How I’ve looked since November 5th, 2024. And also after watching and writing about Part 1 of “A Presumption of Innocence.” 🔗 in bio to read all about it and then be as sickened as me

Blech. This one. I had forgotten how repulsive it is. And with that ringing endorsement, head to the 🔗 in bio and prepare to be all the way grossed out

My Part 4 (and final) recap of “Home and Away” irrefutably proves that line dancing eradicates racism. So Electric Slide yourself on over to the 🔗 in my bio and read all about it

My Part 4 recap of “Home and Away” is somehow already done and live on Substack 🤷🏼‍♀️ 🔗 in bio

A writing schedule? I don’t know her, but I somehow managed to bust out the Part 3 recap of “Home and Away” in a week. Part 4 will drop sometime in September, probably 🔗 in bio to read a true feat in Sad Lady blogging

Hey. Everyone’s finally coming around to my whole Brandon Fucking Suuuuucks theory in my Part 2 recap of “Home and Away.” Swipe through to see the reactions of people in the throes of dealing with an exhausting, insufferable, furrow-browed MENACE and then click the 🔗 in bio to read all about it

A shiny and new recap for your Saturday evening reading pleasure 🔗 in bio

I would say I cycled through all of the faces made in these screengrabs today, but tbh, it was mostly an approximate 24 hour combo of Kelly + ➡️ Brandon (I looked like the latter as I was leaving voicemails for Keebler Elf in DEMON form, Mike Johnson, and doing laps through my house) (1/3)

Happy Easter. And not in the phony, “I’ll reign [sic] Fire & Fury upon your ‘Civilians’ and do Crime during war because of All of My LETHALITY and tremendous Deal-Making skills even While Sundowning. FAKE NEWS. HORMUZ. 24, no 48, no 336 hours!” way that some people wish it (1/2)

Come for the merciful conclusion of a really boring episode of television; stay for the dramzzzz involving the love triangle that instilled in 12-year-old me the theory that anyone you ever love will fuck you over eventually 🤷🏼‍♀️ 1/2

I swear the blog is still *mostly* about Beverly Hills, 90210 🔗 in bio to my god forsaken 4th and final recap of “Highwire,” may we never speak of it again

No man wearing THAT tank top & actively emotionally cheating on his gf w/ her best friend w/ whom he recently physically cheated has ANY right to look this good. You’re fired from life, Mr. McKay 🔗 in bio to my Pt 3 recap of “Highwire” where u can read all about it while being enraged + hot/bothered

We’re talking political rage, proactivity + next steps, and the combined atrocities of Steve’s IQ and Brandon’s self-righteousness, all in my Part 3 recap of Highwire, also known as a good time to take a nap 🔗 in bio

In case you need a break 🔗 in bio

You’ll love him (mostly because he looks like THAT) only to hate him mere moments later ➡️ when 😒 Read all about it in my latest recap of Pt 1 of Highwire, the TV episode equivalent of crushing & snorting a 24-ct box of Benadryl tablets & washing them down with several saucepans of warm milk 🔗 in bio

Substack? I DO know her. We’re giving it a tryout 🔗 in bio for my Part 1 recap of the snooziest snoozefest this side of your Sealy Posturepedic, “Highwire.”

The Gang is exiting 2025 just as I am: 1. Seething; 2. Haughty; 3. Disgusted; 4. Stink-eyed; 1/2

Me when someone stands too close to me in the check stand line at the grocery store, which always. My Part 4 recap of “The Back Story” coming soon, but you can dig into Part 3 now at the 🔗 in bio

Choose Your Fighter: Downfall of Democracy Edition Brandon Category 1. Belligerence with a side of sassy prick ➡️ 2. Shock and awe ➡️ 3. I can’t believe how fucking stupid fascism actually is 1/4

Hold the phone - you’re telling me the Part 3 recap of “The Back Story” just FINALLY dropped? I better go click the 🔗 in my bio and check it out ASAP so as to avoid ➡️ falling into a pit of distress like Brenda here

Yes, Brenda, this is exactly how I looked at you over the course of Part 2 of “The Back Story” ➡️ as you naively cozied up to the part-human, part-Camel Crush who’s OBVIOUSLY going to take advantage of you and inevitably throw you under the 18 wheels of 1/

Wow everything IRL is THE WORST but at least I can look to the BH90210 gals and lose myself in the absolute sartorial smokeshow they’re putting on this episode 🔥🔥🔥 check it out for yourself by reading my part 1 recap of “The Back Story” at the 🔗 in bio #beverlyhills90210

What the show should’ve been called. My Pt. 1 recap of “The Back Story” - one of my faves of the season, mostly because CLOTHES - coming soon. The 2nd image shows how Brenda SHOULD’VE addressed her buttinsky brother, but I’ll take any version of “shut up, Brandon Walsh” that I can get.

And if someone you love is experiencing a mental health crisis, don’t act like Jim Walsh 👇🏻#worldmentalhealthday

On this World Mental Health Day, realize that therapy is great! But maybe opt for a professional who doesn’t force you to sit awkwardly side by side as you share your tales of woe.

