Green Goblin: why don’t me make this interesting spider-man? The loser sucks and fucks the winner! Spider-Man: you’re on, Gobby

They’re making an elefun for adults but instead of butterflies it shoots out little cocks

Ugh, of course in the hell year that is 2026 4/20 is on a Monday 🙄

I don’t want to belittle things that women are into but my girlfriend was explaining this thing called “breakfast” and I’m sorry but it’s the silliest fucking concept I’ve ever heard in my life

I can’t be the only one who used HeadOn on their shaft

They should make a field of dreams sequel where the good baseball players in heaven play against the evil baseball players from hell (Pete Rose for example)

New viral video challenge where you have to give away on of your most cherished possessions to show that you are willing to make sacrifices

They’re making a reboot of True Stories and it’s going to be directed by the guy from Papa Roach and he also plays a character in it

John Goodman’s character in True Stories is so relatable to me it’s pathetic

Nobody tells you this about becoming a Jedi but when you finally build your own lightsaber you have to pay for the materials, including the kyber crystal! Why did I have to go all the way to Ilum to grab the crystal if I had to fucking pay for it?

“Oh hey, I didn’t know we would be filming this I thought you just wanted me over to smoke weed and shoot the shit and maybe throw on some family guy or something” -me on Bill Maher’s podcast

Easter at the church of Lucas be like: “Please turn your datapads to the Book of Boba Fett”

My six year old: You know, I think watching Scooby Doo has given me an better understanding of class consciousness and how the show misses the mark on having anything interesting to say Me: whatever man

The Hoth rebel is probably my favorite design in Star Wars. If I was a serious Star Wars cosplay guy I’d want to be a badass rebel

Boost this to 145 to UNLOCK the next POST

Holy shit I was watching inside the nba and Shaq out of nowhere talked about how much the general meant to him

We’re the winners of the see the Mario 2 movie with Paul Rudd contest and like 15 minutes before the movie he leaned to us and said “nobody knows this but illumination cast me as Mario in this because they were afraid he’s too controversial but they got cold feet and he dubbed over my lines” omg

Taco Bell does this exact same thing but they’re not pretentious about it

Yeah a Star Fox movie is being made. I’m in the final rounds of auditions for the role of Falco. You’re not going to able to find any information about a “Star Fox movie” because it’s production title is “Untitled Fox in Space movie”

I learned about this second hand and idk how accurate this is, but apparently in some old Star Wars novel there’s a scene where Ki-Adi-Mundi orders a snow cone and tells the person making it not to put flavoring on it

Hearing reports that Santa was spotted flying around the northern hemisphere last night. It’s April so idk what this means but it is eerie regardless

I think George Lucas should be the only person allowed to be a billionaire because he made Star Wars

If I was Bill Watterson I wouldn’t have been so principled; I would’ve told them to release official Calvin peeing on stuff merchandise and rake in the money. Hell I’d probably even release Hobbes variants

I think this is what fascinates me about Star Wars

How did they come up with the idea that Star Wars can be any movie genre

I hate to do this on this day in particular but we’ve discovered that all those facts about Chuck Norris were fabricated

A banana’s meat is considered a delicacy in some cultures

Unfortunately, Mr. Basketball has come down with a severe case of March Madness. The only known cure is for someone to fill out a 100% correct tournament bracket

Could a man with an octopus beard and a woman with snake hair truly ever fall in love

Kool Aid sucks ass but the Kool Aid man seems like a nice guy

I love this freakin guy. Any women out there wanna talk Greedo

Brendan Fraser fighting through wave after wave of Yakuza: “Give me back my rental family you sons of bitches!”

“Come on man, I’ll do anything for a fourth wish” -me to the genie

New king of the hill theory: is the alley purgatory

We never talk about how Paul Giamatti’s dad the commissioner of Major League Baseball

Reading the wookiepedia article for “Hat” it’s surprisingly short

do you consider fucking a girl at her house a tough away game environment and do you think doing it in your house gives you home field advantage

I finally made it to the Wizard of Oz and all he told me was “real G’s move in silence like lasagna” like I don’t already know that

Scott Pilgrim is lucky that his ass hasn’t had to fight me yet

You’re moving like Jean Valjean the way you’re always stealing my bread

Reading about the Harlem Globetrotters

Fucking SpongeBob: “wrong hole…wrong hole…wrong hole…”

SpongeBob doing standup: “you ever hit it from the back and bubbles start coming out? This guy knows what I’m talking about”

The thing you have to remember about Conan the Barbarian is that he’s very panther-like

Frasier is the Kirk and Niles is the Spock

Shrimps are the vegetables of seafood

Getting a second helping is like DLC for food

There should’ve been a PS2 MTV Cribs game where celebrities hire you to build them a dope ass crib

If I ever woke up in Silent Hill I might as well shoot my shot with those nurses I’ve got nothing to lose at this point