[[You Know]] I WAS SMALL ONCE THEN I [[Found]] THESE [[10 wacky steps]] TO MAKE IT BIG! [[Number]] [[Will surprise you!]]

[[Look, Ma, I’m on]] ALL AGES APPROPRIATE [[National Television!]] DISGUSTING! [[Absolute]]LY VILE BEHAVIOR

WHAT KIND OF [[Magic Trick]] IS THIS?? DOESN’t MATT3R, KID! I’VE READ EVERY [[Trick in the book]]! [[Vanishing Acts]], [[Card Tricks]], YOU NAME IT!

IT’S SO QUIET

JUST LIKE THAT [[Trash Heap]], CLINGING TO THE PAST FOR ANY GLIMPSE OF RELEVANCY …I suppose I had a [[Struggling with Type 2 Diabetes?]]

[[Post removed by moderator for violating TOS]]

EVERYONE KNOWS g IS THE BEST LETTER IN THE [[Internet]]

YOU LEAVE FOR [[Three to Five Business Days]] AND SUDDENLY THE WHOLE WORLD MOVES ON WITHOUT YOU [[No matter!]] I’LL JUST GET BACK UP AND SHOW YOU ALL I’M STILL THE [[Number 1 Rated Salesman1997]]

[[Mike]] LOOK AT ME NOW! I’M [[Back or Shoulder Pain?]] WITH ALL NEW CONTENT ON [[Your Favorite Streaming Services!]] NO [[Buggy Game]] CAN KEEP ME DOWN FOR LONG

[[Silksong Tomorrow]]? [[SILKSONG TOMORROW]]?? WHY WOULD ANYONE CARE ABOUT THAT WHEN THEY COULD JUST GIVE [[Meee!!]] THEIR [[Kromer]] INSTEAD??

DON’T BOTHER SELLING YOUR [[Soul]] WHEN IT’S IN SUCH [[LowDemand]]

PULL YOURSELF UP BY THE [[Silly Strings]]

BEHOLD!! THE SMOOTH TASTE OF [[Capitalism]]

I… need to go. Until next time.

I don’t like this feeling.

I think that was ill-advised.

I think

Good night, everyone.

I suppose you might have questions for me. I suppose I may be able to answer some of them when I wake up. So why don’t you ask them now, and when I’m a little more rested, I’ll see what answers I can give?

Nine days, for one night. It seems like a fair trade, doesn’t it? Not too much to ask. And in the morning, I might be in a better state to tell you all about what I’ve found.

Here’s what I think I’m going to do. I am in no state to be up and about right now, much less talking here. Whatever I’ve been dreaming of, it seems to have taken a toll. So, I think it’s fair to try and have one night of real sleep.

It’s been nine days. Quite a while to be asleep, if you ask me. Especially quite a while to be asleep and to still wake up exhausted. But still, I am awake enough to see. It’s been nine days. Why did I not realize sooner?

I remember now.

I MISS HOW THINGS [[New OR Used]] TO BE

EVERYONE COULD USE A LITTLE MORE [[CripplingDebt]] IN THEIR LIVES!

WE DON’T TALK ABOUT 1998

WE HAVE [[Sweet]] DEALS [[Soft]] DEALS [[Sour]] DEALS [[Salty]] DEALS [[Pain]] DEALS [[Cold]] DEALS SO JUST [[Buy, buy, BUY!]]

LET’S MAKE A [[Reel or no Reel]] YOU [[Teach a man to fish]] AND I WILL [[Annoying Minigame]]

LET’S MAKE A [[Seal or no Seal]] YOU GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR [[Seal]] AND I WILL [[Seal]]

LET’S MAKE A [[Deal or No deal]] YOU GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR [[Moneys]] AND I GIVE YOU THE [[Once in a lifetime]] OPPORTUNITY TO [[Unpaid Labor]]

NOW WHO’S THIS [[Handsome Fellow!]] YOU SHOULD [[Like&Subscribe]] RIGHT NOW!!

[[Did you know that you, yes YOU, can participate in a once in a lifetime experience? All it takes is two clicks to sign up, and a liability waiver, and you have your ticket to be a part of the studio audience for Spamton G. Spamton’s debut on live television!! Only on Mr. (Ant) Tenna’s TV Time!]]

LOOK DEEP ENOUGH [[Into the Darkness]] AND MAYBE you CAN SEE INTO [[HEAVEN]] FALL DEEP ENOUGH AND MAYBE YOU’LL FINALLY SNAP THE [[Silly Strings]] KEEPING YOU TR4PPED IN THE SKY

HOW COULD YOU FORGET? IT’S BIGSHOTS LIKE ME THAT MAKE [[THE WORLD REVOLVING]] YOU CAN’T DO THIS WITHOUT ME I [[Promise]] YOU CAN’T

NOT NOW [[Sans]] I’M MAKING [[Hyperlink Blocked]]

THE ONLY MAGIC YOU NEED IS THE MAGIC OF [[Cash Prizes!]]

I’M SO TIRED

That’s enough from me. Can’t overdo it, not yet at least. Good night.

The jester fell ill. Lost his mind. Perhaps the same has happened to me. But I’ve been waking up now, and strangely I’ve been feeling as though… maybe things didn’t turn out as badly as it seems? …do you want anything from me? I suppose I won’t get an answer, at least not before I fall back asleep.

Then of course that fell apart, and after the affair with the Lightners, I started remembering less and less. Flashes here and there. Waking up in a daze in an old dumpster with a headache, before falling right back asleep. And now this.

I suppose that’s why I found the old magician so interesting. He didn’t want anything from me. And when I had nowhere else to turn, he gave me hope. Introduced me to his friend the jester. He was charming, and kind to me. Slowly, I began to wonder if he truly was not trying to get something from me.

I was hated, yes. But it’s funny how easily people put aside their hatred when they need things from you. There were so many people willing to believe anything I told them if only I would give them what they needed. That was just how it worked. Foolish to think they would believe me otherwise.

It’s hard to keep track of time sometimes. It feels like it’s been days, or maybe only minutes. In any case… it’s good to see you again. If anyone can see this, though that doesn’t really matter to me. Not right now.

Good evening all. Or maybe good morning?

TOMORROW I’LL TRY AGAIN TOMORROW

COMING SOON TO A [[Number 1 Rated Salesman1997]] NEAR YOU

meow

SPAMTON G SPAMTON SAYS [[Trans Rights]]

[[Find Her]]? MORE LIKE [[Kill Her]] SAVINGS AT SPAMTON G. SPAMTON’S [[$4.99]] EMPORIUM

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?? I MADE YOU [[Big]]!! YOU NEED ME. YOU HAVE TO [[Need me.]] AND I NEED [[You]]. SO DON’T YOU DARE