Three images that represent the basis of my Never Trust Anyone origin story that began at the age of 12; a belief system that’s still going strong to this day. Thanks, tv! 🔗 in bio to read all about the storyline my not-fully-formed frontotemporal lobe wasn’t ready for in ‘92

Feeling lonely? Despondent? At the end of your ever-loving rope? Never fear: my part 4 recap of “A Song of Myself” drops tomorrow night to provide you with 10ish minutes of reprieve and endorphins

Happy 35 years since the monstrosity that was Brandon’s mullet appeared on our screens in the “Pilot” episode of BH90210. Our lives were never the same from that day forward.

Donna needs a hot oil treatment; Brenda needs to get a clue➡️Dylan needs to get his filthy cheating lips and paws off Brenda➡️Kelly needs to take some goddamn accountability➡️& the character of Gil needs to have never been written in the 1st place all in my pt 3 recap of A Song of Myself @ the 🔗 in bio

My part 3 recap of “A Song of Myself” makes its diva debut tonight

Kelly’s face encapsulates my general feelings about Part 2 of “A Song of Myself” - eh - except when it comes to ➡️ Brandon’s Smarm Douche Everything, in which case ➡️ Andrea’s rightful hell-hath-no-fury face sums them up pretty tidily. Read all about it at the 🔗 in bio

Tomorrow night: take a peek at my part 2 recap of “A Song of Myself” when it drops on the blog

I don’t have kids but feel left out of posting “first day of school” pictures to the grid, so here’s my contribution. It’s their last first day of high school EVER. The tears, they flow; the time, how it’s flown (1/3)

Nikki’s face is your face after I tell you that my Part 1 recap of “A Song of Myself” hits the blog tomorrow night, so sac up and get ready to READ like 1989 Billy Dee Williams prepared you for

In my part 4 recap of Castles in the Sand, you’ll discover how to costume-change into basically the same outfit as your cheating partner, confess your own misdeeds with a very boring cardboard cutout of a man whilst traveling abroad and then…(1/2)

My part 2 recap of Castles in the Sand is ROUGH, but at least we have the soothing presence of Brenda and Donna’s friendship + their enviable beach attire to distract us from 1) wh*te nationalism; 2) shifty, lowdown cheaters; and 3) Mel Silver, Sexual Deviant DDS 🔗 in bio

Brandon’s one redeeming quality. My Part 2 recap of Castles in the Sand coming soon.

Nothing says “mAdE fOr EaCh OtHeR” like watching your dirtbag-in-arms affair partner slumber. Join me as I rage out - some more, again, forever - over this forbidden fruit of a relationship in my Pt 1 recap of Castles in the Sand 🔗 in bio #beverlyhills90210 #beverlyhills #dylanmckay #kellytaylor

No one anywhere ever should use the phrase “making love,” so hard agree Dyl-hole. I’m back in the saddle of recapping-in addition to continuing to track the downfall of the US and being sick to my stomach on the daily - & my pt. 1 synopsis of Castles in the Sand will be coming soon…ish. Stay tuned!

Had hoped that an Armageddon-style asteroid had reigned terror down upon Earth in this moment if only to relieve us of having to deal with these 2 degenerates’ non-deep, non-meaningful ~Forbidden Love~ for 2/3 of Season 3, but alas. Check my Pt 4 recap of Shooting Star/American in Paris 🔗 in bio

Coming soon! #beverlyhills90210 #beverlyhills #bh90210 #shootingstaramericaninparis

Vibes since January 20th, 2025 #beverlyhills90210 #bh90210 #beverlyhills #andreazuckerman #gabriellecarteris

I'm taking action on June 14 to remind Trump and his enablers that America has No Kings. Join me in Los Angeles to reject authoritarianism and show the world what democracy really looks like. app.sosha.ai/s/S28ivqeh

Happy Mother’s Day! From the only mom who matters #happymothersday #mothersday #jackietaylor #beverlyhills90210 #bh90210 #beverlyhills #theperfectmom

2nd picture is the only appropriate reaction to this whole nauseating display 😒 read all about my additional thoughts on the matter - THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM - in my Pt 3 recap of Shooting Star/American in Paris 🔗 in bio #beverlyhills90210 #kellytaylor #jenniegarth #dylanmckay #brendawalsh

(2/2) the Captain Obvious GHOULS posted up all over the Beach Club and each other 😒 read all about this messy little foursome in my Part 2 recap of Shooting Star / American in Paris at the 🔗 in bio #beverlyhills90210 #brendawalsh #shannendoherty #kellytaylor #dylanmckay #shootingstaramericaninparis

(1/2) I’ll take a faux-accented Brenda and Reek with his inability to turn the g*ddamn page about the potential boyfs in Brenda’s life strolling down Parisian Lane (aka The Huntington Library in San Marino) over… ➡️ #beverlyhills90210 #brendawalsh #shannendoherty #kellytaylor #dylanmckay

Happy Easter!

It’s also National Siblings Day! So if you have a sibling…please don’t do whatever the hell this is #nationalsiblingsday #beverlyhills90210 #beverlyhills #bh90210 #brandonwalsh #jasonpriestley #brendawalsh #shannendoherty