I am being told that they've scheduled a whole new year to start right after this one. Rude.

Did you know!!! If you press 'log out' at 4:59:23 on New Year's Eve and go do something fun, you can still be doing something fun or even sleeping when the clock strikes midnight. Start your new year out right!

Organizations!! We are in the FINAL HOURS of 2025. This is your LAST CHANCE to send me a message asking for money. Don't let this opportunity slip away!!!

Resolutions for the New Year: 1) feet: going to be on the ground 2) head: there to move me around 3) if confused, check with the sun

A very weird conversation in which it eventually becomes apparent that child is confusing George Orwell and George Foreman

<flings open window> You there, boy! What day is this? <youth in the street, looking directly into camera> Nobody knows. 'Tis the weird In Between Times.

<flings open window> You there, boy! What day is this? <youth in the street, looking directly into camera> Nobody knows. 'Tis the weird In Between Times.

And Tiny Tim, who did NOT dye, kept his shirt sparkling white

Tbt the time when I mis-read the program for the Christmas mass and thought that the very excellent cantor was named Missa Pacem

"In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two identical, yet equally important, groups: the people who are supposed to be posting the Epstein files, and the people who are threatened by the posting of the Epstein files. These are their stories."

Why does Canada get both the Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve and the strategic 60 Minutes Reserve

At this point I expect to start seeing people post "Hey, check out this classic video of Rick Astley singing 'Never Gonna Give You Up'" and linking to a copy of 60 Minutes

Isn't there someone* you forgot to ask??? *Stephen Miller

Fair amount of overlap between the people who like to say <citation needed> and the people who let LLMs hallucinate citations for them

"In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two identical, yet equally important, groups: the people who are supposed to be posting the Epstein files, and the people who are threatened by the posting of the Epstein files. These are their stories."

This means we have an opportunity to shift to an alternate timeline if we all work together. Who's with me?

DOJ assuming that because some administration officials lack object permanence, the rest of us do as well

Ready for my Vogue photoshoot based on my great taste

"And Tiny Tim, who was NOT in the Epstein files..."

This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends Not with a bang but [redacted]

The very distinguished board has voted (unanimously!) that certain paperwork be renamed The Donald J Trump-Epstein Files, congratulations to all!

Dear publicist, thank you for your offer of an interview regarding "How to Cope With Mother-Daughter Tension During the Holidays." If it was surface tension, or the Hubble tension, maybe. But this is unfortunately not a good editorial fit for Science Friday at this time.

Marketing people of the world, please stop giving things one or two letter abbreviations and stacking them in boxes and calling it a 'periodic table of the (whatever)'

Dear publicist, thank you for your recent email regarding "Holiday Glow on a Budget: Last-Minute Beauty Treatments You Can Still Book Before Christmas." This topic does not meet the editorial needs of Science Friday at this time.

I am being served an ad to "Learn English!" from a place that says they only teach English. The ad is written in English.

Hello! This is your yearly reminder that most if not all xmas carols can be improved by inserting the word 'vampires' in appropriate places. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Man came up to me, big strong man, peg leg, tears in his eyes, and said "Arrrrr, Sir"

Amidst the Calibri/Times New Roman ~debate~ eagerly awaiting the Federal Highway Administration announcing they will add serifs to Highway Gothic

How many times a day do you think about the (Times New) Roman Empire?

My father served in the Army with him in an intelligence unit in Germany -- as dad told it, they were selected because they both knew how to type.

Have we considered opening daycare centers staffed entirely by wolves, for those who want the 'were you raised by wolves??' experience

I ask the world's scientists to focus on the Things That Really Matter -- creating a comprehensive data set on which cookies taste better straight out of the freezer, and which taste worse

Movie you’ve watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars nor Trek), LOTR, or Marvel, Disney Animated or Pixar.

Dear mechanic, I know that part of my car is probably purely cosmetic but it still seems like you should have reattached it after the job? Or at least given me back the clip thing that holds it on so I can reattach it myself??

Dr. Mack, as a theorist, what is the best theory to buy for someone just getting into astronomy?

Clickbait Carol Collection, Vol 1 What Kind Of Christmas is Bing Crosby Dreaming Of? The Answer May Surprise You 12 Top Christmas Gifts For Your True Love, Ranked Grandma Got Run Over By This Unlikely Culprit They Were Dashing Through The Snow. You'll Never Guess What Happened Next

As someone who has felt the current Nobel Prizes have room for improvement, I for one am looking forward to hearing who the FIFA Laureates in Physiology or Medicine, Chemistry, and Physics will be

it is one of my favorite days Gibbon Tuesday looking forward to all your gibbon facts

A Very Cthulhu Christmas Special

I would like to announce that, as a Center of Excellence in Not Winning Football Games, it would be unfair for me to offer my skills to any one team. However I am available for a reasonable fee on a non-exclusive freelance consulting basis for any team needing help in Not Winning

Introduce yourself with 5 words commonly used for introductions: Hi Hello Hola Yo 'Sup

"Chief People Officer" using the "Soylent Green Is People" definition of "people"

This morning's family activity involves taking a song from one Disney movie and singing it while swapping in names/places/plot points from other Disney movies

Wishing you all peace, a big bowl of your favorite side dish, and some leftover pie for tomorrow.

We should realign national space policy to prioritize developing the capability to fire certain people directly into the sun when necessary

Why do none of the 10000 holiday recipe articles run this week explain how much buttered toast to serve for a proper charlie brown thanksgiving feast

Just remember that even though the president gave the usual pardon to the turkeys, they can still be brought up on state charges

Thank you Google image AI result for giving the detailed tech specs of a laptop you did not see

Thank you Google image AI result for giving the detailed tech specs of a laptop you did not see

Why are vehicles used by movers called the 'moving van' even if they are trucks, but ice cream vehicles are called 'trucks' even if they are vans