After six months, Venus and I may be over. She was playing auto tune songs at 1 AM and I had walk. I’ve sat calmly and patiently through madness for decades but one has their limits.

Ladies. Y’all think Bib Fortuna was sexy or what?

I didn’t choose this life… quarter mile at a time, etc.

Look. If a not-married not-crazy woman from my generation shows some interest it’s not like I’m gonna tell them to F off. I swear I’m not actively scouting mental hospitals for dates. These things just kinda happen. Repeatedly. I’m doing my best over here guys.

I asked Siri which princesses had castles at the Disney parks. Then I asked it which Princess had a castle at Dollywood and it said Meghan Trainor. I’m skeptical.

Welp.

Lovely day here on Wise St.

Staycation lunch.

Dear the Algorithm, Please never let a music track with the words “feat” or “remix” ever hit my ears again. Thanks.

AI is probably the worst idea since slavery. We could just stomp that shit out right now rather than living in hell for thousands of years.

I accidentally bought regular Cheerios. Guys, how did this company stay in business before honey nut technology? Was their competition Gravel-Os?

Spider-Noir is on Prime but it’s the most Warner Bros show I can recall seeing.

PRS Silver Skys are not Strats. Shorter scale length. Not even the same instrument. They’re tiny little guitars for babies. Relax.

Same Bucky. Same.

Kinda neat that the United States is ending on its 250th birthday. Nice found number.

I finished Primal this morning. It should win the Noble Prize or whatever. We should make it Pope.

I’ve watched somewhere around eleventy billion guitar videos on the tik toobs and the you toks and the facety grams and I’m here to tell you, there are probably less than five people on this planet that know anything about guitar and they don’t have phones.

This Monarch TV show plays out this weird fantasy where the woman you love is still young when you are old but also your son takes her to the bone zone in the past. Real Chris Claremont shit going on over here.

Wild that shit happened to Rotta the Hutt twice.

Dang ol’ ducks.

Boy I sure got problems.

WTF this world? Pour one out for Rowdy Busch.

Doing important job job stuff tonight.

Yeah, Fender could just let everyone use their 72 year old Stratocaster designs and patents. But also, guitar manufacturers could just come up with something better. Go ahead. Let’s see it. What’s stopping ya? You’ve had 72 years buddies.

For anyone still keeping score, The Sun has left the zip code. Godspeed.

I should have paid more attention in that how to solve everyone else’s problems class I never took.

Guys. I can’t solve multiple crisis in multiple towns. I need everyone on Earth to take their pills. Thanks.

If Netflix MMA is anything like UFC MMA then I assume the show starts tonight at 9PM and Rhonda and Gina will face off sometime between 3 and 4PM next Thursday.

Weird ass week over here. How y’all doing?

I like the Strokes but I ain’t letting no auto tune in my ears y’all. No thank you Julian. It’s gonna be a no from me dawg.

If you are not in the middle of a nervous breakdown please share your secrets.

Just throwing this out there for anyone keeping score or working on a Shano Wikipedia page; I am not actually a mental health professional. I don’t have any idea what I’m doing. In ANY situation.

Celebrity roasts are gross. I’ve always felt dark energy off them. Dark cult initiation vibes. Not for me.

Fuck them aliens. Sneaky ass fucks. Who need ‘em?

Happy Unwed Mother’s Day!

The English voice for Ken on this new Fist of the Northstar sounds like Napoleon Dynamite and I can’t stop laughing.

Dang ol’ music store over here. #staturday #fender #epiphone #squier

In 1999, I was in a local commercial for an indoor gun range. Here it is.

My Miley Cyrus style post break up empowerment song is titled, “I Can Make My Own Spaghetti”.

Dear olds. Stop telling everyone that you’re old. They know.

And oh, how they danced The little children of Stonehenge Beneath the haunted moon for fear That day break might come too soon #AfterlifeCrisis #VFWtour

The only think keeping everyone that has ever met RFK Jr. from punching him in the balls is the pills he wants to take away from them.

"The Greatest Comic Character Of All Time Is J. Wellington Wimpy," by Tom Spurgeon www.comicsreporter.com/index.php/br...

Here. Watch my band play a song. You love it. It’s your favorite. Honestly, most of you don’t even deserve songs this good but I love you so here it is. #AfterlifeCrisis youtu.be/t5fEi3BAYdE?...

“That’s too much queso.” - A sentence I have never heard or said.

Just here for the tacos. (And the salary.) #cincodemayo #cubelife

So one thing that's really interesting about how different the early Pre-Empire Star Wars comics were was that the Flash Gordon influences were VERY apparent. And the art was imaginative as all hell. Also they were horny too.

Friend. Have you heard the good news about these arts? Tera Lora!

Do the youths of TN know about these arts? Funny you should ask. Wicked Ways!