genuinely pissing myself at how excellent this gaga single is

Jacob collier

ABRACADABRA

uber offering $1000 in free bets + a gambling addiction should I redeem

I kinda liked Emilia Perez quite a bit it was very entertaining

me: my cat died someone: call the kitty coroner 😂 someone else: actually in the south we call it caddy coroner … me: 😵‍💫

crack an egg on your head and the yolk is running down

“I don’t have a bad relationship with alcohol” . Whole time it’s a torrid affair 🤦‍♂️

girl are u going to Scarborough Fair??? They got parsley, sage, rosemary, AND thyme

sweet green smelled like wet cockerspaniel today but I’m still gonnna fuck up this harvest bowl

just read my name so many times on the TL I started to have a panic attack a little bit

I’m Jake

advertisers still using the new year as a messaging strategy

just delivered joke which illicited no reaction to 2 senior coworkers

If I can’t find the cure I’ll I’ll fix you with my love

should I go see Bob Dylan movie alone

Not all Italians...

Apple Watch acquired, I have the ecosystem….

Fuck Idina Menzel

decided to deep clean when I got home but I’ve been laying down for an hour and a half after doing the dishes

idgaf stfu goykagmf 😭🤷‍♂️

sis it’s not about aptitude it’s the way you’re viewed chillleeeee 😭

stupid couple walking hand in hand down staircase that’s only 2.5 people wide max

Kesha themed cycle class is now

twitter actually sucks so bad now

ooohh boy you looking like you like what you see wont you come over and check up on it? imma let you work up on it ladies let him check up on it watch it while he check up on it DIP it, POP it, TWERK it, STOP it!!!! Checkkkk on meeeee tonight

somewhere in the world there is a father and a mother and the father is a son who has a mother. The mother has a daughter.

Boq tuah

Soup by Remi Wolf

cycling class was especially hard today but I’m proud of myself for getting into a routine

hii everyone sorry i was gone but im back

how do yall have over 2k skeets…… FREAKS

Friendsgiving head

Hour car ride home is pissing me off

I'm queer but I'm not friendsgiving on thursday queer

I ate dinner and it was good.

don’t bring up the billboard greatest pop stars of the 21st century list at the thanksgiving table…

OPPA GANGNAM STYLE

not only that but the stuffing smells amazing as well!

this undying memory…

woke up so bloated from pizza need to be stabbed to release the methane from my body like a cow

what’s everyone’s favorite song at the moment 🥰

my gay ass 2020 Spotify wrapped….

the gay guy having no ass #tooreal

you are what u skeet.

so why I quote tweet a cringe millennial I get 0 likes but when yall do it it’s viral skeets all around… oh okay

ANGEL OF MY DREAMS I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND HATE YOU ITS NOT FAIR

Gurrrlll, we are not thanksgiving turkeys 🤣

anyone have fun ideas to put on my Christmas list ☺️