A salad is a Waltz if it has 3 beets.

You have to test out a lot of Geiger counters before finding one that just clicks.

My favorite Swedish book is ”Billy”, the pictures-only children’s book about a man (and a friend) putting together a bookshelf.

Firefighters train diligently to make sure they don’t go down in a burning ring of foyer.

How does a mansplainer handle being told they are mansplaining? Not well, actually.

I used the word “acuñado” to describe mojito ingredients in spanish, and I was told that word wasn’t what I mint.

The cookies on the counter are labeled "help yourself," but if I eat one it's because I can't help myself.

If you have question about property uses in town, the city zoning code explains a lot.

The nuns had to cancel their sewing class when they found out it was habit forming.

Marine Biologists are driven in their careers by a sense of greater porpoise.

“Left Behind”, starring Nicholas Cage, has very low reviews, so does that mean that the production of “Left Behind” was half-assed?

We washed our drying rack and then didn’t know where to put it.

Many mountains are rainy, but in Washington State they are Rainier. It's possible I heard this Washington pun from someone else, because it doesn't feel Oregonal.

The 100% wool athletic wear line is supposed to help you get in sheep.

Standard printer paper is 11" long which means it's almost a footprint.

Should we refer to them as Frankenberries, or Frankenberry’s cereal?

In zero gravity... is there such a thing as stand-up comedy?

If your wreath looks a little drab, you can use some evergreen boughs to spruce it up.

Whenever I practice drawing with my left hand, people make offhanded comments.

With their most recent victory, the fencer marked another item off of their to-deulist.

The book I just read was entirely in *bold* text, so while I didn’t like the plot very much, it did have strong characters.

Someone told the Reavers that their spear cannon was dirty, so they put it through the wash.

During the duel, the fencer had to go to the bathroom and, in his haste, epee'd his pants.

@dailydael.bsky.social I made this poem almost a decade ago and NOW IS ITS TIME IS NIGH:

I read a book on English sausage making, and it was a banger.

They forgot to put the glossy coating on the new dry erase board, so it was fairly unremarkable.

I don’t know when my pants will be shortened because my tailor is capricious.

The review of the face cream highlighted its pore performance.

In 1910, Kaiser Wilhelm tried to bring up the topic of the Rhineland at a French diplomatic meeting, but was told it wasn’t germane.

@tychobrahe.bsky.social Spending time writing faction fiction can cause conflict because it’s only one of the many things you are great at, and dividing your attention across so many things can cause health problems: a faction fiction friction function fraction infarction.

Tesla employees recently found out their entire robotaxi development division was a misinterpretation of their boss saying he wanted to heil a cab.

Bumper sticker idea: “Ankh if you love Hieroglyphs”

I’m still copying over my old posts from other social media sites. Sorry for the mass-posting.

Fishery managers learn their trade by attending educational salmonars.

It's very difficult to grade the final exams in the Apiary course, because everyone is hoping to get a B.

Your first time visiting Paris will probably be Louvre at first sight.

My philosophy major friend keeps trying to correct my pronunciation whenever I tell them that Nihilism is a very niche field to study.

While clumsily running to the bathroom between bouts, the fencer epee’d their pants.

Curtains smell like the window, but carpets smell floral.

To leave oneself vulnerable to patricide is a tactical heir.

Running pointless medical tests for a patient just to prove to them that you were right the first time is called reverse cytology.

After studying animals in high school, the student graduated and went to ecology.

Jim Henson made the muppets to better express how he felt.

You might think that, at five pounds, a cast iron pan is the heaviest tool in your kitchen, but a colander is usually sieven.

The Major League Pitchers’ Union tried to go on strike, but whenever they scheduled a walk-out, the negotiations started over.

Tired of the late deliveries, the chef went to his fruit and vegetable supplier and issued an ultomatum.

When the fruit-picker’s cart overturned, they were berried alive.

When a ghost visits friends in another state, they stay in the ghast bedroom.

Pirates have so many piercings because they cost less than a buck an ear.

Some of my autumn-loving friends got real excited about the colder temperatures yesterday, but it turned out to be a fall’s alarm.