Coming out of my cage And I'm doing not great I was just in a cage (I was just in a cage)

nah, i'm pretty sure it's the killing people part that's the worst

Oh shit waddup

okay that's most of the rum unpacked

are you there, god? it's me, my namea jeff

COMING SOON: AI + Guy™

Polyamorous folks can and do enjoy tasering your own balls and they’re still polyamorous because tasering your own balls is inherently aphobic

made chilli with actual dried chillies and stuff it's pretty great. It's probably mild for anyone except me.

do you think god stays in heaven because he too wants to make a deal with kate bush and get her to swap their places?

is there a better feeling than when you're on a bike and there's a huge queue of cars behind you because it's a narrow road and they can't overtake yeah fuck you, carpilled seethemaxxers. bikecels stay winning

You bolt awake in the mountains of Carthage. You are not online. It is 217BC. You are the general Hannibal, and you have changed your mind. The future cannot come to pass. Rome must burn.

good news: my cabinets arrived bad news: now I need to hire a handyman to lift the top halves because they're fucking huge

I bought this "tompouce shot liqueur" (tompouce is a dutch cream slice) as a joke it tastes of sugar but more interestingly, it tastes a lot like cream despite not being a cream liqueur. I wonder if it can do work as a way to add that cream flavour to things where actual dairy would curdle.

guy: hey i think i figured out a formula for posts on here other guy: what guy: you just put a non sequitur at the end. that's all you do other guy: [elongates cock]

A trans teen in Iowa completed suicide after severe bullying by classmates and teachers. "Miles’ death came a day after a substitute teacher refused to use his preferred pronouns." It's the type of bullying @thefireorg.bsky.social and @aricohn.com support. www.thepinknews.com/2025/11/17/m...

being a delivery service and having your update be "package delivered to neighbour" with no further information should be punishable by death

What To Know About ‘Pluribus’ https://theonion.com/what-to-know-about-pluribus/

okay apparently discord likes to send people notifications sometimes if you change your status and because I'm a 13 year old girl at heart in their MSN messenger song lyric posting era forever, someone DM'd me with "hi uhh are you gonna kill yourself because I just got a notification"

if youre trans and youre struggling to justify why you as a person should be allowed to take up space in the universe just consider that by your sheer existence you make a lot of the worst people on earth mad enough that they will die early deaths from stress. so thats a p good reason

the "set up fee" here is enough for multiple years worth of hrt and they don't even include medication. unreal

happy transgender day of remembrance thank you for sticking around in the hardest of times. if you haven't, you are missed dearly please live 💜

I am going to create an environment that is so chili-maxxed

No, trans people will not vote for an avowed transphobe, because what's "the Trans Issue" to you is our very rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Party rocking is the weaponization of ethics in gaming journalism

Morning.

shoutout to the ikea delivery men who did not question why I, a grown adult homeowner ordering 350kg of ikea furniture, am watching the disney channel at 3pm (it's for language practice I promise)

Honestly, what makes someone more patriotic? Fighting to stay in a country you've found yourself in, or being born here accidentally & hating every second of it because there are more Muslims than those 1980's sit-coms had you believe?

with Marjorie Taylor Greene being kind of a whack job and magic the gathering rolling every IP it can into the game, it’s taking longer and longer to decipher which one posts about “MTG” are actually referencing lately

I changed channel to spongebob because it has subtitles in addition to the dub. I wondered why I couldn't understand a single word. turns out I get nickolodeon *ukraine* for some reason???? (to the surprise of nobody, weak conversational dutch does not allow you to understand ukranian)

hutspot met slavinken en appelstroopjus (mashed potato, onion, and carrot with bacon-wrapped ground beef+pork croquettes and apple syrup gravy) I think I’ve gotten quite good (and probably will be imprisoned for heresy) at hutspot. the secret is a pot of bami goreng or nasi goreng spice paste.

walked past the recycling bins and someone threw out a perfectly good mop free mop

stinky idiot

Labour policy is being celebrated by Tommy Robinson. That's it. That's all you ever need to say to explain who Labour are.

Got a smart tv from a guy moving for 50 euros and it is far bigger than I expected So now I can watch bluey in Dutch all morning alhamdulillah

what if we were to create a hoax, but write our own names into the documents rather than our enemies? delightfully devilish, democrats.

MY KETTLE ARRIVED I CAN MAKE A CUP OF TEA

I had an amazing idea last night. what if instead of purring, cats made the tim allen grunt. so you pet them and you just hear auugh....augh....AUUGH...AUGHH,,,AUGHHH AUGHHH AUUUGHH AUUUGH

oh god it feels so good to eat real food friday to now I've eaten a packet of waffles, 1 sandwich, and 3 slices of cold pizza

things I have found whilst tidying/packing/emptying cupboards: a mana crypt in the bottom of a bag of junk. a pair of rollerblades. 11 bottles of hebrew hand soap. 9 more packing boxes. 19 loose teabags. the arms and headrest of an office chair that no longer exists.

Dead

Taxing the super rich is actually the extremely moderate position compared with what A) they deserve and B) is likely necessary to restore anything like a functioning democratic order to public hands

succubus - female demon that seduces men incubus - male demon that seduces women vengabus - non-binary demon that likes to party

let's fucking go

eyyyyy im gettin elected heah

The sandwich exploded on me. I could feel it through my bulletproof vest. The worst part about it, though, was the smells. Onions. Mustard. I'll never forget what I went through that day. How could I. How could anyone. Mustard stains, oh god, the mustard stains.

I must inform you that feminist intellectuals are now writing scholarly articles analyzing trans lesbian puppygirls on social media. published from Poland, of course! www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10....

I would like to amend my previous statement: dick cheney WAS brat