rrrredraw time (right is 2020)

in other news i need my doctor to hurry up and look at my stupid blood work and comfirm my thyroid's garbage so i can make it my whole personality

arts n crafts....... pingu but he's on downers

FUCK yeah dude!!!

sticking my entire fist in my mouth about topics i maybe shouldn't comment on because of the job i have

queer joy is real and don't you forget it!!!

mega cringe and also im a lil drunk but i think that even if they had specifically grown me a partner in a lab they wouldn't have matched me as well as my gf matches me 💖💖💖💖💖

idk how to voice this gently and i'm trying to not rain on ppl's parades because i too believe that irony can be a beautiful & whimsical thing but i still feel like "gun violence is funny when it's against someone i don't like" is a weirdass take SORRY

u ever see a pic of one of your parents and their partner (or your parents together i guess) (hashtag child of divorce) and you're like oh god you guys are like TOGETHER together. i thought you were just hanging out

i ❤️ having a job where the use of AI is straight up banned

i'm SOOOOOOOOO in love honestly wtf is happening to me

it's soooo hard to be a nice person sometimes because you have to say shit to your friends like "i think your $100 labubu is cute & not an ugly little demon hellspawn creature"

how to dress for a wedding in a way that will get u mistaken for waitstaff SPEEDRUN

if ppl in my street would stop turning this place into a war zone i think that would be soooo nice

obligatory tipsy honeymoon phase post to remind everyone i really really really care about my girlfriend

i'm gonna panic and take this down later lmao but man they really don't warn u about how obnoxious you might get when you're solidly in the honeymoon phase of your first for realsies relationship huh :')

today on People In My Tags That I Come To Bluesky Specifically To Complain About: i am sorry for getting some of the deep lore wrong on my 8 year old thomas the train shitpost

do you think valve and tumblr are on the same server. do you think they kiss

see now i'm annoyed because i agree (he IS an indoor cat btw - though he wasn't back when the pic was taken) but the way this is phrased is hurting my feelies

saw a guy trying to pickpocket someone today and we made awkward eye contact and he IMMEDIATELY stopped, got up and walked into the revolving door section me and my gf just walked in to try and pick my pocket instead???? bro i JUST saw you

i have a girlfriend now BY THE WAY :)

DUDE THINGS ARE CRAAAZY RN [was reliably informed that my existence is important to some ppl]

girl i'm dating & i wanted to share a burger and she was like "how big are you on kitchen hygiene" and i was like "eh it's whatever" and she immediately took out her house key and like... sawed the burger in half with it and i somehow think that was very attractive

gay things r happening to me

let me preface this by saying i'm actually in a pretty good place mentally so take this with a grain of salt but AAAIUUGGHH I WANT TO EAT DRYWALL

i think i hauve Anxiety

well i for one think i'm being very sensible and chill about dating. no don't look at my google search history. no that's not a list of therapist contact info i'm compiling

anyway. thinking back, the 2, maybe 3 times i've brought up *any* issues i was dealing with to her in the last year the response has been "that sucks" and nothing else while i'm essentially her number one yes man and therapist and sometimes that makes me so sad man!!! like i genuinely love this

can't post this anywhere else because i feel like people who know me irl will immediately know who sent me this (and to be fair she's really going through it rn and i don't wanna dunk on her) but ohhhhhhh my god

my toxic character trait is that when people try to correct my english it makes me want to eat my own hands and then maybe theirs after

I LOVE YOU JACKFRUIT RENDANG

another year another spotify wrapped full of information you couldn't waterboard out of me

also being an adult is soooo fucked up and evil........ i'm genuinely excited that tomorrow i get to go to a seminar about value-added tax

I Wamt A Cigarette

smel it

i kinda miss those moths that live in ur rice sometimes... haven't seen them in a while. is my rice not good enough for you

oscar basically has a dakimakura of himself btw. if u even care

something sooooo magical about being on a social media platform before you follow anyone or anyone follows you