Well, I managed to temporarily polymorph one of the PCs into a frog, and it was the very magic resistant one at that, so that was fun. He was more upset about being polymorphed into a frog than being polymorphed, though.

Okay. 250 left to go and I'm out of time. Please help?

If your friend climbed down a manhole, would you climb down too? Oh, you would, a whole bunch of you, wow look at you go ...

Man destined to come in 38th place in field of 19 candidates.

The man who literally can't find his ass with both hands and a road map when Trump (or others in his administration) do something illegal, bigoted, or stupid, shockingly is in the loop on how there must be election fraud in a state other than his own. Uh huh, Mr. Speaker. Sure.

I reiterate, I don't know how many people attending the game will be booing Trump, but everyone affected by this who isn't inside MSG? Oh, they'll boo the fuck out of him. He probably won't hear it, but it will happen.

I genuinely have a couple different thoughts on how this is going to play out (assuming Trump attends). The first is that given the ticket cost, the ticket holders are much less likely to be super rowdy. Someone plopping down several thousand for a seat doesn't want to get ejected, right?

Ah, the yearly "joy" of the South Carolina car tax, less than 10% of which goes to pay for road maintenance. Over half of it is for school taxes and bonds, so.... I can't be too grumpy about that.

Ah, school must be out. I just had someone stuff a "send your kids to our Bible summer camp" flyer in my door.

As I've mentioned, I'm an atheist, so I technically have no skin in this game, but two things can be true here. 1) Mike Lee is a bigoted scumbag. 2) He's correct in saying that the government should not be deciding which sects of Christianity "count" as Christians.

Thunderbolts and lightning are said to be very, very frightening.

...... wow. I mean, just..... wow. So.... is it trans signaling, or bisexual lighting? Or both at the same time? Whatever it is (or isn't), ol' JT's brain is cooked, probably from huffing the cheap spray cheese or whatever his habit is, so yeah.

Adventures in home maintenance: My kitchen faucet has been "spitting" water to the side for a while now. As in, you turn on the water and most of the water goes straight down, and some of it shoots off to the side. So I look things up, and go "It has to be the aerator."

Let's be honest, he looked swollen and unkempt before and after it as well. That's how he is now.

It's really simple. The only way that Trump is ever going to be happy (for him, that is) in an interview, is if the interviewer is only asking questions like "Many people say you're the best and most handsome and smartest President ever. Isn't that amazing?" Because he's a pathological narcissist.

I honestly have to wonder how much of this is Trump lying, how much is Trump randomly changing his mind, and how much is Trump not even being able to remember what he said a day or two ago.

Normally, I'd think "Well, those tickets are fucking expensive, a lot of those attendees are going to be pretty well off, and maybe they voted for Trump.", but if you think about it, those are exactly the sort of people who are going to be turbo-pissed about being inconvenienced.

I mean, we knew the Trump administration was full of shit, but this is a bit excessive.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Anyone who paid attention in 1st grade knows that 'dumb' has a B. Which explains why Trump is acting like this is surprising news.

While it was tasty, I'm probably never ordering another Indian dish with rayal spice ever again.

He's in a grumpy mood, then. I hope it lasts for his entire weekend.

As we all know, pipelines can be built nearly instantaneously, never suffer damage, and can't be targeted by missiles. *puts finger to imaginary earpiece* I've just been informed that none of that is true.

Look, it's pretty simple. While the JCPOA wasn't a fabulous deal, Trump is a raging, narcissistic, egomaniacal, racist moron. He is incapable of accepting that Obama got a better deal with Iran than he is ever going to get, and it drives him fucking batshit.

Not even trying to hide it. Of course, if anyone on the GOP side of things is asked about it, they'll know nothing while simultaneously claiming that "clearly" he's the hardest working President ever.

He is just so shallowly desperate to tack his name on as many things as possible.

I'm not sure the continued "Fuck you if you're not rich." message is going to help the GOP in the midterms.

This is due to changes in society. People tended to tack more conservative as they got older because they owned their homes so were worried about real estate prices and had retirement funds and investment portfolios so were worried about the markets. People don't have those anymore. (ranty thread)

I am waiting for the day where he doesn't catch himself and his forehead slaps the desk.

Laser focused on issues that will affect all Americans. sarcasm intended

Rehab?

Look, I'm not President or anyone important, but 1) doctors don't make you take physicals for shits and giggles, much less three of them in 13 months, and 2) the same goes for cognitive tests, where it's less about "acing it" and more about seeing if your brain is melting (non-scientific term).

You know, as bad, shitty, and unbelievable answers go, this is really bad, really shitty, and completely unbelievable.

They're ignoring it speeds never before seen in an administration.

So, it's clear that the staffer didn't come to the conclusion that I did after, oh, a minute, that anyone who sees the image on the right, and then meets Mike Rogers in person is going to think something like, "Holy fuck, he must be sick. He's lost so much muscle mass. Maybe it's cancer."

Well, all the lugnuts on my car have been replaced. They needed to be replaced, because Ford, for some fucking reason (money), decided to put shitty aluminum-alloy caps on the lugnuts that came with the car. And aluminum will expand when it gets hot.

A security hole so big you could drive an 18-wheeler through it.

I have considered making one of these as a prop, but I'd definitely be making it as a prop, not to pass off as any sort of antique.

Trey Gowdy has never had a good haircut, part 32,519. Also, this totally isn't a distraction from Trump's cognitive health which can best be described as *checks notes* forlorn? Who wrote this?

I mean, I had been wondering why Kid Rock wasn't part of this nonsense to begin with, so there you go. Also, you know Trump is going to try and stick Burchett with the bill for this.

How greedy is Trump? Yes.

Holy shit, I managed to mow the lawn without having to take multiple breaks. Or any breaks at all. On one mower battery. ...... COMPUTER, END PROGRAM

"It will be the most secure ballroom in the world. They're never getting me out of here."

"It's inoperable, Mr. President."

Well, that's not nearly thawed enough for dinner..... I'd like to say that will teach me to start thawing things a little earlier, but we all know that's a lie.

Can I just say, I'm surprised that they didn't manage to get Kid Rock?

Ah, but then he'll say he stopped a war with Gambia, taking him to 10 (or 11, or who knows) wars he's stopped. It makes sense, as long as you don't think about it.

Just in case anyone was curious, there's not the space/existing rock face to carve his ugly fucking mug there. Basically, it's a pipe dream in more ways than one.

My phone: Hey, here's something new from H.P. Lovecraft. Me: I really doubt that. *checks* Me: Yeah, "The Doom That Came to Sarnath" is over 100 years old. It might be a new offering in the Google bookstore, but that's it. *checks price* Me: 19 cents? ..... okay