Watching Euphoria for the first time. Who doesn’t want to eat a warm pretzel while on molly?

People on twitter are trying to shame the drunk driving caucus. I thought woke was back…

I’ve been using it as opening word since 2021 and I refuse to change. Always lead with the penis

Hangman is coming. That’s why he’s our Ace

At the diner by my house and they’re playing Miles Davis, I’m about to cry into my home fries and mimosa.

The cool thing about being depressed at the end of summer and not being able to eat is that I’m going to look like a sexy beast in short shorts and a four sided long sleeve/hockey jersey this fall.

Working a wedding party right now and there’s a lot of white line dancing to the Cupid Shuffle right now.

I’ve never felt so connected to a character when Peggy Hill sang Enya while having a panic attack a hospital.

Now that Hangman is once again the People’s Ace I hope he brings back this look.

Hangman is OUR ace.

Restarting my duolingo practices just so I can say “Stop touching my hog!” in different languages at bars I go to.

The second half of this night is so bad that even a Stone Cold segment was hard to stomach.

Paul vs Styles: Loser can’t use slurs anymore match.

Waiting your whole career to main event WrestleMania just to have it end up being mediocre

I’ve noticed how the cybertruck that used to park near the bar I work at hasn’t been around for the past few weeks.

I’m about to convince everyone at the bar tonight is daylights saving so I can close early.

Sir, you are over fifty. Why are playing Imagine Dragons on your phone in my bar?

🚨 ALL OUT FOR WORKERS’ RIGHTS! Tomorrow in D.C. show up and show out!! 🚨

Nothing quite like puking in freshly fallen snow

Since getting rid of Facebook and cutting back on social media in general, I miss all of the Street Fight Sweeties.

Eveytime I come back to this account I have a new Carrie Underwood account following me. Bluesky really is more polite.

It’s karaoke night at the bar down the street from my house. A Beatles Guy is talking to me.

There’s a Grateful Dead night at the bar I work at tonight. Everyone is impressed by my knowledge of Dead “Culture” and it’s totally because of Guys.

There are far too many people in sweat pants in this bar right now.

DG NEW YORK HARDCORE BEST WRESTLER

Hangman/switchblade could happen every ppv and I’d be happy

I caught a temporary ban on twitter for making fun of Marianne Williamson support RFK Jr. I still hope her orbs break.

So like, we’re not allowed to be mean on this right but full hog is okay?

Guess I’m going to try and use this