explaining how we use a gravitational slingshot to boost space travel times to aliens and getting laughed out of the pub AGAIN

close! it's cassie.

happy pride month from your favorite bisexual cosmonaut =)

no way! like, every single human would be fascinated by any alien culture.

it'll go better out in space. space gives us humans perspective.

i can imagine raising a peace ambassador.

( he's rewarded with her biggest smile. ) that's good to know.

what's the harm?

are my kids astronauts?

can i ask you a personal question?

you don't stop!

a little desperate.

right. hey, alien cultures, right? i'm sure my earth customs are just as strange to you.

( strained scientist face. ) and no one wrote it down?

when someone doesn't think being a space explorer is a big deal

oh! that's actually very interesting!! i'd love to know *everything* about your religion.

source?

wait i thought *you guys* were the future ones?

YOU CAN'T BLOCK ME I REPRESENT OUR WHOLE PLANET

good enough. so! you're like, religious?

because i'm an accomplished astronaut and ambassador for peace?

because my heart is pure and my intentions are good?

I'M SORRY IF I OFFENDED YOU

nothing is god, the universe just did that.

no rush!! i really appreciate it! i literally just explained that the sun wasn't god.

( cackling, she moves away from her pretty boyfriend to admire the pretty horse. )

between you and me, this is the worst jazz festival of the bunch.

and princesses! every single one.

THEY TIED ME TO A CROSS!!

like a dashing prince.

( getting down already, thanks to valerie. shoots him a sympathetic shrug. ) sorry, babe, you've gotta be quicker than that to save *me*.

yes please! i'm getting a cramp.

I SAID

don't worry my two boyfriends will save me.

oh hey actually i just remembered! you guys are totally right, the sun goes around the earth! guys???

stupid sexy boyfriend(s).

oh look another "surprise" jazz club...

it's never a friendly house with you.

yeah you totally missed the house, it was great.

you just missed it.

oh hang on there's one!

there was a house.

once upon a time, IN SPACE

gimme an egg gimme an egg gimme an egg gimme an egg

looks at u liek this

amir let's make out

INFINITE UNIVERSE INFINITE POSSIBILITIES IT MUST HAVE HAPPENED AT LEAST... AT LEAST AN INFINITE AMOUNT OF TIMES!!!

there is literally never an inappropriate time for jazz.

he's not.