She squirted a #drizzle of paint onto the canvas and painted a door. “If you ever need to escape,” she said to her son, “Use this door.” “How?” he replied, “it’s not real.” “Are you sure of that?” “Pretty sure,” he went to touch the canvas but felt the cold metal of a doorknob instead. #vss365

“Touch me again and I’m going to slap the shit out of you,” she warned. “I’m so scared,” he mocked, poking her with his index finger. When her hand connected with his cheek, it #unmoored his soul, sending it flying across the bar while his body fell to the floor. “I warned you,” she said. #vss365

"Where're we going?" "It's a surprise," his wife replied as she #unmoored the boat from the dock. "Wait a minute," he said when he saw where they were headed, "Isn't this the spot your ex-husband had his accident?" Without warning, she hit him with an oar, "It wasn't really an accident." #vss365

"Looks like you got a special #delivery," I handed my husband the envelope. "I wonder who it's from," he said when he didn't see a return address. "Open it." Inside the envelope were pictures of his dead mistress. "I also sent a copy to the police with your confession," I smiled. #vss365

"It says," she looked at the Latin inscription on the crown they'd unearthed, "That if you were to #adorn the crown, all your dreams would come true." "I like the sound of that." He placed the crown on his head. "My bad," she corrected, "It actually says nightmares, not dreams." #vss365

"Somebody please turn off that music," the detective said. "Don't," his partner replied. "Why?" "Because I recognize it," the partner answered, "It's Beethoven's third #symphony." "So?" "This is Mrs. Brice's third husband to die," he pointed out, "I don't think that's a coincidence." #vss365

"You look #spooked," his friend said. "That's because I keep seeing my dead wife," he replied. "It's probably just the stress of losing her making you see things." While getting ready for bed that night, someone whispered, "I had my fingers crossed when I said until death do we part." #vss365

"Any idea where your wife could've gone?" the cop asked. "No," he replied, "I'm completely #clueless. She's never disappeared like this" That's when his wife walked into the room. "How did you get in here?" she asked the cop. "Your husband let me in," the cop pointed at an empty chair. #vss365

"I had the strangest #dream," her husband said upon waking, "I dreamt that you amputated my legs. Weird, huh?" "That wasn't a dream. The anesthesia I gave you just made you think it was." "Ha, ha, very funny." She tossed one of the amputated legs to him, "I wasn't joking." #vss365

"Pop the trunk," the man with the gun said. She moved to obey. "A word of advice," he added, "It is not safe for a woman like you to #travel alone in this country." "It's funny you mention that," she smiled as she opened the trunk, revealing the bodies inside, "That's what they said." #vss365

"I almost died," her husband said before recounting the accident that totaled his car. That night, while he slept, she looked at the symbol she'd drawn on the #sole of his foot the night before. "If I'd drawn that hex correctly you would've died like you were supposed to," she complained. #vss365

After years of being treated like an outcast, she finally decided to confront her parents. As she approached their house, a muscular man in Roman armor appeared beside her. "Who the hell are you?" she asked. "I am #Mars," he declared, "God of War. I'm here to document the battle to come." #vss365

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"Do you think you can make that #jump?" Her husband gestured at the gap between the boulders they were climbing across. "Yeah," she replied, "I just want to make sure my shoes are tied nice and tight first." She knelt and untied her husband's shoes. "Alright," she stood up, "You first." #vss365

"How about this one?" the used car salesman gestured at a blue #Saturn Aura. "No," she snapped. The car looked exactly like the one she'd used to dispose of her husband's body in the lake. "Are you sure?" the salesman became her husband, "It's got a spacious trunk." She woke up screaming. #vss365

"Here," Bob, the night guard trainer, handed him a nightstick. "What's this for?" "It's in case we have to #fight our way out of here tonight." He looked around the empty department store, "Fight who?" "Them," Bob pointed at a display of mannequins. "Ha, Ha." That's when they attacked. #vss365

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"Oh my god," she pulled the stuffed bear out of the box of childhood belongings, "It's my #Humble Harry bear!" She pulled the string in its back. "I value your friendship," Humble Harry said. "He still works!" She pulled the string again. "Why'd you leave me in that box?" Harry asked. #vss365

