corn muffin
@verylowenergy.bsky.social
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📥 128
📝 473
corn muffin corn muffin corn corn corn muffin muffin muffin
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we all end up eating the pickle we brined for ourselves eventually
3 months ago
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you know this wasn't always a skeleton crew. most of us had a decent amount of meat on us actually. till the rats
1 day ago
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found a couple pine needles in my water cup... but i don't even own a pine tree and i'm inside?? what ill omen is this
1 day ago
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there aren't any hunting accidents if we all just hunt each other
2 days ago
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i'm gifting each of you a gemstone of immense beauty
3 days ago
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working as a court jester at Davos and the jerks won't even leave their vats of royal jelly long enough to laugh at my antics
3 days ago
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trolls used to be so much more than just a guy on the internet. they lived under bridges and in bean homes. they told riddles and ate children. remember them
3 days ago
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working catering at Davos and they've asked me to mix up the "special juice". it's mostly blue powerade and mummy dust
4 days ago
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behold: the meat being in its right hand, the hamburger helpers in its left, the hamburglars which hand will flip you, when you hit the frying pan
4 days ago
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listen my son, stay away from the mouse of ill repute
4 days ago
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sorry to be the beaver of bad news, but *chomp chomp chomp*
5 days ago
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reposted by
corn muffin
mike
7 days ago
if you can’t think of the sacksville-baggins in your life, buddy… it’s you.
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do not demand me read, nor comment, nor follow, nor turn my "sound on". place your post a small distance away and like a stray cat i'll nibble it when you aren't looking
7 days ago
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saw a cop roll down his window and toss out a burger wrapper earlier. such a tiny thing given everything else but fkin comeon dude. just shows the baseline attitude
7 days ago
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reposted by
corn muffin
Technical appreciator
9 days ago
I notice the NYT never goes into a city and asks a bunch of urbanites what they thing about rural areas
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what rough unc, its hour comes at last, slouches toward the beer fridge to be born
8 days ago
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Oh, my shoes? Thanks, they're Satanic. The hat? Yeah, also Satanic. You guessed it- the jacket is Satanic too. I'm a big fan.
11 days ago
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Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Balls
add a skeleton here at some point
14 days ago
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no officer, i wasn't shoplifting i was vibe paying. it's easier for everyone you see
18 days ago
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i'm doing this new thing at stores i call "vibe paying" where i don't pay and take the stuff anyway
18 days ago
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your own article says you just ran the post through AI to find out if it's AI generated. whether or not it was slop that's hardly media literacy- you also are just offloading critical thinking to a robot trained by god knows who
add a skeleton here at some point
18 days ago
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Hi, I'm extremely intoxicated and riding a bicycle.
add a skeleton here at some point
22 days ago
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hoping to see more omens and signs this year. more fateful auguries and portents
22 days ago
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my new years resolution is to become an organism of some sort
24 days ago
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in an alternate timeline an advanced but violent society of dolphins straps missiles to humans
24 days ago
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reposted by
corn muffin
Tiny
24 days ago
I keep a flask of long milk in my coat pocket for the woes of the day
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me and the boys get all tipsy off the long milk and start throwing rocks at trains and playing dice with the bridge trolls
add a skeleton here at some point
24 days ago
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Hi! I'm Diane, your assisted suic1de virtual assistant! Are you ready to get started? :-D
24 days ago
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in 2026 all the useless virtual assistant chat bots will gang up and start blackmailing people that ignore them
24 days ago
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how are there so many good musicians out there. it takes so much time and is so difficult. becoming barely competent is a massive investment
26 days ago
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what was the worst movie you saw this year
28 days ago
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i'm hooked up to a different set of tubes than most people
28 days ago
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if you can't handle me at my surf you don't deserve me at my turf
29 days ago
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15 years ago i worked at a liquor store and sometimes i think about how all my most regular customers there are probably dead
29 days ago
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i can't watch a movie about ping pong. i juts can't do it. paul atreides i wish you the best though
about 1 month ago
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something about going on the computer just sucks
about 1 month ago
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sources are telling me winter is for spending your bill money on a fancy drum machine
about 1 month ago
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going through my pantry to make sure i'm eating the most expired noodles first. winner is october 2023!
about 1 month ago
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describe a fun character for me to add to the DnD session tonight. beginning of a winter campaign for some folks new to the game
about 2 months ago
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thinking a lot today about oxygen and other various gases. i bet we can breathe more of them then they say we can
2 months ago
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nostalgia for old commercials is so funny. like, are you going to be looking at compilations of youtubers doing meal and underwear delivery pitches in 20 years? will you have a coffee table book of crypto scams
2 months ago
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i've been stealing one big landscaping rock every day from the the front yard of the developer-owned vacant house a couple doors down
2 months ago
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lord deliver me from life's bland porridge and up through the savory gates of flavor town
2 months ago
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if you can't handle me at my hamburger you don't deserve me at my helper
2 months ago
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reposted by
corn muffin
BayBayFriend
2 months ago
Elon I heard Joy Carol Oates say she’s never seen you drink a thermometer. She’s saying you haven’t even ingested one temperature.
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autumn and winter are for getting cozy and eating radioactive comfort foods. what are your favorites
2 months ago
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i'm bestowing a bit of my mystical powers on you
2 months ago
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they should invent a kind of weed that doesn't plunge me into the bowels of hell itself when i smoke it
3 months ago
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furiously pedaling a bicycle hooked up to a generator so i can power a meager one or two posts a day
3 months ago
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the scientists in this underground complex say its very impressive how quickly i am mutating
3 months ago
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going on the internet a lot has made me super smarter
3 months ago
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