People who don’t return their shopping carts to the cart corral just endorsed Cuomo.

Hope he puts in a dope Bathroom Attendant station for Mike Johnson. “Mint sir? Some cologne?””Sir, you should really wash your hands… sir?”

He has the best number for US presidents who have been US Presidents since Jan 21st 2025. Can’t take that accomplishment away from him.

Steelers tonight be like “peep our sweet jerseys”

Nero fiddled as Rome burned Trump does a 2 handed jerkoff dance as the U.S. suffers. Good times

I’m now convinced he didn’t join in on storming of the capitol because of the stairs.

HSI official: “This morning’s operation took them down quicker than the East Wing of the White House.”

….With the exception of the crime family at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. They get a pass.

He looks like a pimple that needs to be popped.

Same guy bragged about having the tallest building in NYC right after the Twin Towers fella in 9/11.

Biden’s Secret Service thought it would be fine for JFK to ride in an open top convertible thru Dallas because it “looked cool”

Should totally go after the President responsible for the events of Jan. 6…..

If you wondered what Goodwill did with that box of your dead grandpas clothes, hat & blue blockers sunglasses you donated look no further……

Ironically it’s these dicks that make it necessary for me to take Tylenol.

Bold strategy Cotton. www.huffpost.com/entry/alex-j...

Dr. Acula #DrsITrustMoreThanRFKJr

Closed caption has an easy job today “wheeze, death rattle breathing, garbled noise, rocks in a garbage disposal”

Handing our healthcare over to someone who sounds like they have a foot in the grave. Be like sober me tossing my keys to a drunk man to drive me home.

“Look at this photograph, it’s a tyrant walking with an ass.”

You’d think based on how these idiots talk about this that gas pours out of a gas can like ketchup out of a glass bottle.

Can only imagine the wide eyes, throat slits and mouthing “change the topic” being done by the guys behind the camera while Trump spills tea

Check out the forehead sweat on Marco. Dude sold his soul & spine and pays it back 24 hours a day

No one ever talks about how Alzheimer’s is good cause it makes you forget about bad stuff that happened in your life.

Give them a call!!!

South Park…. Do your thing.

“Brain-gone”

Wear more makeup then a clown, expect circus clown music when you speak

Be a shame if we left tips that weren’t honest on Laura Loom’s new stupid tip line for federal workers to report anti Trump shit. Just reported Bert & Ernie teaching woke items like counting and the alphabet. loomered.com/tip-line/

DOGe, six Big Balls.

Four Score and Seven Fucking Years Ago…… #TrumpCursingPrez

So “Hang Mike Pence” on Jan 6 is patriotism or upset voters” but “86 47” is a threat to Cheeto? Give me a break. #MagaRMorons

dear reader, there are 195 countries in the world

gonna have to head to the Tylenol aisle at the grocery to get this gibberish sentence out of my head.

"Pirro never served as a federal prosecutor, or in any role at all in the DOJ. She was the elected district attorney in Westchester County, New York, and served as a county judge for three years during the ‘90s, although she does not appear to have practiced law at all in the past two decades."

At this point, should I just submit my tax filing directly to Elon?

Anyone else mute Kevin Hart commercials? Like his comedy but every other commercial is him yelling shit. Damn dude, guess Jumanji residuals ain’t paying the bills

30 years as a firefighter; but my experience pales in comparison to these newly crowned Internet experts in regards to the tragedy unfolding in LA. Asshats

Kenny Rogers “The Gambler” is the first usage of vocal fry in a song.

Netflix: “we have Ravens vs. Texans + Beyoncé” ESPN: Fck it, we have the 2020 Mullet Championship

The dog picked up a nasty habit to help get her thru 2025. Not sure I’m ok with this.

C’mon followers, get me to 1,000 new follower this Xmas. Let’s gooo

Hockey dad life.

Me od’ing on antihistamines during peak allergy season

Me od’ing on antihistamines during peak allergy season

I got 99 followers… c’mon, get me triple digits!!!

Don’t name your classic vehicle. “This here is Ol’ Blue” No it’s not, it’s a beat to sh*t 72 Ford. #DeepThoughts

11 years ago today our families trajectory changed when my kid was giving a hockey stick at an open skate night by a college student. Now…. I. Am. Hockey. Dad. Who can’t skate.

Making sure my earbuds are charged for the weekend kiddo hockey game to drown out SPORT parents incessant screaming.

Worst thing to buy on Black Friday is….. #BlackFriday