against this bird instead of one of the kids that was bothering you." #vss365

"Look! It's a #Mystical Marvin," she pointed at the electronic fortune teller, "Let's see what it says about us." She put in a coin and asked about their relationship. It gave her a card that said: UNTIL DEATH DO YOU PART. "When's that?" It gave her another card with today's date on it. #vss365

When the dwarves returned, Snow White had a feast waiting for them. After sitting down, Doc noticed one of them was missing. "Where's #Grumpy?" he asked. "I thought he was staying home to help you." Snow White plucked a beard hair from the roast, "I thought he went to the mine with you." #vss365

"Oh my god!" He held a hand over his mouth. "Told you leprechauns were real," she said. They'd followed a #rainbow to its end and found the little green fairies eating one of their neighbors. "The pot of gold myth is how they lure their prey in close enough to kill them," she explained. #vss365

"Why does mom have a box of #Rainbow Scout uniforms in the attic?" "Maybe she was a scout leader," her brother replied. "If she was, why didn't she let me join?" "You'd have to ask her." She unfolded a uniform and found it covered in blood stains. "I don't think she was a scout leader." #vss365

"Grandma said there are #spiders up here," her sister warned as they looked around the attic. "She just said that to keep us from discovering her secret," she replied. "What secret?" "That she's the only #spider in this house." She gestured at the body she'd found in a steamer trunk. #vss365

When she got home, she found her parents lying in a pool of blood. Her face broke into a grin, "I've been praying for this day for years," she said gleefully. "We're not really dead," her dad said, "We just wanted to #prank you." "Oh, I knew that," she lied, "I was #pranking you too." #vss365

"Why can't you keep your room clean like your sister?" her mom asked her brother "Because I don't have a #brownie to help me," he replied. "A what?" "A brownie. It's a little fairy." "Are you on drugs?" "Told you she wouldn't believe him," she said to the brownie hiding in her pocket. #vss365

The villagers pulled him out of the water and dragged him towards the volcano. "What're they doing?" "Swimming in the hot springs is against the #rules of the island," his wife replied, "Now they have to sacrifice you." "But you said it was okay to swim in the hot springs." "Did I?" #vss365

"Don't you #sass me!" he yelled at the closed door. "I'll do whatever I want," was the muffled replied. "The hell you will!" He threw open the door intending to punish his daughter but all he found was her doll. "What are you doing in my room?" his daughter asked from behind him. #vss365

He stared into the display case with a look of awe, "Is that an #angel feather?" he pointed. The owner of the curio shop nodded, "It is." "And is that the horn of a demon?" he tapped the glass. "It is." "What a coincidence," the man's features became demonic, "I recently lost one." #vss365

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She went into the attic, opened an old trunk in the corner, and dropped a #charm bracelet inside. Her son had found the bracelet and its #charms in a trail leading to the attic. "He almost found you," she said to the skeleton inside the trunk, "Using your bracelet to lure him was clever." #vss365

"Your dad didn't like having his photo taken, did he?" her date remarked. "What makes you think that?" "He always has the same #scowl on his face," he pointed at the nearest picture. "That's weird," she said, "I've looked at that photo hundreds of times and he was always smiling in it." #vss365

Separated from his mom, the boy wandered the store looking for her. As he did so, he began to hear the familiar #hum of her voice. "Mom?" he stopped in front of a mannequin. "I'm not your mom anymore," the mannequin replied, "You need to go back to your display in the kid's department." #vss365

He grabbed his tape measure and measured the distance from their tent to the nearest #elm tree. "Why do you keep doing that?" his son asked. "I'm checking to see if we need to leave." "Do we?" "Yes, we do" he started packing up. The tree was 2 feet closer than it was the previous day. #vss365

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"Hand me the #sapphire," the thief demanded. "If you want it, take it," the owner of the curio shop said, "I'm not touching that cursed thing." "Fine. I will." The thief smashed the glass and fled with the gem. He didn't believe the story about the sapphire's curse. But he soon would. #vss365

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"Did you hypnotize me?" The psychiatrist nodded, "I also implanted a posthypnotic suggestion to help you." "What kind of suggestion?" "One that releases your #primordial #self if anyone says you're fat." The conversation played through her mind as she stood over the body of her husband. #vss365

When he went to leave for work, he was annoyed to find a #slash in one of his tires. "Looks like you're going to be late," his wife said from the porch. When he opened the trunk to get the spare tire out, he was shocked to see the body of his mistress inside. "Very late," his wife added. #vss365

"Why don't we get more comfortable," she took off her dress. "Okay." He quickly #shed his clothes then reached out to grab her. "Not yet," she pushed him away so she could unzip her skin and pull it off. He screamed. She smiled. "Told you I wasn't like those other girls," she said. #vss365

She sighed when the strange #shape appeared above her boyfriend's head. Inside it was a clock showing that he had a week left to live. "What would you say if I told you that you had a week left to live?" she asked. "I'd say that's better than the day you have left," he pointed above her. #vss365

She heard something #scrape across the attic floor. "Did you hear that?" she pointed at the ceiling. "Yeah," her sister replied, "I think the new owner found our old steamer trunk." A muffled scream echoed down to them. "Sounds like she found our bodies too," she said. #vss365

"Is that snake #skin," she gestured at the scaly hide draped over a chair. "It is," her friend replied. "What about that one?" she gestured at the folded piece of leather next to it. "That's a different kind of snake skin," her friend said, "HIs name was Jon. We dated for a few months." #vss365