Yay: thunderstorm brought temps down. Boo: storm broke the tiny trunk of my new persimmon tree sapling. Now attempting an intervention involving splints and tape, wish me luck

I do not want to chat with apps. I do not want to chat with Maps. I do not want AI in Meet. I do not want to chat with Sheets. I do not want...

Today in misdirected email: a poll about what to do about the Swedish music school graduation because a circus has come to town and *someone has bought a ticket*!!! However, almost everyone has responded to the organizer about food, good job

If you are in line to steal FIFA funds, STAY IN LINE

Pride and Prejudice and Grogu

Next, using the Vietnam Memorial as a court for 'VIP Raquetball'

I'm going to need a translation into some normal unit of measure, like Rhode Islands, refrigerators, or Libraries of Congress, wired dot com

Driving along this afternoon (central NJ) and as I passed a shopping center there was a guy selling watermelons out of the back of a trailer. Where must he have come from where watermelon is in season???

Was there a sign of any raccoons there by any chance, asking for RFK

Dear publicist, thank you for your note regarding a segment timed for International Customer Support Day. Your pitch is important to us. Please hold for the next available Science Friday producer. Your message will be dealt with in the order it was received.

There should be a yearly crossover sports season in which all the football players play baseball and all the baseball players play hockey and all the hockey players play basketball and all the basketball players play football

The joy of discovering a very specialized piece of equipment that actually does what it says on the tin

He loved the classics, and had heard rave reviews about this one. He was prepared to savor. On the first page, he stopped, startled. "In the great green room, there was a telephone..." Ah, he thought. Historical fiction. "And a red balloon..." He appreciated the juxtaposition of colors.

The thing where action book authors need to give their main character a hobby to describe. Preferably one with equipment, and/or very precise procedures, that can be described in depth to show you how Exceptional the Main Character is

The thing where action book authors need to give their main character a hobby to describe. Preferably one with equipment, and/or very precise procedures, that can be described in depth to show you how Exceptional the Main Character is

When Gumby forgets to shave

Dear university professors and other instructional staff enjoying the fine Canvas service- I have checked the relevant documents and regulations and I believe you are now obligated to pass everyone. Except Doug, you can still fail him.

My job ain't a job, it's a damn good time City to city, I'm thinking bout crime On location, touring around the nation Kash Patel always on vacation Itchy trigger finger, but a stable turntable I do what I do best because I'm illing and able

I get that there is a cost savings to having a robot voice read your train arrival announcements, but you'd think that Amtrak would have paid a little extra to customize the robovoice so that their premium product was not announced as 'ass-la'

When they told me to listen to the song of the sea is this what they meant

Your honor, I was merely beginning to make a reference to the Tommy Tutone hit 867-5309/Jenny and got distracted and misspelled it

This morning as I drifted in and out of sleep, my semi-dreaming brain said "She has earned the Electric System black hat and spoon." I think it was a compliment, or something you'd say in a list of accomplishments. So. I urge you, today, strive to earn the Electric System's black hat and spoon.

We advise the public not to get hair transplant from turkeys, as turkeys have feathers not hair

Have they asked the mentalist what happened

Traveling, daughter forgot her toothbrush. Went in to a dollar store to get a backup. Sign at register: 'squeeze shoe for cashier.' Cashier walks over, stops at another register. 'Dude stole my shoe." He grabs a squeaky dog toy in the shape of a shoe and slams it down in front of his register.

I am a single-issue voter, and that issue is "getting rid of the little rainbow spiral animation on the Google search bar whenever I open a blank tab"

Dear publicist, thank you for your suggestion of a segment on "how to host beautifully, cook seasonally, and create effortless al fresco gatherings all summer long." This topic is not a clear fit for SciFri, can you expand on the science of al fresco gatherings please?

Somewhere in a secret bioweapons lab, researchers put the challenging smallpox and ebola research on hold to just churn out vats of influenza

This cover makes me think Wuthering Heights is maybe a zombie book, or perhaps part of the Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys universe

Arc d’échec?

Do you think the stores of kompromat will be released the day that It Happens, the day of a funeral, or some secret third day

I always enjoy entering the NJ Turnpike and seeing the sign 'OVER-DIMENSIONAL VEHICLES MUST EXIT.' Picturing a Klein bottle tanker truck, or a big Calabi-Yau manifold speeding along

Love to get up on a lazy weekend morning, grab the paper, "Iran opens key strait, Trump and Tehran say, lifting hopes for peace" oh good, I think I activate the Magic Horror Slab oh wait I guess not

A tile/granite store near me just put out a big sign advertising the materials they have available and "Free Stimates." And I think I approve. Free Stimates for all.

It seems like just yesterday that the DOD spent millions on lobster and steak (o wait it was September) www.foodandwine.com/department-o...

I would like an actual physical switch to turn devices on and off, not an app or a remote control

(Rupert Holmes voice) 🎶 If you like giant echidnas.... And getting caught in the rain 🎶

There are many things I don't understand about the healing-trump picture he posted. But you know the weird hovering creature in the center top? It is not in this version, posted in Feb on Instagram. Someone ADDED the weird horned beast thing???

In a bid to be Tougher on Crime, Pope Leo amends the Corporal Works of Mercy, specifying that one should 'visit the imprisoned' only to taunt them

Crime-fighting Pope with Kung-fu Action Grip

"In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by three separate yet equally important groups: the police, who investigate crime; the district attorneys, who prosecute the offenders, and the Pope, who popes. These are their stories".

Are there any other tasks on JD's to-do list for this weekend I am just curious

Every time during this mission when I hear 'Reid Wiseman' my brain goes to the classic spaceflight chronicle, 'Curious George Gets a Medal,' in which he is convinced to go to space by Professor Wiseman at the museum

Very impressed with the roofing crew. It suddenly got quiet. We looked outside and they had flipped their wheelbarrow over, set a microwave oven on top of it, and are heating up lunch. 10/10 lunch game

Does anyone have reccs for a popup blocker / filter that is especially good at stopping those evil support scam websites? I have an elderly (very trusting) relative who keeps getting freaked out because "it says I have a virus" / "I am supposed to call Microsoft" / "it says my antivirus is expired"

The Blade Runner cityscape sequence, overlaid with fart sound effects instead of the Vangelis soundtrack

We are getting the roof replaced today and between all the windows being draped with tarps and plywood, and 10 guys tromping on the roof scraping off old shingles, it is very much 'you are in the middle of a tornado' vibes Auntie em, auntie em!

Artemis, Houston, you're on mute

Recovery team: hey welcome back <astronauts load gun and get back in capsule> Recovery team: um, where you going? Astronauts: Earth's haunted