That one kid in high school who rode a motorcycle & whose parents no one ever met grew up to be skeleton guy.

It’s every 4 years that you get sentences like this & they make perfect sense. An often overlooked, but exquisite element of the Olympics.

Is Lewandowski using the blanket to cover Noem’s face? Is it the other way around? I’m confused.

Fucking wild times when “RFK jr cocaine toilet seat” is a Google autocomplete

Pam Bondi belongs near the top of the list. How the members of Trump’s regime continue to find ways to out do one another is unlike anything I’ve ever seen.

Maybe I’m late to the game, but has the notion that b/c Savannah Guthrie works for NBC the Trump regime isn’t concerned about her mother’s disappearance? Not that I believe Kash Patel is capable of leading a thorough investigation, but still. Feels like the kind of spiteful shit they would do.

Bawitdabullshit

Just prepping some white cheddar popcorn, cauliflower, ranch, white bread, egg whites, white beans & saltines for my Super Bowl party. It’s a big day. Maybe some chicken - white meat only, of course. I don't know, I don't know if I’ll have enough time.

Probation officers & ankle monitors in anticipation of Kid Rock’s halftime show.

I’m equally as impressed with the Olympic drone pilots as I am the athletes.

The absence of wood paneling, ashtrays & AC/DC in the background makes this feel too much like a sport.

There’s no telling how much wilder Trump’s posts are going to get now that he knows he can blame an unnamed staffer & get away with it.

Men when we have a sinus infection:

Typing up his arrest reports on a vintage typewriter while listening to Bon Iver.

Trump continues to give his supporters legitimate opportunities to withdraw said support. Anyone willing to look the other way regarding this one can be appropriately classified.

If all your friends were injecting their penises with hyaluronic acid to improve their performances on jumps, would you do it too?

In the United States we have a president that watches too much TV & that’s not ranked anywhere near the top on the list of his deficiencies.

12 year old me in ‘92 making my uber catholic parents listen to Apocalypse 91... The Enemy Strikes Black

I can’t explain it, but he looks like someone who eats a baked potato for lunch everyday.

Trump: We’re going door to door & punching everyone in the United States in the face once a week. Schumer: Televise it.

Send Samuel L Jackson in to start asking these questions.

It’s impossible to have bought a Tesla before Elon went crazy.

Promises made. Promises kept.

The All American Halftime Show CELEBRATING FAITH, FAMILY, & FREEDOM Google the lyrics to Kid Rock’s “Wax The Booty” 🤌🤌🤌

Can we refer to Trump’s shart as a Slopadopolus?

In response to highly overrated Bruce Springsteen’s new single Trump releases “Sweet Home Mar-a-Lago”

Trump is planning on an 85 year old Lee Greenwood’s performance to “surpass anything that has taken place”

Who’s going to fall on the sword for adding J. David McSwane to the signal chat?

HBD, Pauly Shore

So fucking stupid that the death of one of the funniest women that’s ever lived doesn’t get the attention it deserves because the dumb shit president takes the oxygen out of the entire god damn planet.

Trump has seen Melania on screen more than he’s seen her in person this year.

The constant need for diversions & deflections must be exhausting for the 3 people in the Trump regime that might actually be ethical.

Never mind the jobs you had, tell me five classes you took in college Goldeneye on N64 Hallucinogens Live Music Binge Drinking Acting Invincible

Weirdly had the urge to google Antisocial Personality Disorder symptoms

With a straight face - ask him to call a coin flip. You can’t.

DC cops announcing they’ll start handing out tickets to the Melania movie rather than traffic tickets & traffic related offenses plummet.

9:00 PM PRESIDENT sends out unhinged TRUTH SOCIAL post about how MELANIA should’ve been cast as CLARICE STARLING in THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS

Even the hats?

Now do RFK Jr playing Russian roulette & watch those numbers quadruple.

Bovino sits down for his exit interview

No one will ever say the Greg Bovino left big shoes to fill.

I read the first 6 words “Dave Portnoy announces end of Barstool” & got way too excited.

Can’t spell Greg Bovino without gringo

At Denny’s, babe? Really?!?!