bowling is a rogue like

when ur tryna aura farm with the one liner for the chick fil a baddie but u lowkirk almost forget ur drink

so drunk i think i coudl talk to a woman

everyone talks about reducing phone time but no one talks about how hard that is in an office

some of yall are hella condescending but dont even realize it

i wish dreams had blacklists

sore from bowling #Almost30

i fear things you would never guess

ur unemployed and dont wanna hang out #nooticing

i be protective of the homies

lowkey boutta piss myself in the Toyota Corolla 2005 LE

valentines day bar crawl with my best friend. despite being cripplingly single maybe this life aint so bad

everyone says they fw me but i think we have different definitions

JUST PLAY YOUR FUCKING MAIN GOD

going to h mart is chill cus i can pass until someone tries to speak to me

i'm the michael scott of mdva

man i'm ngl i kinda don't like dogs they are cute but holy fuck they're just idiots like actual buffoons

why

why

we had an applicant come in today whose name was Jason Flooring. Jason Flooring my name is Jason Flooring tears down my face we fucking thought he was a flooring company

i'm the marty supreme of mdva redemption brackets

we be talking sexual style to each other when theres no girls

mdva melee got the transest of transfems dapping eachother up and the straightest dudes you've ever seen dropping :3's all over what a beautiful place

NEVER STOP MANIFESTING

idk how to feel i think my heart has frozen or maybe fell out

yea idk

i hate twitter as much as the next jit but man is it more fun to use, this shit is like slack vs discord

anyone on pokemmo aha ha

sometimes it's like FUCK why did i use that emoji

gods strongest yearner

please be something please be something please be something

going to the dispensary early is like in chowder when the lights went out in marzipan and all the weirdos came out

i hate dating apps bro your name is NOT Jephanie

when me and bros gym convos get leaked

surely the repeated eye contact means something

man maybe im just tired & grumpy

i'm being himbofied by my coworkers

if you call yourself a man and you consider yourself my friend i expect you to speak up in that situation, intoxicated or not. just my $0.02

pov ur texting ur coworker about an applicant but she doesnt pass the initial test

i am feeling emotions and i will deal with said emotions to the best of my ability!

my best friend acknowledged that i am his best friend too, i think we're gay now?

when someone doesnt follow me back on twitter i make a voodoo doll of them and feed it to the groundhog that lives under our deck

pam irreparably damaged public perception towards receptionists this shit is so lit

buhh buhhh

bought a vape i will use 10% of it then give it away again

thats my dawggg

theres nothing like a candid side pic to get me to do cardio again

someone hacked into my ichungas account

what one (1) mikes harder does to an mf

i just took a shit now im poundin on my jit