He wishes he was me.

I don't know. Not yet. But something is coming - the cards have predicted it.

He is being careful, but our little friend is showing us his hand. Now we must call his bluff.

Nothing which could be proven as of yet. Though it is a fact that you are one of a few who has crossed the void and found herself here, and someone has attempted to communicate with you. It is the cause of your head troubles, n’est-ce pas?

*Very good*. But we are far from finished. I am unsure if you will ever be able to return to the world from which you came. I confess that it is strange to me that you should be chosen to come here. Perhaps it is so that our adversaire knows your personally?

The metaphor does not matter: A game, a parlour trick, a stage in which we all are actors . . . I find these words so trying. We understand the point which is to be made, why keep at it? *But*, ( he says, finger in the air, smiling, ) it does reveal something to us. That those who are against us --

What I mean, mon amie, is that things are 'heating up', so to speak, and it is important to me that you are ready.

Being vague suits me much more than you. How are you *feeling*?

Yes, a crow. How are you feeling *now*? Physically, mentally, transdimensionally.

Two toys to boot. Are you feeling better today?

( He leans over and takes a fry from her Happy Meal. )

Who knows what I'm doing when I'm not with you, Daisy?

( Hassam suddenly has his little European espresso in its little cup and saucer. ) You're quite right. It's inconvenient to have to do anything yourself, by hand, isn't it?

You're not scared of a McDonald's worker, are you?

Don't be scared. If you want a toy, go into the McDonald's and ask for one.

Yes, how tragic . . .

Please, eat your Happy Meal. It's a shame they forgot to give you a toy. The service at these American restaurants gets worse by the year.

Better is a poor Valerie who walks in her integrity than a rich Valerie who is crooked in her ways. I bought you a Happy Meal. Do you eat meat? The toys, at the moment, are Bakugan and Only Hearts Pets, so I bought two and gave one to Daisy without a toy in it.

( Somehow NOT his smarmiest voice?) Look again.

So it was. And there's no more?

Nevermind, Daisy. Accidents happen. Onto the next one, no?

Ah, of course. It can be... Challenging, when something so contrary to our sense of reality is observed, something which simply cannot be explained as things stand. So, how are you finding space? (To the server, who is, for once, not a robot: ) Giacomo, please bring us something to drink.

( A polite smile. ) A magician never reveals his secrets. Are you interested in magic, Cassie? You have the aura for it. Not to mention that magic, I find, is a great unifier across the stars and sands of time.

Is *this* your card, Cassie? May I call you Cassie?

What did you think all of this documentation has been for, Joel?

Oh, would you look at that. A visitor.

Ah, un instant, s'il vous plaît. It seems that you misunderstand me. ( His sunglasses glinted in the light, her face reflecting back at her. Hassam is always smiling a gambler's smile. ) I wish to speak to *the Big Bad Wolf*.

I have an appointment with the Big Bad Wolf. I believe we spoke on the telephone?

Ah, bonjour. You are not the receptionist, are you? I have been waiting here for quite some time to be served.

How very astute. Well, Daisy, it is a retirement plan with certain tax benefits. But I am boring you already!

And why are you asking?

Surely by now you must realize that aliens are everywhere? The United Kingdom has . . . ( He considers the term. ) An affinity for alien interactions, especially on a larger scale. There are... Persons of interest here.

Don't worry, Daisy. We shall go into this... together. But be careful of the seagulls, they are wicked little things.

They call them fish and chips here. Much thicker than your... American things, you see?

Hm. ( A nod. ) Acceptable.

Stardew Valley or Township?

What are *your* hobbies?

Do you know what the problem with these youth today is, mon ami? You have no hobbies! I have always said, it is important to have the little trinkets and such, if it is not keeping from work.

And then?

The children have been concerningly silent as of late.

I must admit, I am quite sold upon this... 'Caravan'. It is a little primitive, but there is no shame in enjoying something basic every so often, non?

ⓘ This user has been permasupermegabanned for leaking state secrets

The food here is quite basic, but I'll admit it has a certain charm. Occasionally. I have heard and seen some apt chefs. I do enjoy the haute cuisine at the Ultra-Luxe, for instance. Now there is an attempt at restoration!

Mm. And have you tried any of the food here?

I enjoy good food and drink. Culture is what life is all about, Valerie, no?

I do not have a favourite meal because there are too many good ones, although I will always have a bottle of wine with my dinner. This is very important.

Let me see. *Your* favorite color is... Purple, no?

Tem. Or perhaps burgundy.

People, they do not ask - well, how can I tell if no one asks? Not even our good friend Giacomo. What do you wish to know?

There is nothing much to tell, Valerie.