there is something so beautiful about old people making art that makes me want to cry. here's a cover of I Miss You by Blink 182: youtu.be/AnbEBT1xUgg

been in an art block for so long and am realizing I'm just scared to make bad art. honestly, watching old Jenna Marbles videos where she just goes for it is so inspiring

I'm not sure if it's seasonal affective disorder, the state of the world, the cold, loneliness, returning to work from loa, surgery recovery limitations, or something else I can't think of, but I'm fucking sad, dude... maybe it's just everything. it's hard when you don't know when you'll feel better

I can't work in an office because it's not acceptable to wander around quoting Old Gregg while stretching your legs

moon square progression! #crochet #grannysquare

Vivi's house is cuter than mine!

starting a new save for I Was a Teenage Exocolonist! going to focus more on study than exploration and work this time. I feel like I got VERY lucky in my first playthrough, and I kinda want the full experience this time... without spoiling anything lol

any friends still on finch? wanted to check here before adding reddit folks lol

please enjoy this adhd note

when was the last time you had a drink come out of your nose? my body just decided to irrigate my sinuses with tea. it kinda worked, and I can breathe again lol!

woah wtf hot flashes are crazy

new obsession! currently on my third re-watch of season 1 then remembered we just had a B&N open in town. so Andrew took me on my first outing since surgery to get the light novel! #apothecarydiaries

apparently I like to bite my lower lip a lot. I know I have a habit of scratching my lip with my teeth, but it's painfully obvious how much I do it after I dropped my phone on my mouth christmas morning lmao

I'm 8 days post op from my hysterectomy, it's late, I can't sleep, and I'm so bored. it's an interesting time though. forgot my anxiety meds existed with no issue, and my adhd brain is craving novelty more than ever. not sure what to do with this.

I wanted an elegant halloween look, and this kinda gave me Harrow vibes. then I came across this other player that could totally be Dulcy!! #animalcrossing #lockedtomb #ninthhouse

cancer screening yesterday was negative! at this rate, we'll be able to space my appointments out more. my final CT scan is early next year, then I'm done. it's been a long chapter, and I'm glad it's ending. unrelated: my labubu are perfect

was just walking around like an ipad kid watching The Office while heading to the kitchen for a bedtime snack. it was dark and I didn't see Espre walking towards me. now she thinks I rammed my shin into her face on purpose 😭 thankfully she is forgiving and already had treats and is cuddling with me

I was going to color tonight, but I can't find my pencil sharpener. :( I really don't have the energy to dig everything out of my closet either. but I did find my little square sketchbook, and it's the perfect size for my little labubu characters! maybe I'll have a book full of them someday

I made another! these little things are fun to draw lol #labubu

I saw these guys in store when I went in for a tamagotchi toy. didn't know what they were but was super tempted to get the one. and then it blew up. and I finally saw some in person at a recent tama event. they're so cute! wanted to draw her stylized and with hair. I wonder what her name would be..

...my teeth hurt 😭

I went to the dentist for the first time today. yes, mid-thirties. first time. and everyone was so kind and proud of me for taking that step. there is no shame in a late start. it only matters that you keep going. 🩷

omg I am EXCITED for this!

I try to keep it positive here. or at least real without being a downer. but I just want to take a moment to laugh about how insurance denied a claim for one of my cancer screenings. stage 3c survivor, and they wanted to double check a spot on my lung. being sick is expensive lol I got this tho 💪

sometimes you struggle. sometimes it takes you months to re-read a middle school reading level book, and that's okay!

last weekend was wonderful. clowned a bit. saw a friend I haven't seen in years. cut to today. it's been a rough week and it's only tuesday. thankfully I get second weekend starting tomorrow. I plan to adhd vibe my way through. there's only like two things that need focus, but I'm free after that!

