the thing that sucks ab restricting is when i have to eat a little more than usual, not only do i get full but my stomach kinda hurts

intro lol bc i never did one 18 she/her or they/them :3 DNI: ppl who dont think for themselves :3 I don't sh that much. I mostly do it if I'm not in the mood for substances (bc they do similar feelings for me hehe) #edbsky #edsky #shbsky #shsky

every time i buy junk food at work i feel like everyone is judging me for eating garbage

may I interest yall in some thinsp0 doodles?

the reason i logged off for a bit is bc my partner found my razors and i lowk got in big trouble and felt horrible about it and needed to clear my head but it’s ok i don’t have any razors now though i wish that got rid of the urges i have to actually use them

im soooo so mad i did so good yesterday getting away w eating only one meal and then ofc today like the failure i am i had breakfast and then lunch (0 self control) and i know my partner will get me to have dinner too :[[[[[ i should be starving not indulging

i should know not to eat donuts like an idiot bc my teeth sometimes hurt when i eat very sugary sweets so it’s like im torturing my body and my mouth .. why do i even do it?

im back.. 😼

logging off for a bit again, stay safe everyone

i love waking up and getting a bloody nose immediately

my body is jail

i can’t help but feel as though nothing matters to me right now. there’s no point to eating, but there’s no point to starving either. i’ll feel like shit either way, and i don’t feel up to doing anything at all. id like to just lay down and go to sleep i think

Cuz some of y'all tryhards need a reminder

i hope this isn’t tmi but if there’s anything i absolutely hate about my lackluster eating habits, it has got to be how uncomfortable it is to sh*t now

we’re out of hot water, i work in an hour, and my hair is a mess…. today is nefarious

i dont fuck with comparisonsp0 or fatphobia at all for the record. shaming people with the same problems in a different form is nasty asf and youre not better than anyone because of your bmi. be fucking real, we’re all being controlled by food regardless. thats the reason its a damn disorder lmao

new layout, new 📌! ︶︶︶︶🌨️🌨️🌨️︶︶︶︶ ❄️requiem, 24, ♑♋♎ ❄️engaged & in love <3 ❄️seahorse dad of a 1yr old ❄️disordering since 2017 ❄️mpa and edtwt vet ❄️audhd, bipolar, ocd, mixed PDs other than complaining about being fat on the internet, I play guitar + ukulele + banjo. I LOVE talking abt music!!

I might be a lot of things, but nvr a facist and nvr a bootlicker

Hey guys I want to help this lady in my city. ICE tried to disappear her & she fought back. Let's make her day! Like & share please!

I wish I knew what I actually looked like because one day I think I’m attractive and my body looks fine and the next I feel like the ugliest person ever and I look morbidly obese

going out drinking tn and i’ve hardly eaten at all today 😼😼

all of my problems would be solved if i did not exist

i like it when my anger towards other people turns back around on me and i take it out on myself because it’s my fault a situation became frustrating so i need to be the one to be punished for that i think it’s really cool when that happens

i love weighing and getting 126 and 127 and 124 in different parts of the apartment im in !!! \o/ im gonna lose my mind i think

i love it ^_^ when someone gets randomly seriously mad at me ^_^ over such a trivial thing ^^__^^ i am so pissed awf rn gang

i took a bc pic of me the other day and i can’t get over how the lighting is hitting my body 😭 it’s kind of cheating bc i took it at a good angle but damn..

i can’t believe i was at 115-120 and then decided to put on 10-15 pounds within a year. i could’ve still been there! i could still be there

journaling is so fun 🌺✨yay

ate and now my stomach hurts and i still want to eat

i’ve started journaling this year and sometimes i feel like im doing it wrong when its literally as simple as writing my thoughts into a book 😭😭 what is my issue i need to pick a struggle fr

told my partner i ate breakfast that i didn’t eat and now i need to either eat it or throw it away but i don’t want to waste food .. im so idiotcore

weight is going back down again.. phew

i didn’t have money to keep going to therapy & a few weeks ago i got a letter saying that it’d been too long since my last appt and i’ve been dropped from the system (said in official words). i think it’s awful that my first thought was wondering if id get the chance to apologize to the therapist 😭

i almost passed out in the shower the other day, actually was a really terrifying experience lmao

i just wish my hands and feet were the same temperature as the rest of my body

my wonderful partner thinks i need to prioritize food. i agree. i also feel like i need to prioritize starvation and worsening myself too though, so it’s kind of a tough choice :/

looking at my mood tracker app is so sad bc it’s just neutral and then bad or awful with the occasional good T_T it’s so depressing to see honestly

i never want to look into a mirror again

walk of shame to my bio where i have to change my cw to a pound higher than before .. i really have to lock in chat i fear my awesome downward progress has stalled

sorry for being gone two days and then speaking nonsense i swear im normal i swear im well adjusted!!

i had oreos last night because they’re so good and i hate myself, i haven’t weighed myself in nearly a week and im terrified to atp, i can’t succeed at anything really, it’s embarrassing

i hate my stupid fucking pelvis stupid bone i have such a wretched awful body that only gaining weight can fix. i wish i could be skinny and beautiful i wish i wasn’t so abysmally genetically hindered for some awful stupid reason

my body is a goddamn prison and waking up to it every day is the most nauseating experience of it all

gonna log off for a few days i think

worst thing ab getting tipsy is i shove food in my mouth. i am tipsy, i will regret this tomorrow

i hope everyone who is a part of 1c3 d*es

In the end my disordered eating will never end b/c even if i “recovered” I will continue to suffer w/ extreme hunger, eat what little safe foods I have, not be able to afford more so than ⭐️ving again 🤷🏽 so either way theirs no recovery for me. Its either death or maintaining a weight I see fit

how am i a healthy weight, i don't feel healthy. i don't feel good about myself at all