good morning folks guess whose insomnia flared up last night so has not slept in over 24 hours

found out my dad made fun of my shorts to my sister the other day siri play backstabber by kesha 😔

when i woke up this morning for some reason my first thought was “i bet wally west loved the cup song from pitch perfect”

my therapist said maybe i should talk about how i feel more and i said “what if i just ran away into the woods instead?” and she said that was also an option so au revoir friends omw to buy several gallons of bug spray and then disappear

i’m convinced that people over 6’4” only exist at concerts

why is my mother in france

wine-drunk and thinking about roy harper #royharpermybeloved

my life would probably be so much better in almost every way imaginable if i took more things as seriously as i just did while trying to decide how jason todd would answer if he was asked who his favorite poet was

i said on wednesday i was pretty sure this chapter of the fic i’m working on was gonna be over 5k words and i just broke 7k and still have another scene i want to write so like. i wasn’t wrong but i may have underestimated a tad bit

my life would probably be so much better in almost every way imaginable if i took more things as seriously as i just did while trying to decide how jason todd would answer if he was asked who his favorite poet was

yk i relate to kon-el a lot because i was also created in a lab and one of my parents is evil

just remembered that once i slid into someone’s dms and sent a picture of a broom and said “don’t mind me. just trying to sweep you off of your feet” trying to flirt with them and IT WORKED

should i be offended that i’m at the doctor’s and the nurse seemed surprised my blood pressure was really good

there should be a subreddit called r/WouldItBeWeirdIf where you can just get reassurance about if it would be weird if you did certain things

i may be stupid

do you think hbo max is trying to tell me something

guy whose primary motivation for doing everything he does is either “i’m bored” or “for the plot”: why am i always In Situations

i’m gonna ask if i can keep my wisdom teeth after i get them removed and make matching jewelry for me and my three best friends

just remembered the time i found out my friend’s boyfriend didn’t know what a root vegetable was and since i was drunk i got way more stressed about it than the situation really called for

genuinely so funny that these are the only two websites my phone has ever decided that i “visit often”

yet another cringey phrase i use all the time has been adapted into one of my friend’s vernacular!!

my sister just said “oh my god ren did you know there’s a shark called a goblin shark” as if there could be a creature called a goblin shark and i Wouldn’t know about it ??

they call me “the shark” because of how smooth i am with the ladies

my sister is trying to talk me into asking my dad to take us to chili’s tonight so he can be our DD and we can get “white girl wasted”

sorry i called your boyfriend autistic do you still like me

just started saying “well, the first time i died” and then started laughing too hard to finish the sentence because jfc what an absurd thing to be able to say

currently sitting on my sister’s bedroom floor forcing her to listen to massachusetts by ylvis while she reads a twitter thread about dean being a better character than sam and she’s getting increasingly more annoyed because she’s a Sam Girl

whenever i go to set a timer on my phone for some reason it defaults to 17 hours and 50 minutes

people get so worried when i get drunk and lay on the floor babygirl when i lay on the floor that means i’m having a great time. you should be worried if i Don’t lay on the floor

i was talking to my dad about jason todd and he went “eh i don’t know much about him” and i went “didn’t you grow up reading the batman comics?” and he said “yeah but eventually i started actually dating girls and didn’t care as much” and. okay ouch

transferring my period cramps to him

yk sometimes it’s really hard watching house md and trying not to think about how expensive the patient’s medical bill is going to end up being

i’ve gotten four more tattoos since this btw

we got another one

i knew i should’ve brought a book to work fml

first date idea: we both go get vaccinated together and you hold my hand bc i’m scared of needles

can artists maybe start giving more of a heads up when their tour tickets are going to go on sale

i figured out why my life has been so stupid and weird. it’s so i have enough material for a career in standup comedy

i literally set a timer for how long ao3 is supposed to be down and i keep checking it like “okay. only 6 hours, 34 minutes, and 26 seconds until it’s back up” i can do this

every once in a while i remember that i both came out as nonbinary and told my friends that my parents were splitting up by texting our group chat “hey everybody. i’m not a girl. i’m not a boy. i’m a

just bought tickets to see dust bunny for a FOURTH TIME no one look at me

i keep forgetting about this app :/

proud to be everyone’s smartest dumb friend

me, re-reading something i wrote and noticing all the grammatical errors:

nobody asked but it was BOY CRAZY.

cannot believe i just spent two hours making a hannigram edit to a kesha song (not cannibal)

knocked on my sister’s door and she immediately went “i don’t want to talk about superbat or hannibal” like alright man i do care about a few other things

feeling particularly rizzless rn