Realised this fic confirms my writing speed is 100 words a day and now I'm sad

Yooooooo I finally finished my fic for this! Thought it was gonna be like five tweets but then it spiralled JUST enough to stick on AO3: archiveofourown.org/works/83976801

Very rude that when you write a fic you have to END it. In like, a narratively satisfying way. With a satisfying line that tells the reader it's ending. Fuck.

The Prince of Arkanis, beaten, starved and locked in a tower by his abusive father, is finally rescued by the mysterious knight Kylo Ren.

I commissioned @klodwig.bsky.social to create a gif of Hux poking blob!Kylo from 'With friends like these, who needs enemas?' and MY GOD, the wiggles are ADORABLE! 🖤🖤🖤 Fic link: archiveofourown.org/works/74646331

THE FACE OF REGRET

Even if you take the report at face value, it's claiming there's no evidence of harm OR benefit from prescribing hormones to 16-17 year olds with gender dysphoria, but admitting there IS a risk of harm from NOT offering this treatment. Therefore they're going to stop offering hormone treatment????

General Hux keeps stepping on Kylo's tentacles. At first Kylo thinks it's accidental. Hux, irritating little man that he is, makes a habit of getting too close, sneering or shouting right up in his face. Kylo keeps his tentacles politely hidden under his robes, of course,

Been watching TNG. Need Kylo the Q to keep showing up and fucking with straight-laced, serious captain Hux of the USS Finalizer. They've had so many 'instances' that Hux just scowls and rolls his eyes at Kylo whenever he appears.

THE STANCE GAVE ME A VISION

Bing bong, hey what's up you're doing a bad job

😲🥰 a comment!?! 😑😮‍💨 just spam

That night, Hux learned that if you get drunk and play strip-sabacc with the son of Han Solo, you're losing your clothes AND your dignity.

It's giving General Hux and Dedra Meero searching for insurgents on Canto Bight

Holy fuck just beat Time Eater on TURN ONE! 😱 Character: watcher Relics: mutagenic strength, bag of marbles, bag of preparation, violet lotus Cards: deus ex machina+ (3x miracle), wish+ (4 strength), vigilance (calm), eruption+ (wrath), omniscience+ (play ragnarok+ from draw pile twice)

The first time in her reputable career that therapist Phasma has advised a couple to divorce but keep fucking each other.

I asked amp to edit Captain Hux from 'Silver and Gold' (archiveofourown.org/works/65945302) and LOOK AT HIM!!! Facing down his assailants with a sneer! Thank you so much @kyloremus.bsky.social!

I like being busy. I can pretend that's why I never write anything.

Dad has recorded Oppenheimer for festive viewing

Finally made a lil frame of the badges and charms I got in Japan back in April 😅 (forgive me the mononoke village one, it would NOT sit in the right spot...)

Squid Hux will absolutely NOT allow fisherman Kylo to keep that fish without a fight.

Weekend bump! Liquid blob Kylo returns in: With friends like these, who needs enemas? archiveofourown.org/works/74646331 🖤💦

I'd ask if I could work 3 or 4 days instead of 5, then maybe I could write more, and maybe I wouldn't want to cry when something breaks, because I wouldn't have to spend my precious free time getting it fixed.

Happy Thanksgiving from blob Kylo! 🦃 (This fic has absolutely nothing to do with Thanksgiving except Hux gets stuffed, I guess?) With friends like these, who needs enemas? archiveofourown.org/works/74646331 (16K, rated E for Enemas)

Hux, sighing: No, the expression is "get into the Christmas spirit", not "get the Christmas spirit into you"

Forgot to do wordle yesterday. Agonising. 183-day streak gone.

Kylo is, in fact, Hux's only regular customer. Hux is an atrocious driver, but Kylo craves the exhilaration of near-death experiences. Plus, the red-headed driver is cute, has an adorably foul mouth, and has proved to be very discrete about the occasional mid-trip blowjob.

Good evening to Ben and Armie, who have SO MANY good tricks prepared, and are getting annoyed that everyone keeps choosing 'treat' and giving them candy.

Kylo climbs out of the cave at the same moment that Hux climbs out of the wreckage of the Steadfast. Kylo blinks a few times, certain he's imagining Hux standing there, groaning as he brushes himself off, but the bright hair is unmistakeable.

This guy again! Still having a bad time, I see.

AMWT is a luxury spa run by Kylo Amidala and his team of buff alphas with VERY skilled hands. Workaholic omega Hux won a voucher in a raffle, but now that he's here, he has no idea which of the services to choose. Every description seems more lewd than the last!

Don't know what's wrong with me atm. I have THREE fics for Huxloween and I can't make myself finish any of them. I do other stuff, little stuff, 'more urgent' stuff until I don't have a decent chunk of time to work on them, so I accomplish nothing while convincing myself I've still been productive.

Hux is SO convinced that Ben Solo could not possibly be interested in him that he drops all his charm - doesn't smile and bat his eyes, doesn't let him win at cards, doesn't flatter his opinions. It's oddly freeing to act how HE wants to, rather than catering to his benefactor.

TRIANGLE

Well, good news in that Ofcom's designated OSA team were so busy that they had to call me back. Bad news: they just kept saying 'we're leaving it up to providers to decide how and if they need to comply with OSA'. So, they absolutely do not recognise that THAT'S THE PROBLEM!

Kylo has entered the Splash Zone

New fic!!! Black Sand Grey, for the #KyluxShortShorts prompt Eldritch/Beach: archiveofourown.org/works/67424767 @kyluxshortshorts.bsky.social

Beige beige maaaaaaan!

Kylo is mainly there for the free porn - he likes watching Hux handle those strange stubby penises - but he has been known to eat the odd man who mistreated Hux or tried to get out of paying.

Asked and answered

I'm not sure if I'm more worried about AO3 complying with the dumbass age verification law, or NOT complying and just geoblocking the entire UK.

Nightreign #kylux (request)

*motorsport announcer voice* SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!

Kylo is so excited for his first scare. He's in position, all his appendages neatly tucked in, waiting for the child above him to drift off. He can't quite tell, though - the kid is unnaturally quiet, his breathing shallow and controlled, instead of slow and snuffly. Maybe he's already asleep?

If Hux hadn't saved the escort service as 'subway' in his phone because he was so paranoid about someone noticing, this whole debacle could have been avoided. He'd have some inoffensive sandwiches for the FO company picnic, instead of 'Kylo Ren' in his mesh croptop and tiny shorts.

THE DUALITY OF MAN

MERMAY IS NOT OVER! 🧜‍♀️ I STILL HAVE TIME! Please enjoy 'Silver & Gold', part 5 of An Octopus Story in Eight Parts, featuring Imperial Navy Captain Hux and tentacled sea-witch Ben: archiveofourown.org/works/65945302

Thought Kylo might use the Force to help heal Hux, but then realised he'd have to use all his power just to keep the man in bed so he can rest.