...they fucked up our future so bad you have to learn about the weather now smh

every time i accidentally do a exercise and have sore muscles i am once again baffled and horrified at how many of you just live like this

hey quick question, am I having a stroke

😬😬😬

ich finde AfD Wähler irgendwie auch wohlstandsverwahrlost

Good morning I guess

the haircut i gave myself in the middle of the night with kitchen scissors turned out so fluffy and pretty and you should definitely also just cop off bits until you got bangs and layers trust me, it can only good happen

i know a lot of people got very excited about that man's death ....but this seems like going a bit far even to me

kinda rude of Israel to start bombing 83453 countries just as the Asian markets start trading smh some people just have no sense of decency

Fun fact: du kannst dir als Erwachsener einfach Sprühsahne kaufen und dann jeden Morgen heiße Schokolade mit Sahne frühstücken

People are always like "omg Lena your alarm is set to 4:30?? That's so early" and what they don't know is that I actually woke up at 1:30 after a refreshing 90 minutes of sleep and have just been on tiktok waiting for it to be morning since then

looking at all the bruises on my legs youd think id spent the entire weekend on my knees down by the docks which promises a lot more exciting lifestyle than the one i'm actually living

me, literally eating a popsicle and watching videos about mushrooms: 😊 brain: me: ...don't! brain: me: i stg brain: okay but what if it actually ISNT the trauma and you just ARE the worst person who ever lived though?! i dont think we have considered this option enough tbh

i was always pretty sturdy, even my being quite fit fighting weight is like 13 stone: and im not that tall so like that is solid mass; i have always given gravity something to work on, yknow so men being weird about you being all 🌸smol🌸 and 🌸fragile🌸 is a new experience for me and i dont like it

desperately trying to find a sexy way to tell the pretty person who lets me do awful things to them that yes the pictures i show them of 🥰nature🥰here are stunning but unless you want to explain how you got insect bites in places where the sun dont shine its not a whimsical clothes off sort of place

i had 200mg of caffeine bc im tired af for no reason and i need to get my house cleaned and coffee is disgusting to me rn and then i sat down and had a 90 minute nap and now im even more tired for no reason somehow and my house is still not cleaned

very medieval chruch voice: you know women and how they only want one thing...dick; we really gotta keep an eye on that one

today a man at the gym asked me what i do to improve flexibility because he wants to work on that i have never done a single thing to improve flexibility and i did not know that is a thing we are working on i was just sitting weird

romance book author: she, a 35 year old tubby destitute single mother of 2, was rescued by the elder king of the fae Daemonticus, who is a billionaire and actually owns this very popular bdsm club for the 1% and instantly loves her unconditionally and takes her to his kingdom me: ya checks out

I wish it showed on pictures how big these old trees are but just trust me, it's some big ass old fucking trees

I love it here so much it's not even funny

Ich will ja nicht angeben, aber...

Ich will ja nicht angeben, aber *gibt an*

kill me

Good morning

Floor pillow lounge bananas

Sorry I didn't get anything done this weekend, I was actually super busy

action shots from me on a v serious call about v serious terrorists doing v serious terrorist stuff:

on the not cool side: im still sick as hell and in the exact same spot and pjs i was yesterday on the cool side: cats on the extremely not cool side: i am going to have to make them move and get up now

i would like you all to know that i was invited to *quite* a cool party this weekend anyways, here's how we're spending the evening

"you're going to die alone surrounded by cats" Me, alive, alone, surrounded by cats: oh...noooo

I left the house 5 hours ago with the cats in this exact same position I'm so jealous of them

"just remember theyre barn cats that werent socialised around humans, they probably wont get too attached to you" the barn cats in question every night:

Radish has decided that she likes sleeping under the blanket with me so now the second I even think about getting one out she is on me and waiting

When I got them I was worried the house would be too small for two cats

Hmm, I wonder where my scaredy cat who definitely hates me and wants nothing to do with me and is insulted by my mere presence might be? Ah, there she is

Yeah...life is pretty tough

look who made it back for the summer 🥰

cat content

POV you got your cat hooked on screens and now you get this look whenever you pause a video ft. Panzerbüchse

cat on a building site content

i guess we're sleeping on the couch tonight

Spätherbst 🍂