There are an absurd amount of parallels between ēēðēē and drug addiction It makes sense considering anything that produces a psychoactive effect has the potential for addiction, a thing starving does because we’re so singleminded in the pursuit of our goals that we forget the destruction required

random lore, nobody asked: i’ve knocked out five teeth in the past three years, three from seizures/head injuries, two from skating i used to joke “VENEERS IN A FEW YEARS BOY” and I’m glad they were replaced but wow try not to lose any my ppl because they are EXPENSIVE (in the US)

Loving cooking but also hating eating 🫠

It doesn’t matter but I’m curious what my dad would think of me if he were here. He always accepted me and the femininity and just not liking things boys normally do but I lost him at age 9 and from that age on things REALLY start changing so idk what he’d think of what I’ve evolved/devolved into

My boss asked me if I wanted to go to London or Toronto for work next month and I told him I don’t wanna go fuckin anywhere bro, my skin is like vaguely brown so who even knows if I’ll even make it onto the plane 🫠

update: everyone loved it and that made me super happy, cooking is important

I embarrass myself man I need to be better about pushing my problems deeper inside me/suppressing

Well I feel hollow instead of sad now which is good, sorry for being a suicidal drug user everyone

It’s fading a bit all of a sudden but I still cant breathe, it’s hard

high, alone, reeling

All of my students have their tutoring sesh scheduled for tomorrow and so I’m picking out my teacher garb, probably gonna go with a dark green blazer, a plain white knit long sleeved button down, black and white houndstooth trousers, and some white loafers ✨ picking fits is so important to mee

Sped thru and it’s finished, success!! I really do sincerely wish I could cook for all of you, like just make a personal fave or anything at all because I would

I started making the bibimbap too late, I have to be at my sister’s in like two hours and I still have to cook the bulgogi and chop the vegetables/rice noodles and roll it all up wtf is wrong with me 😩

Making some rolled bibimbap and I’m gonna take pictures when I’m done✨

Oldie my friend and I made but posting it because we’re beginning work on his next EP soon 😸

IT CAN’T COME SOON ENOUGH hajaohevfoaush

My chest bones are noticeable to a freakish extent I kno with the way I talk it doesn't sound like I wanna be small, that I’m taking something for granted, it's just that it's not going the way I thought it would. I just look sick, I look the way I did when I was near death :/

My tummy is a-rumble, again 😩

I’m older than nearly all my moots so I’m everyone’s father and I will protect you

Many things spark joy in me but they always end up burning down the house inside my head 🫠

It’s bizarre that I won’t let myself even try to get close to someone/within a million miles of dating them because of all of my problems and yet if I were to fall for someone with all of my exact problems I wouldn’t even care, it wouldn’t phase me, at all Dissonance :/

Small but still ugly Was any of this even worth it

sister’s aggro frog 🐸

Desperate to bleach my hair but have no idea if it would even look good on me, I’m big (stupidly) on risk taking but for some reason this one’s questionable to me

For those I love it could never be outside my way

Being used as an emotional dumping grounds has been the dream 🫠

Gonna use all my saved points at the dispensary tonight and buy an ounce for $30, I’m excited

Lookin thru my vinyl right now and im always surprised by how many there are cuz like 15 yrs of collecting man its so cool n rewarding but my casssettes are my fave 💖💖

i’m glad im peaceful high tnite and not sad high

… holy shiiiit the hydromorphne/xanax is radomly hittingggg oof oof wahhhhh

COME ON

I 💖💖💖 my cats but they’re always trying to make biscuits on my dick which hurts

Wee bit of Xanax with hydromorphone, not taking too much hydro this time because I don’t wanna scratch myself until I bleed from the itchies

Soap dispenser shows up to all my appointments (srry for another selfie)

I’m 111lbs/50.34kg now… idk how to feel about this

My brain MRI was clear of anything serious but my temporal sclerosis is worsening and I’m so scared, I shake when I think about it I don’t know what my future will be like or if I’ll even have one in any meaningful way

I’ve cried more in the past week than I have in a month which is rough because I cry all the time :/ hanging by a thread

At the risk of seeming like his paid professional glazer I am posting this perfect illustration built by @call-me-diablo.bsky.social because it’s so cute and funny and well done

Unloved cannon fodder

Crying about how I’m my family’s failed promise. Maybe it wasn’t my fault, just ending up being exactly that, a lot was stolen from me because of my health issues but I also could’ve done more I’m just glad my sister got it all right, she’s the version of me that never fucked up

Happy Thanksgiving to all my good friends here who are celebrating, I’m thankful for the people in this community for understanding me so thank you 💓

I decided to make some fried chicken tonight which yes is not very healthy but it was delicious and I don’t regret it at all Idk, when I actually do eat, I just want it to be special and delicious no matter the cals, been doing omad for a year now so I make up for it

Tearless - 2021 Less a song and more a presentation. A compilation of voicemails I received throughout 2021. I isolated for nearly a year and a half, just left everyone behind so please know their frustrations were valid. This one will be included with our upcoming zine, PTSD.

Seven tattoos coming up in February (and mayyyybe the tiny face one)

I say this routinely so I’m sorry but thank you all for being so supportive of me. I didn’t expect it. I remember finding rhys’ account and thinking “Oh she seems nice and in a community I may belong in” and then I discovered all of you and I could never regret it, you’re all kinder than you know

Christ that diazepam pen/pregabalin fucked me up, I couldn’t even walk Which was awesome because I just passed out on the couch and escaped my fears by falling asleep and I feel better now. Fear will probably come back because the comas are on my mind tonight but for now I’m okay and I’m thankful