I'm thoroughly mentally exhausted. 2 months of this will do that to a motherfucker. At least the semester's over and I have the chance to relax now.

I want to see her again. I'm scared that I'll never get to talk to her again, even in a neutral environment. I'm scared to lose any chance of reconnecting at all. I still miss her. I still want to be friends with her. I genuinely feel more alone now than I have in years.

I don't like being part of the male loneliness epidemic.

Even if I'm not ready to, our friend circles keep getting closer. Not to say I don't want her back in my life, I absolutely do. But I don't want to be pulled back in before I'm ready.

I realized that because of everyone finishing the semester and moving out, it's gonna get a lot lonelier and emptier around here real soon. And last time I was in this situation was when I moved into my apartment, but back then I at least had her to help fill the silence. I don't anymore.

The male urge to go out like Capitano from Genshin

It's still a few months out but honestly I'm not even excited for my birthday this year anymore.

Ugh goddammit the last 2 days were actually alright for me but today is a low one again Why can't progress be linear I don't want to feel hurt anymore

Welp. Looks like I have to be a shoulder for someone else now. My time to process and hurt is over. This year has been shit for all involved parties.

Just took a shower. Really helped clear my mind. And I need to keep 3 things in mind: 1. I think I'll be okay. It's exactly what I started telling myself a few weeks ago. 2. Her red flags. 3. What am I looking forward to and when are they happening?

I don't want to die. But I can't live like this anymore.

my YT feed decided to kick me while I'm down tonight. youtu.be/7fCz3VccvY4

This is what the male loneliness epidemic sounds like. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Se2C...

I'm just lonely at this point.

I feel alone. I have friends and family and an amazing support network. But I still feel alone.

I want to care for her again I want to see that she liked sad things on insta and then rush to her side to comfort her when she’s down I miss what we had.

I don't know for certain but I have a feeling our paths are gonna cross again soon I just don't know if I'm ready for it.

I'm giving myself one thing: I'm a perceptive motherfucker. Even though I was wrong before, but anyone would've gotten that wrong.

I'm going to move on I'm going to be fine But I'm still going to miss her.

I just met up with Varka in Genshin If only I could celebrate this with her, she loved him ;-;

I'm not okay. But at least I'm safe.

I genuinely hate this. I just want her back in my life again. I wish what we had was real.

I had a dream about this all. I was talking with my mom. How the last time I asked someone out, it didn't hurt me nearly as much as this. Wish she was still around too, she was cool. That was 3 years ago now. How come I can't find love? Why does nobody want me?

I miss you so much.

I was listening to radiohead while folding laundry earlier. I always listen to music while folding laundry. Put on a 1hr mix. About halfway through, Let Down came on and it brought out everything I had been holding in. Literally dropped to my knees holding a shirt and sobbed into the side of my bed.

I just want to go back to a year ago, when all we were was friends. Before I got attached to her. That's the dynamic I want to rebuild to.

I can't relax. Every time I try my brain is like "Do you really deserve this? relaxing gets you nowhere." I don't deserve this. This level of constant overthinking isn't healthy for me. But my brain is right. Relaxing doesn't get things fixed.

I just don't know how to go about this.

I can't remember what it feels like to be loved by her. But I still want to feel it. And because of that it's just... empty.

She messed with my head, man...

I'm having another rough morning. I'm going for a nice long walk. Hopefully that helps me clear my mind.

I want to open my DMs with her and just scroll back for months because I genuinely loved how cute she was with me months ago I know now it was only ever platonic teasing from her but I still miss feeling like there was a girl who was into me ;;

I guess the reason I'm still so caught up on this is because I really did love her. I wish she loved me right back. We would've been so cute together. It would've been amazing to be her boyfriend. Probably would've been one of the biggest honors of my life.

I am in Hell, looking at Heaven.

Genuinely this is the worst thing to have happened to me since the end of the pandemic

I wish she knew just how much I’ve cried over her these past few weeks.

I don't know what I need anymore.

I just want her back in my life again...

I need a hug.

It's just an endless emptiness. I wish none of this ever happened. I miss her so much.

I'm just hurting. There's no other way to describe it.

I told myself that 2 weeks to grieve would be all the time I'd give myself. I think I need more than that.

Even if we were to reconnect right this instant, this hole in my life might be too big for her to fill alone.

I think this whole thing created deep trust issues for me. Because if she was creating the dynamic a lot of the time and then I play off of it and then she reciprocates, and then at the end she says there was never any connection, can I really trust that in others anymore?

I haven't been eating well.

So how this account works: Any venting from my main account (@davidnightjet.bsky.social) posted BEFORE April 22, 2026 gets reposted here. If it's a thread, the first one gets reposted. Any venting AFTER that date is only posted here.