I've decided I am going to turn my life around and take a new approach. I'm going to click 'yes,allow' every time a web page or app asks to allow notifications

Folks I am sorry but we need to stop this discussion right now Those Epstein emails clearly have a very official warning at the bottom about not disclosing them We are all violating that Thank you for your attention to this matter

So just so I have this straight, the bunch of horrible emails we are all talking about rn are NOT the ones that the admin is trying to block the release of??? there are other emails that look worse than these?

I once thought nail clipping was the pinnacle of 'why would you do that in public' grooming offenses. I am in an airport gate waiting area. There is a woman across from me tweezing her husband's eyebrows and ear hair.

"We have obtained a promise from Lucy that she will consider holding the football appropriately at a given date in the future."

I chose 'lemonade' in the restaurant order app. It then informed me that popular options were 'water' and 'sugar.' Offered to let me choose my base. Should I have gotten my lemonade made with oat milk, no sugar?

Thanks to @whysharksmatter.bsky.social and the University of Miami team for letting me join! We caught and tagged 2 sharks!

Today @cbquist.bsky.social of @scifri.bsky.social joined us for a day of shark research!

IT IS SO ORDERED with extra cheese, for pickup

Whatever happened to really rich people being Patrons Of The Arts if I had a kajillion dollars I think it would be so fun to call up a favorite band and ask to commission a song or two. Why can they not do that

Have any of the online image meme generators created a 'loopy tacky gold script on White House wall' function yet because I have a lot of words I would like in gold script there but also, I am lazy

If you are in line to rage, rage against the dying of the light, STAY IN LINE

If you are in line to rage, rage against the dying of the light, STAY IN LINE

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. I could smell the onions and the mustard.

words that only appear in print, #738: "ouster"

fact: before clocks became widespread, each town had one guy who owned 24 dogs and fed one of them each hour. that way everyone would know exactly what time it was. What time is it? Oh, it's Captain Snuffles o'clock, they'd say which was weird considering they didn't know what clocks were

Dear Bluesky users: it has come to our attention that many of you were Disseminating Accounts or Descriptions of the game without written permission. Examples include: "Noooooo!" "Holy shit" "BASEBALL, amirite??" "I'm dying"

Dear Bluesky users: it has come to our attention that many of you were Disseminating Accounts or Descriptions of the game without written permission. Examples include: "Noooooo!" "Holy shit" "BASEBALL, amirite??" "I'm dying"

who else out there disseminatin' ??

Brb, disseminating a description of the game without express written consent

"I never thought the leopards would eat MY face" comes from a classic tweet referencing both how delicious faces are to leopards, and what an honor it is to be able to aid your local wildlife population

"I never thought the leopards would eat MY face" comes from a classic tweet referencing both how delicious faces are to leopards, and what an honor it is to be able to aid your local wildlife population

Jealous of the trick or treaters who got potatoes. Though daughter did score a brick of Top Ramen, so it's not a complete washout

He was a great Gatsby, the greatest Gatsby that we've ever seen. Big strong Gatsby, tears in his eyes, came up to me and said, Sir...

Each year, the Great Pumpkin rises out of the pumpkin patch that he thinks is the most sincere. He's gotta pick this one. He's got to.

My super smart design tip is that if you are building a marble bathroom, not every surface in it needs to be marble

darth I think it is only fair that the pope start giving baseball team people robes and pope hats why do the gifts go only one way

NOT NOW, disease monkeys

MAMAS' DON'T LET YOUR BABIES GROW UP TO BE COWBOYS DON'T LET 'EM PICK GUITARS OR DRIVE THEM OLD TRUCKS LET 'EM BE DOCTORS AND LAWYERS AND SUCH! 'CAUSE THEY'LL NEVER STAY HOME AND THEY'RE ALWAYS ALONE, EVEN WITH SOMEONE THEY LOVE!! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! PRESIDENT DJT

sorry I was just trying to figure out how many plastic balls it will take to fill the ballroom

sorry I was just trying to figure out how many plastic balls it will take to fill the ballroom

This is an obvious failure of security, usually they make you leave your chainsaws at the coat check

Daughter is feeling concerned because just two weeks ago she and a classmate gave a presentation/skit in French class about how they stole the jewels from the Louvre I can attest to her alibi but she suggests the police look in Bretagne, where the thieves escaped by boat

Hey ChatGPT I have just met someone I am interested in and I am having a good time, what sort of expression should I put on my normal human meat face to indicate that

You could strike the word 'Africa' and still be accurate here NPR

How much is Big Measle paying off our government officials The Measle Industrial Complex

do not worry every body Instead of the MMWR we can all just ask chat gpt what diseases are breaking out where everything will be completely* fine (it is not fine)

Checked into hotel and the 'messages' light on the phone was flashing. Retrieved the important message. "Hello this is your 9am wakeup call. Today is Tuesday May 13..." I hope they woke up <checks under the bed>

“On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.” “That’s the display department.” “With a flashlight.” “Ah, well, the lights had probably gone.” “So had the stairs.” “But look, you found the notice, didn’t you?”

Personally I feel the sweet chariot should not swing low, instead it should just be patient and wait for its pitch. Make them throw strikes, sweet chariot

Dear Google News, thank you for this timely selection of stories in the field of Robotics

Today in misdirected emails -- if you happen to know anyone in Alaska with a last name sort of like mine, their car registration (first letters JVC) is expiring soon, please remind them

With Jane Goodall's passing, I was reminded of this great Blank on Blank animation using @scifri.bsky.social audio from 2002. youtu.be/3y4ZT0aj7OE?...

Am I having a sudden mental issue Have I slipped into an alternate timeline where everything is just *off* Oh no it's that my phone installed an update and now all the fonts are slightly different, aaaaa

They say that we must meet the moment. Ok, but I think we should meet in a very public, well-lit place with lots of people around, because I certainly don't trust the moment

They say that we must meet the moment. Ok, but I think we should meet in a very public, well-lit place with lots of people around, because I certainly don't trust the moment

This meeting could have been an email. But even better would have been an email that stayed in the drafts folder.

"Try our great new thing to help you make that Big Important Presentation! It is correct slightly over half the time!!!!" Microsoft launches ‘vibe working’ in Excel and Word www.theverge.com/news/787076/...

"Try our great new thing to help you make that Big Important Presentation! It is correct slightly over half the time!!!!" Microsoft launches ‘vibe working’ in Excel and Word www.theverge.com/news/787076/...

My memory of war-torn Portland involves my almost fainting on the light rail to the airport and having a big biker dude help me with my bag and a grandma-type with a cat in a backpack offer me her lemonade