I knocked over my dr pepper AND broke my couch while taking clown selfies. I think I'm getting closer to my final look! now to put together an outfit. need some yarn for a new collar at least! . #clown #clownpaint #clownmakeup #clownlife

it rained this morning. we opened our windows to let the cool fresh air in. I'm drinking pumpkin spice tea and listening to Stardew and Chill while we clean the house. chores are still overwhelming for some reason, but I'm relaxed. 🍂

we've established that I like clowns, but did you know that is a recent thing I started this year? more details in the alt text! I have plans in the works and skills to develop, but I need to start by getting consistent sleep for a change... good night! . #clown #clowns #clowning #clownpaint

FINALLY played It Takes Two with Andrew today and what took us so long?! this game is so fun. we had to take a break after the first boss but like... the vacuums eyes... their EYES 😨

just an ball of anxiety! whatsaltareyou.com

I realized the Nooks were about to close, so I sprinted to sell my stuff and they have soft closing music?! it's so prettyyy #acnh

I definitely didn't get enough sleep, and I also didn't finish The Hobbit, but I'm STILL in a really good mood! my sister gave me some juggling balls that feel better than the ones I made out of tennis balls, rice, and tape lol. so I'll be practicing that during my little breaks. still sleepy though

autumn crops!! 🥕🍅🎃🫛🍂

first I was sick but now I'm like in a REALLY good mood and just can't sleep. I have work and a CT scan tomorrow, and I don't know how to make myself sleep. melatonin has been giving me weird dreams, so that's out. music and maybe finally finish reading The Hobbit??

back to work for me! listening to Purrple Cat to help me focus. Phantom Waltz is so good and gives me Moonlight Sonata + Castlevania vibes

ohhh nooo a power outage during work hours! whatever shall I dooo?

we finally finished watching What We Do in the Shadows last night and it was so good! I feel like the two episodes leading to the end were better, but the ending itself was great. now I'm in the mood for spooky or autumn themes. maybe I can find a cozy game to stream! I'll post when I have options.

good morning from Fuchsia City! population: at least one spider, a bunch of ants, and maybe a moth that hung out with me as I cleaned up dead leaves and flowers yesterday. she's looking a little barren but there are new buds and I plan to put a little compost in her bed today when the spider vacates

there's a pear tree down the road that I look at every time we go out, and I kept wondering if all that food was going to go to waste. but the other day, there was a FREE sign at the bottom!

I neeeed to get the creative juices flowing again and feel like I need an end goal for that. my interests are all over the place so it's hard to channel the energy into anything coherent sooooo how about streaming? I haven't been on twitch in so long, and it like encompasses everything I want to do

finding out the hard way that melatonin only does so much when you have completely fucked your sleep schedule. I was due for this, honestly. time to switch from screens to reading random thought of the night: how do people have time/energy for multiple hobbies? there's so much I want to do :(

why is making plans so hard sometimes? I just want to see a friend that I haven't seen in ages, then my body rebels on me. and it's been a busy month, so I have lots of cleaning and other stuff to catch up on. not to mention the doctor appointmentssss!

magical girls, but they're clowns! I had this idea while watching Madoka Magica, but they won't be nearly as traumatizing lol. I think she uses sand for support magic, like inflicting sleep. more info about the drawing itself is in the alt text . #sketch #sketchbook #drawing #clown #magicalgirls

hmm I feel like I have a cold...

btw I played Out of Space with my husband the other day, and it is HARD. I tried it hy myself thinking he was rushing into things, and it gets super hard towards the end even on zen mode. I got so stressed I had to turn it off lol . #outofspace

feeling a bit sick today plus some allergies. really don't want to work right now, but not much longer left. I'll put on Game Grumps playing Minish Cap to get through the last bit.

anyway, here's all the tamas I've raised so far on the new tamagotchi paradise. missing violetchi because I forgot to get a pic of her. :( I haven't tried gene mixing yet, but I have been focusing on egg hunts and generally rasing resources . #tamagotchi #tamagotchiparadise

I truly am trying to go to sleep, but my brain won't let me. thankfully I'm not spiraling, but the past and alternate realities are really on my mind. I just finished watching Madoka Magica the other day, and I'm still a little thrown by the ending.

took a break, but kinda feel like coming back and talking to the void again