The German Shepherd watched his owner argue with her husband before storming out of the house. While she was gone, the husband invited another woman over. The shepherd didn't like that. An hour later, he sat between their bodies, waiting for his owner to come home and show her #gratitude. #vss365

He led his date into the basement and locked the door behind them. "This is where you start to #regret coming home with me." He showed her the knife he had hidden behind his back. "I think you'll be the one doing the #regretting." His date smiled, showing her fangs, "Assuming you survive." #vss365

"Do you #recall that conversation we had about your grandmother?" "The one about her ridiculous fear of photos trapping her soul on earth?" his wife replied. He looked over at the apparition of the old lady in the doorway. "I'm starting to think her fear wasn't that ridiculous," he said. #vss365

When the girl's blood hit the vampire's tongue, the trauma she had endured flowed from her into him. The mark it had left on her was so powerful that it burned the vampire's mind as he drank, but he didn't stop until he'd devoured the entire #memory of it, freeing her from its hold. #vss365

The slasher tripped and dropped his machete. In the 30 years he'd been slashing, he'd never been so clumsy. The boy he was chasing picked up the machete. Overcome with a sudden bloodlust, he attacked the slasher. The slasher didn't fight back. He knew the machete had found his #successor. #vss365

She walked into the bar and saw her husband with another woman. But instead of getting mad, she smiled. She smiled because she recognized the woman. She was wanted for murder. The police called her the Tinder Temptress. "Enjoy your #illicit affair while you can," she muttered as she left. #vss365

"Here's your tea." The elderly woman handed him a cup. "Thank you," the officer replied, taking the cup and sipping the tea. "What were you saying about those missing children?" the woman asked. The cop's eyes glazed over as the herbs in the tea #bewitched him. "What kids?" he replied. #vss365

"Don't pout," she said to her ex-husband after winning the house in the divorce, "I got you a #consolation prize." She tossed him a small box. "What is it?" he asked. "Keys to your girlfriend's apartment." He opened the box to find the keys still clutched in his girlfriend's hand. #vss365

"Where's my #magenta scarf?" he asked. "The one your secretary gave you?" his wife replied. "Yeah." "It's in the garage." "Why is it in the garage?" he asked as he opened the garage door. "Because it looks better on her." She gestured at the secretary's body hanging from the scarf. #vss365

"What's that?" he asked. "It's my grandmother's #augury diary," she replied, "I found it in the attic." "What's an augury diary?" "It's for writing down visions of the future." "Did she write anything about us?" "No," she lied. She didn't want him to worry over the few days he had left. #vss365

"I thought this house only had 3 bedrooms." He gestured at the 4th room. "Functionally speaking, it does," the realtor replied, "Bad things happen in that room. So it's best not to use it." "The house is haunted?" "You said location #matters more than history," the realtor reminded him. #vss365

Disguised as a human, Death sat at the bar, watching the customers treat the bartender like shit. "Can I get you another drink?" she asked. Death nodded. "To your #health," he picked up his new drink and toasted the bartender. He'd decided to let her live and take the bar patrons instead. #vss365

"What number am I thinking of?" the tech asked. The girl focused her thoughts on the tech, trying to read his mind. A moment later his head exploded, showering her with gore. "Sorry," the girl apologized. "It's okay," the doctor replied, "You're still #learning to control your powers." #vss365

"Why did you cover that mirror?" the owner of the antique shop asked. "Because there is something off about it," the cashier replied. "Off how?" The cashier removed the covering from the mirror. The #reflection showed the two of them grinning even though neither one of them were smiling. #vss365

His wife made him watch a news report about a murdered man. "I don't see how this is #relevant to me." He gestured at the TV, "I didn't know the guy, you did." "Keep watching," she said. "The police found hairs on the victim," the newscaster reported. "Those hairs are yours," she smiled. #vss365

"Are you looking for a doll?" the clerk asked the lady browsing her antique doll collection. "I am," the lady replied, "But I'm looking for a #specific type." "And what type would that be?" "Well, my daughter is a bit of a brat so I'm looking for one that will put her in her place." #vss365

