Australian foreign minister: Australians trapped in Dubai attacks to be evacuated to Santorini or Portofino depending on dietary requirements and coffee preferences

Poor sods on this Sydney > Doha flight, they get all the way past Port Headland then have to turn back because of Iran, but Sydney won't let them land so they're off to Melbourne.😂 They've been flying over 7 hours so far.

Just ordered an Uber and Jacinda Ardern pulled up in a Kia Cerato

To pay PAYG tax payments I need two passwords, 1 SMS code on a second phone (so 2 phones), 3 pins (inc phone unlock pins to access the other pins), 2 authenticators and another 2 authenticator pins before I can make the payment.....per person.

For lent this year I've decided to give up ramadan.

Humblebrag, I know, but I called 428 of the last 2 market crashes.

Dignitas-level hangover from the team at Campari and Mind Enterprises. 10/10, will do again.

The "Accidentally Canadian" crisis in Australia continues...

Stunning news on #$GYG Guzman Y Gomez joining SpaceX's vertical integration: "...to form the most ambitious, vertically-integrated innovation engine on (and off) Earth, with AI, rockets, space-based internet, direct-to-mobile device communications and Australian burritos."

PSA: Spotify's "normalize volume" and "equalizer" settings are the worst, turn them off in your settings, they turn your music into bland mush. With them off you can blast your ears into deafness as nature intended.

Stunning triple axel from this shark living its best life in the Parramatta River Far and away Australia's best hope for an ice breakdancing medal at the Winter Olympics.

I just pushed a child away from a brackish looking puddle and saved a life. Also can't stop saying brackish today, assessing brackishness, and scanning for brackish-related dangers.

GREENLAND: Feeling a little uneasy at the range targets the Danish troops are using in their Arctic Endurance exercise in Greenland. #Greenland #arcticendurance #nato

Those Sydney Fish market parking fees... 🫠 Also no berthing available yet for boats, for the place built on the water where the boats are and you can reach by boat.

Shark Beach in the 1889 Illustrated Sydney News... "Shark Island and Shark Beach: surely in the presence of such dismal reminders....that our harbour is decidedly 'sharky'."

Australia has a surprising number of chopstick taboos, and most Japanese aren’t told about them in advance. Things like sticking chopsticks straight into your gran's remains, passing your gran from chopstick to chopstick, or pointing with them can feel normal in Japan, but....(1/)

"Tonight Matthew, I'm an expert on Venezuelan oil viscosity"

GREENLAND: I think Trump forgets that Denmark has: (1) Not one but *three* Legolands in the USA it can claim sovereignty on (2) Over 100 US Lego Stores in strategic locations including DC's Reagan National airport (3) Capacity to subvert US children for generations #Greenland

wtf Dexter started 20 years ago

Wtf Google Maps Wrapped 2025.... Top 10 Public Toilets Of 2025.... I went to that toilet 3 times tops, the rest of the time I was just holding the shopping for someone else.

"We now cross live to Robert Menzies to see if he too would like to grandstand on the Bondi attack and provide any policy-free hindsight" #Bondi #BondiBeach #BondiAttack

Like Ted Combs at Berkshire Hathaway this week, after 29 wonderful years as head of Berkshire Hathaway Director of Website Design and Creative Communication, it's time for me to move on. I think the stock results since I launched the website speak for themselves. /1

Socceroos first World Cup match in Vancouver will be an easy trip for the 1.2m Australians living in Whistler

Melbourne Airport Fire Update: Both the Melbourne Airport Metro and Trainlink are UNAFFECTED by the fire, and neither will operate as usual.

El Jannah Chicken's new US private equity owner bros when they realise every Australian town, suburb and shopping centre already has a charcoal chicken and chips shop

Australian Quick Service Restaurant concept: 🏮Only sweet & sour chicken fritters or battered sav 🐉Can only be eaten with a spoon 🐼Novelty-shaped rice 🏮Explosive export growth potential in China 120million x EBITDA $1 billion plz obo $GYG & El Jannah. Also listing on Gumtree #jpmorgan

2028 McKinsey strategic pitch meeting at El Jannah....

The $1 billion El Jannah deal probably makes Steggles Chicken the Nvidia story of Australian economic growth prospects. #chickeneconomics

In 414BC, Aristophanes wrote a play that discusses roasting birds. Anyway, El Jannah Chicken has just been bought for $1 billion. #australianinnovation #csiro #chickeneconomics

Australian dollar jumps on news Robert Irwin has won US Dancing With The Stars. I will not be considering any other macroeconomic data announcements at this time, thank you.

Upcoming 2026 ABC sitcoms: Librarians Librarians: Gold Coast Librarians SVU (Shushing Vigilance Unit)

Seems like AI expenditure is more about Google retaining its monopoly on search. They have the deep pockets to do that so it makes sense for them, but it adds nothing to the economy for them to keep the status quo. OpenAI may run out of runway and someone (Microsoft?) snaps it up.

In a 2nd palace announcement, Prince Harry has been given the new formal title of "Prince Andrew" #princeandrew #princeharry

Can't believe both Robert Redford and that nodding beardy meme guy died on the same day.

"Chatgpt: Create a chart, but don't fuck it up because we're going to use it in the product launch. Use your academic benchmark-leading PhD-level brilliance to make sure you don't fuck it up. Then triple-check it's not a fuck up" #chatgpt5 #griftersgonnagrift #fuckup

Swiss goods making the arduous journey to the lower tariff rate EU

"Having most recently mastered cartoon legs we now confidently move on to surpassing the human brain" Powerpoint slide 8 in Zuckerberg's announcement on "Superintelligence"

Zuckerberg explaining his vaporware which, luckily, will be powered by the capital expenditure he already spent

Beginning to think hardly anyone wearing Ralph Lauren Polo can ride a horse

LLM AI is a garbage waste of time example (1): map of Europe. How much are these companies worth again? What is the value use case of this crap?

I must have been the last person to realise Windows has a Maps app of its own, and 5 minutes later it did an update and deactivated itself

Is Google on a mission to show how bad AI is? Every Google search answer is like walking across the pub to ask Benny from Crossroads to explain it to you.

Shopping in Switzerland is great numberwang. One bottle of water? That'll be $11.40. On the bright side a Rolex only costs 3 coffees.

Bluesky needs a fun/relax type tab. It doesn't have an easy space for people to lighten up, nor find other posters that are being funny or interesting in a lighthearted way. #bluesky #lightenupforfuckssake

never forget what they took from us....

Say what you like about Warren Buffet but he's absolutely useless as a professional footballer. Complete waste of a jersey.

Democracy sausage was just served in a naan Could be nothing. #democracysausage #ausvotes #AusVotes2025

Why are acai places in Sydney so proud that their product is supplied in an industrial plastic tub like sheep feed?

What's the absolute minimum a sausage can be warmed and not give a week of gastro? Is it 3 minutes on a hot water bottle cooked by a local rando? Asking for a friend.... #democracysausage #AusVotes2025 #ausvotes