Hearing the kids outside play "tip the can" brings back some memories. All the fun and laughter really makes me feel like calling the guards

Breaking: The Pope has Dyed...... his hair after peacefully passing through another night while kicking his favourite bucket

Happy #InternationalWomensDay    to all my female followers. You're a great bunch of gals. Keep on rocking 💪

Okay here's the deal. I'm after setting up an ONLYFANS account however I'm very shy about showing my body. So what I want ye to do is use your imagination and send me a tenner. Thanks x

I could watch Groundhog Day over and over again

Remember, Ladies If a woman calls you ugly, she's jealous. If a man calls you ugly, he's a bully. If a small child calls you ugly, you're ugly

As an adult I never recreationally read a book. Then Audible came along and changed my life. There is no one size fits all when it comes to learning.

Great news: Not only has my nana been accepted into Templemore but they're giving her very own Garda branded oxygen tank

Great news: Not only has my Nana been accepted into Templemore but their giving her, her very own Gardai branded oxygen tank

Larda Síochána

Holy Shit. Who worded this headline?

You're allowed to be left-leaning and ask why a rapist was let into the country

The woke left have absolutely destroyed the latest Carry On movie There are no funny double entendres. It doesn't feature a 65 year old Sid James hilariously creeping around a 17 year old Barbara Windsor. But most importantly there are no boobs

I can't wait to go home and watch Hedley Lamarr's halftime show #SuperBowl    #SuperBowlLIX    #HalfTimeShow #halftimeshow2025

Today I saved €1.50 by buying a "Congratulations on passing your driving test, brother" instead of the traditional Valentine's card. #ValentinesDay #Valentinesday2025

I remember when my then 8-year-old asked if he should make a Valentine's Day card for Mammy. I told him he was being weird, creepy, and incestuous #ValentinesDay #Valentinesday2025

#KanyeWest account has been suspended. Christ, you can't say anything these days!

FFS some of the tabloids are reporting on the "Inappropriate" things that #ginodacampo said on Celebrity Juice, 15 years ago. That was the humour of the show. And that kind of humour was 100% acceptable back then.

I remember holding my first son for the first time after he was born and literally crying cos I knew deep down that I wasn't going to get an ounce of attention at home for at least 15 years

You can't claim to be a defender of women and child and still support a rapist. It doesn't work that way

Before Jesus did the Lord's work, he trained to be a carpenter. This was a shrewd choice as there wasn't much demand for electricians at the time

I'm confused. Where did #BiancaCensori keep all her pictures of Cork City? #GRAMMYs    #Grammys2025

When Kanyes wife wears that "Outfit" at the #GRAMMYs    she's celebrated however when I wear the same "Outfit" I get barred from my local SuperValu #Grammys2025

Why on earth are Facebook and Google pestering me with ads for sexy lingerie for women? I hardly ever wear sexy lingerie for women

Ladies, 'Mansplaining' is short for Man Explaining

What would be the most polite way to tell your 12 year old son that he's jokes are kinda lame?

Lads, can I please remind you all that 'Hump Day' means the day that's half way through the week. Don't let your wife trick you into believing it means something else. I'm exhausted and late for work 😢

Bradley Walsh: Take your time *A nanosecond later* Bradley Walsh: I need an answer! #TheChase

I'm heading to Majorca on my holidays this may. While I'm gone could anyone here please feed a cat, wife & 2 kids? x

Holy Shit, I don't even have my homework done

Y'know when someone posts a picture and says "If you know, you know" In most cases, I don't know

Irish American Mcgregor supporters are by far the worst kind of stupid people

Tonight the Mrs and I had huge argument over the only charger in the house. She said she wanted it to charge her phone so she could ring her elderly Dad during the storm. And I tried to calmy explain that I needed to charge my Samsung Galaxy nail clippers. 😠 #StormEowyn

Did someone say storm cans? I'm pretty sure someone said storm cans. #StormEowyn

For safety reasons I won't be collecting my wife & kids from shopping tonight. The strong winds & torrential rain would make it too dangerous for me to drive on the south link & tweet at the same time. For that reason it would safer for them to walk the 3km journey #StormÉowyn

I'm currently preparing for #StormEowyn by tieing my skinny child to my fat child.

Here we have a vile racist Brit pictured with Nigel Farage

Before the British fighter could enter #Trumps pre-inauguration rally he had to provide evidence that he lost a r*pe case

The year is 2025, we can send a rocket into space and successfully bring it back and parallel park it, yet toilet bowls are still built to act as very loud fart megaphones

Michael Healy Rae to be appointed Junior Minister of Kerry vs those who think they're better than us up in Dublin

Someone recently told me that I had a book in me. The security guard at Easons

I don't like to get emotional but 4 years ago today I asked my best friend to marry me. My then girlfriend was absolutely livid. But me & Alan had the best 12 days on the beer. We then sobered up and got divorced.

My Wife: Will we go to Centre Parcs Longford for a week on our holiday this year? Me: Ah come on, we are getting a new kitchen this year & things are tight as it is. Can we please save money & just go to Disney World Florida for 3 weeks instead?

I would suggest those who think the media were exaggerating the weather warnings just go to North Cork but unfortunately, they can't cos it's currently going through some sort of Ice Age

Would they stop guessing music legends. Like you can be sure to fuck, that Sir Paul McCartney isn't going to dress up like a kebab on #TheMaskedSinger

What's the difference between a Snow man and a Snow woman? Snow Balls. For more weather based gems like this make sure to follow The Cork Coypu on Bluesky #sneacta #Coldwave #snow

Without sounding too hysterical, I'm willing to do mouth stuff for a sliced pan and butt stuff for a 2 litre of milk #sneacta #Coldwave #snow

I always try to ease myself into January as smoothly as possible. Week 1: I'm back to work Week 2: I give up weeknight drinking Week 3: I give up junk food And by week 4 I'm out of my pj's and no longer smoking crack #NewYear #backtowork

Any time I tell my wife that I'm tired she always cheers me up by telling me that she's way more tired

I will not be accepting any New Year wishes until at least 11.55pm Thank you #NewYear2025 #NewYear #HappyNewYear