Feels like Australia is about to be called into the principal's office and I swear I didn't do it, whatever it was. #auspol

My calendar suggests April Fool’s Day is coming up but *looks around at everything* I assure you it is not.

There are few things better in life than nailing the first six pars of your feature article. That is all.

This man saw the future.

A stranger recognised me from a TV quiz show today and that’s the best way to make a nerd feel cool, in case you’re wondering.

“The length of time you’ve held an Apple ID was used to confirm you are over 18.” All right, all right, Apple. No need to age shame.

People who choose unconventional spacing for phone numbers are Chaotic Evil. I will take no further questions at this time.

I don't know who else needs to hear this but you can create shortcuts on your Mac in the keyboard settings so you never correct 'TEH' again!

It’s not every day you get to write about Earth’s doppelgänger but it is some days. www.canberratimes.com.au/story/917652...

They did it. They really did it.

Radio stations will have to tell listeners if a show’s host is less than human, but some say the disclosure rules don’t go far enough. aapnews.aap.com.au/a/ppgZyCARz

Why Australia’s social media age ban has been both a success and a failure, according to experts. aapnews.aap.com.au/a/jlgmBUWdX

There is a special place in the afterlife for experts who answer journalist calls at random times. Pretty sure.

A lightning storm fried the router and NBN Co can’t visit until tomorrow. Please pray for us in zeros and ones.

If Playlunch does not claim top spot in the Triple J Hottest 100, it will confirm that 2026 is broken. No pressure.

Imagine you were about to appear at a writers' festival to talk about your first book... then the whole thing fell apart. I wanted to find debut authors who almost talked at Adelaide Writers' Week. These are 21 folks I've identified so far but *please* let me know who I've missed or mixed up.

Has anyone compiled a list of debut authors who planned to appear at Adelaide Writers' Week? Because I would not hesitate to use that as a shopping list.

Made it seven days into 2026 before misspelling intelligence. Please clap.

If you returned to work today *and* remembered your password from 2025, you deserve this: 🏆 (If not, please go easy on IT. They're prolly having a busy one.)

More electric utes, sports cars and hatchbacks that break price records high and low are coming this year… but so are rule changes (I wrote this!). www.theguardian.com/environment/...

I don't mean to brag but there was a full half hour today in which no email arrived to crush my inbox into the dirt. This kind of thing could make me believe in Christmas after all.

So to summarise the week’s news, Australians under 16 will have the best chance of completing an American holiday.

Two days until the social media age ban in Australia. Consider this your reminder to download your kiddos' data.

Happy almost-full-moon day.

You can never be lonely in Brisbane: always another severe storm warning to keep your phone buzzing.

Perks of early morning radio appearances: Bananas!

Lightning just hit a playground nearby and the thunder clap shook powerlines overhead. Going inside. Might stay there forever. #brisbaneweather

Today I heard the phrase 'Mercury is in Gatorade' and I hereby make it my slogan for this very long, very early Australian summer.

Best quote from the AI Leadership Summit goes to former national cyber security advisor Alastair MacGibbon: “Thank God the smartest people in the world are now making sex chatbots, that’s going to help us all out. I think a bit or regulation wouldn’t go astray.” aapnews.aap.com.au/a/pZkgwTARz

Australia’s next multibillion-dollar export industry could be based on an unexpected mishmash of rubbish: sugarcane, wood chips, algae, used cooking oil, animal by-products and construction and demolition debris. www.smh.com.au/national/was...

The Electric Vehicle Council is calling on the government to set a deadline for the end of petrol and diesel vehicle sales. aapnews.aap.com.au/a/gzEvGHyQY

Had a casual chat with The Queen of Current Affairs today. Something something bucket list. #bwf

What it’s like to live in Brisbane this week.

Turns out writing is debating whether to give your manuscript a prologue for Seven Whole Months and then having the words come to you while brushing your hair in the bathroom on a random Tuesday night.

If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me to help them get their social media account back, Australia would have enough money to fund an ombudsman. aapnews.aap.com.au/a/mvNpMUxVv

So do we give Keith Urban back to the Kiwis to claim now?

I always thought life would be less like Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Anyway, if the rapture comes, DM me.

TIL Imelda Marcos spent $US23,000 on books in a single shopping spree. Not sanctioning corruption but, sheesh, that's an impressive TBR pile.

Saw a man riding a souped-up e-scooter with a full-face motocross helmet up top and pluggers down below. In case you’re wondering why I’m cackling at the traffic lights.

Oh, Optus. Mate.

Happy to announce I found one of two emails I had only a vague recollection of receiving this week. Stay tuned for further exciting updates.

I did not realise, until today, that journalists could be dobbed into the prime minister if someone didn’t like their questions. Huh.

Happy NBN speed boost day to those who celebrate.

I’ve discovered a scary sentence, even scarier than a MyGov message: “Mum, I need a costume for school tomorrow.” Best delivered on Sunday afternoon.

Anyone know how much it will cost to replace an iPad screen? Asking for a friend. A short friend. With butterfingers.

G’day AI: ChatGPT firm is setting up an office in Australia. www.canberratimes.com.au/story/905217...

My favourite malapropism of the day: “antidotal feedback”.

Is it still called earth if it’s on another planet? My job is weird.

Can you die of annoyance? Asking for a friend.

Australian workers are divided over whether to trust the government to regulate AI, with women and older people the most sceptical. aapnews.aap.com.au/a/QYbjasqlP