Pup Kugel
@pupkugel.bsky.social
📤 340
📥 99
📝 49
I am dog. Bjork Bjork Seattle
Hot guy: takes off his shirt Me: Chudai
1 day ago
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No one ever talks about gay bathhouse survivor bias where hot guys enter, find a hookup quickly because they’re hot, and leave.This causes unhot men to take up the majority of bathhouse hours even if most entering men are hot.
2 days ago
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I think about how Katy Perry killed that nun at least once a week
16 days ago
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Three bean ché is one of my favorite desserts which confuses some people that I just want three kinds of beans over ice as a treat. As if a vanilla mocha isn’t just three bean water.
23 days ago
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No one talks about the most difficult part of trying to lift someone small and fuck them which is staying hard while your blood is pumping to your biceps. Hydraulic boners are honestly a flawed system
about 2 months ago
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Catfishing is lame until you view it as the modern equivalent of being a Siren
2 months ago
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Going to an Indian restaurant and asking for a ‘chai tea’ just to feel something
3 months ago
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About 1 in every 8192 people’s very first starter Pokemon was a shiny.
4 months ago
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Sonic the hedgehog’s personality being based on Bill Clinton is one of the only times I’ve legitimately felt the need to fact check Wikipedia
6 months ago
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Bark no homo
6 months ago
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When you rip your jeans they get more holes, but when you rip fishnets they get less holes
6 months ago
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Can I give a dog body dysmorphia by putting them in VR as a jacked furry?
6 months ago
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You know how gay people often end up dating people that look like them? Well if you want to find yours a fast easy way is going on your barber’s instagram and looking through their followers and flirting with them.
7 months ago
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Crazy how Tentacles can fit into every fantasy genre.
8 months ago
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Instead of hearing protection I’ve starting opening a settings menu in my head and turning down the master volume slider as a placebo
8 months ago
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If I put activated charcoal into holy water will it become normal water?
9 months ago
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I could be your next skincare routine
9 months ago
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Waking up as a giant insect nowadays just doesn’t hit like it used to back in 1915. “oh no I hope I am not neglected by society in my new grotesque bo-.” Yeah shut up and get in the fake taxi.
9 months ago
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They really need to invent more deadly sins, I tried them all already
11 months ago
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I ate the Reaper from Dave’s hot after Steamworks before realizing I couldn’t drink milk without it interfering with my Doxypep. Do I drink the milk? Do I choose burning when I poo or do I choose burning when I pee?
11 months ago
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How do I tip a circumcised guy at the strip club? Like where do I tuck the dollar bills
12 months ago
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god you’re so mentally ill *starts fondling your balls*
12 months ago
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Hemorrhoids are like the clitoris of the bussy if the clitoris got Botox
about 1 year ago
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I’m going to dethrone coffee mate as America’s #1 creamer
about 1 year ago
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Gonna start one of those dine-in movies where they serve you the food in the movie as it comes on screen, but it’s porn and you get to lick the actors.
about 1 year ago
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Call me the US Patriot Act the way your Bush has got me putting on a show at TSA
over 1 year ago
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Getting caged is like the opposite of getting fixed.
over 1 year ago
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“A Bear?” Me: puts on my baseball cap, cumming instantly “Kugel the Bear!”
over 1 year ago
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I found a new lighting hack. Body dysmorphia cancelled
over 1 year ago
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Call me Moses the way I’m fixated on your hot bush
over 1 year ago
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Damn daddy are you Italy in the 1940s 😏 because you have no concept of boundaries
over 1 year ago
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Considering changing career paths to pipette manufacturing so I can make good tips
over 1 year ago
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Apparently “you’d be really hot if you lost 30 pounds” is NOT the right thing to say while findomming a British dude
over 1 year ago
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Happy pride month. Trynna channel my inner fairy. But not like 🧚♀️🌸✨no I’m talking about these kinda fairies:
almost 2 years ago
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I keep looking stuff up about how to grow more body hair and Instagram has responded by giving me constant hair removal ads. The beckoning of twinkdom taunts me. If I see one more laser hair removal on my for you page I’m going to shave Mark Zuckerberg
almost 2 years ago
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Do I actually like to top or do I just enjoy the cardio
about 2 years ago
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Looking for big booty boys with anterior pelvic tilt 😍 If you’re not giving Velociraptor or Chronic back pain in your early 40s you’re not my mans
about 2 years ago
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I don’t really get why cars are the only things made as hybrids. Like if my phone runs out of battery, just let it run on fossil fuels. I should not need an outlet and a charger if I’m right next to a gas station 😤
about 2 years ago
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The sexual tension between you and someone who just got interrupted but you looked at them and continued listening to what they’re saying
over 2 years ago
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Sometimes when I do too much skincare I look in the mirror and I’m like fuck am I ai generated?
over 2 years ago
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Can you buy flavored lube with food stamps? Asking for a friend
over 2 years ago
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Are you an anti derivative? Because I want you to be in the area under my curves
over 2 years ago
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Why is it kind of hot thinking about when micro plastics pass through my blood brain barrier. 😵💫🥴 Daddy Michelin himbofy me with that tire particulate matter 😩
over 2 years ago
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Gonna start asking people if they’re controller or peripheral instead of dom or sub to be more PC
over 2 years ago
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Monopoly pieces are just a list of fetishes. I will not elaborate.
over 2 years ago
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Hey bb are you roygbiv? Because you light up my life. Also you’re on the spectrum.
over 2 years ago
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you reached the end!!
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