Maybe we’re too harsh on men writing women because sometimes when I come down the stairs my chest really do be breasting boobily

Okay I’m conscious, now what? Stay like this? For hours? Good grief

Incredibly normal discourse occurring on my reel of Techboy and his dolls

Everyone’s sexiness would definitely increase dramatically if we all dressed like pirates all of the time

Here is a tiny sword that I made whilst avoiding my adult responsibilities

Putting your face out there means people will pick it apart and introduce new things to feel self conscious and insecure about continuously. In a lot of ways content creating is a nightmare when you have mental health difficulties

Logically of course I know it’s unlikely my face is falling off. Every time I have felt my face falling off, it’s still there later on. Unless this time it really is falling off, which would be quite terrible but at least validating

Sometimes reality is strange. I went into the toy shop with Techboy to peruse the dolls and found another lady there with a baby voice wearing headphones and getting excited about dolls

I made apple pie today. I’m sticky now

Here I am on the stairs. Techboy is baking pumpkin pie so the house smells very good

I remember when things were better and we made songs about boys who liked corn

Isn’t it so great that we live in a world where we can have other little creatures living with us

It would be pretty funky and fly if everything everywhere could stop being quite so terrible

I just want to look at cute videos of happy cats

Do you think food would be more or less enjoyable if it moaned in ecstasy with every bite?

Always fascinated by people flexing their lack of empathy as if it somehow admirable and not both embarrassing and yucky

It’s time like this I like to think about deep sea hatchetfish. I bet they don’t know they’re called deep sea hatchetfish. They probably don’t even know what a labubu is

What if a small group of people with unimaginable amounts of wealth and a clear motivation to hoard more of it also controlled all of the media and channels that humans rely on to understand our world? And the majority of platforms that we use to communicate with eachother? Nothing could go wrong

Womanhood is so exhausting 8pm: crying 9pm: furious dancing to Chaka Khan’s 1983 hit ‘Ain’t Nobody’ 9:30pm: crying

The glue wants you to reach into their glueussy and take their children

Scammers are feeding my videos into AI generators and it’s a very weirdly dystopian and violating thing to have an AI stealing your voice especially for such nefarious purposes. Be warned this video is disturbing in a nightmarish and uncanny way

Listen just because I’m squeaky and awkward doesn’t mean I’m not smarter than you and also better at video games and wood working and satisfying women

Love when men waggle their tongues at me in public. I am instantly overcome with lust, the pavement erupts with rose petals, a sudden cool breeze twirls in and lifts me from the ground while a pair of doves remove my underwear. The pinnacle of romance

:3

Starting new antipsychotics is always fun because you might expect to get less psychotic but also you might find yourself breaking your no contact rule with your deceased mother

Oh no I have done it again

I’d press my ear to the floorboards and listen to the screaming. And the worst part was I couldn’t tell if my heart was racing in fear or dancing in excitement. after a while, you grow nerves in the chaos. It wraps around your spine and teaches your body to call it home

I like to watch the pigeons do their little mating ritual on the roof opposite my house. I have never, in all of my years of pigeon witnessing, seen a female pigeon be impressed by the male’s silly little blobby dance. They’re so real for that

Killing Elmo is definitely what the good guys would do, right guys?

I love when babies laugh for the first time because they look just a little bit scared and unsure about what’s happening to them and these days that’s how I feel when genuine laughs take over me too

Saw a tiny girl in a twirly dress watching me with wide eyes so I gasped and said “a princess” And her face lit up like a lantern. I think the air itself turned into sugar. So if you’re struggling to feel then maybe try that

Techboy messaging me with the things I say after having an edible again

A convicted trafficker’s words should never be taken as fact. They shouldn’t even be humoured. We should only listen to them for the purposes of education, to better protect humanity against their manipulation. I’m continuously confused at where this world is heading

Shame her she likes to lick my armpits

The internet used to be an escape. Now it’s a bit like diving into a pool of mouse traps naked

Ugh I hate the part of my cycle where I restrain my mate in my mandibles and bite into his head to macerate his nutrient dense tissues for optimal consumption

Very important news! a butterfly landed on me

Sometimes things happen & it doesn’t feel right to share it with 1000s of people so instead I write it out and delete it several times and then finally say something about the trees instead. You know where you stand with the trees. Unless one falls on you, then you are probably no longer standing

The amount of brand deals in my inbox asking me to advertise AI and go to events centred around AI tech is ridiculous what is going on in this strange world. I’d rather exclusively pee in my own shoes for the rest of time thank you

To them, fairness means being allowed to be unfair to people they see as beneath them. Discrimination is only a thing when it stops them from discriminating. Injustice is when they face the consequences of their own intolerance. They demand inclusion only so they are able to exclude others

“You’re just trying to be quirky” am I? Okay? And you’re just scrolling on social media for hours every day and criticising people you don’t know to help alleviate your feelings of insecurity because your life is devoid of whimsy and imagination and joy?

How am I meant to pick a hand soap. There are so many hand soaps. What is the normal process for selecting anything. This world is a gauntlet of impossible decisions and I am paralysed by my own inconsequence in a universe that doesn’t care if my hands are clean or if I even exist at all

Me: Techboy: Me: Techboy: Did I ever tell you the story of when someone mistook me for a homeless girl?

This is my infant

Who decided that describing food as “viral” means people will wanna try it? I don’t understand any of you people

I am bi and I’m attracted to all women and sometimes men that say “jolly good”

10 litres of tomato soup (pineapple for scale)

Today I am the tomato fairy

Clingy kitten is poorly again:(