"You promised you'd take no #action against me," he whined. "You're right," his wife replied, "I did promise that and unlike you, I keep my promises." "Then why am I tied up?" His wife's best friend stepped into view holding a knife, "Because I didn't promise you anything," she smiled. #vss365

“As you can see our robo-maids come with a host of #options,” the salesman said. “Has one ever malfunctioned and killed someone?” she asked. “Never,” he replied. “Oh,” she sounded disappointed. “But I could program one to kill for the right price,” he smiled, “Off the books of course.” #vss365

“And #goal!” She raised her arms and jumped into the air. “Did you see that?” She pointed at the open manhole. “I did,” her friend replied, “Now do you think you could quit horsing around and help me get rid of rest of him?” She gestured at the remaining pieces of her dismembered husband. #vss365

"Ms. Lee, can I switch seats?" Johnny asked as the other kids rushed out the door for recess, "I'm tired of Billy teasing me." "I don't have an #issue with that," Ms. Lee replied, "But I do have a question." "What?" "Who is Billy?" There was no one with that name on her attendance sheet. #vss365

“Where are you going?” the man shouted from the back of the ambulance, “You just passed the hospital!” The ambulance driver turned so the man could see his skeletal face. “I’ve got orders to #transport you someplace else,” he replied. #vss365

She wheeled the sheet-covered body into the #science lab, "I've got a new specimen for you." "Where did it come from?" the research pathologist asked. She pulled the sheet off revealing a body that looked exactly like hers, only older, "The time travel lab," she replied. #vss365

She looked at the old wrinkled card in her had. She'd gotten it from one of those fortune teller machines years ago. It said her lucky #number was 7. I should've quit while I was ahead, she thought. "Ms. Rye, You are charged with 8 counts of murder," the judge declared, "How do you plead?" #vss365

The new kid was about to step on a crack when Eddie stopped him. "Step on a crack, break your mother's back," Eddie warned. "You really believe that superstitious #myth?" Eddie pointed to his mom who was sitting in a wheelchair. His mom flipped him off. "She still hasn't forgiven me." #vss365

He awoke to the sound of his wife retracting a tape #measure. "Oops," she apologized, "I didn't mean to wake you." "It's okay," he replied, "I have to pee anyway." As he walked by the window, he looked out and saw a huge hole in the backyard. "You weren't supposed to see that," she said. #vss365

"Where's the Italian #literature section?" the battered woman asked. "Follow me." The librarian led her to a locked room inside which was a single book about Giulia Tofana. "Is this what you're looking for?" the librarian opened the hollowed-out book, showing her the vial of poison within. #vss365

"The #law in this country states that any foreigner who enters a shrine must be executed to appease their gods," she said to her husband as the police dragged him away. "But you said it was okay to go inside," he replied. "I don't remember saying that," she smiled. #vss365

She stepped into the glen and was surprised to see that the fairies were about to eat her brother. “Help me,” he begged. She spoke to the fairies in their #language. They started dragging him toward the fire. “What did you say to them?” he cried. “I told them I didn’t have a brother.” #vss365

"Remember that list I made for you?" he asked, "The one with the names of all the woman I've had a #history with?" "What about it?" his wife replied. He showed her the newspaper headline about another murder. "It seems someone is killing the women on that list." "How odd," his wife said. #vss365

She watched the car submerge in the lake, her boyfriend's body slumped over the wheel. "Oh no," she suddenly cried out. "What's wrong?" her mom asked. "I left my #geography textbook in the front seat." Her mom pulled the book out of her purse, "This isn't my first crime scene," she said. #vss365

"Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be #famous?" I asked. "I don't want to be famous," my husband replied. In the distance sirens could be heard. "That's a shame," I said. "Why?" "Because the police are about to find the body of your mistress in the trunk of your car." #vss365

"Where's Chad?" my mom asked. "You'd have to ask grandma," I replied. "Why would she know where your boyfriend is?" "Because she said she was going to dispose of his body." "What?" I held up my witchcraft #education book, "We made it to the chapter on sacrifices and he was convenient." #vss365