I named my butthole “flirtatious witticism” — checkmate disinterested old fling

Kind of wild that Epstein’s whole thing is just the DENNIS method

Turns out the president is a huge fan of watermelon flavored hubba bubba

MTG can say she opposes political violence but fascism is political violence, there isn’t any other way to practice it

If you see this, post a Comics cover you love.

Jealous

Atlanta is fucking fabulous

Grandma helping me plan my suicide in secret

Me hitting the DMT vape at the botanical garden, tears streaming down my face. A much younger woman, “he’s moved to tears by that rose!”

Welcome to my new service JEEGPT that with the power of AI will insert you into the halls of power by generating Epstein emails starring you!

Pretty sure a real Terry Benedict would have tortured Danny Ocean to death just to burn off some steam

We are really doing the complete 4chan libertarian thing. Like all of it

Even Chinese hackers are being forced to use AI in their work

About to release my new project JEEGpt where you can chat directly with the Epstein docs!

56th n 5th avenue 56th n 5th avenue

I’m fine if we pitch them both into the sun. Let’s go

Can’t wait to find out how Joe Rogan doesn’t really want to hear about this shit anymore

Lol there’s more?

My bsky model has that there are like 20k people that know about this stuff and in 2 days there will be some jokes about it in the outros from a couple national news programs

When this is all over I hope we can get back to the important “peeing standing up is gross and unsanitary” discourse

Me catching the leprechaun: “wait this mfer has gold!?!?”

MAGA folks have been training for this moment their whole church going lives. This might move the needle enough on some other parts of the GOP but child rapist was never disqualifying for most of them

Oh man “Dirty Donald” is all anyone should call him. Please tell the big accounts

When we are at “he definitely raped kids” and the GOP is still supporting him I assume there will be a strongly worded statement from the opposition at least

They are going to have to release the Don Jr. Sarajevo trip deets to draw attention away from his dad’s rampant pedophilia

Look we should abolish the senate but I kinda love my senator (one of them)

Why would someone quote Johnny Cash when talking about a Johnny Cash article? It’s a mystery but a threat is a threat (unless directed at a trans person, poc, Palestinian refugee)

The Mario brothers, you know, Mario Mario and Luigi Mario

It’s a crime that there is no train from Minneapolis to Omaha

Going to start issuing science museum collectible medallions like challenge coins

Appreciate delta emailing me every few hours to let me know that they will not be paying for a hotel next week if I’m stranded in Atlanta

SCOTUS: wait a second, let’s see some people starve for a bit

Interviewed this guy, he told my Indian roommate that he didn’t think we should be letting people “like him” into US graduate schools. Top tier prick

Sandwich crime season

Ancien coded af

So yes Uncle Bill, the government is hiding free energy technology from you — through the fossil fuel subsidies you keep voting for

I can’t get the Absolute Batman annual #1 anywhere, sold out completely! Anyway I have really great Punisher arc that I think would sell like crazy

I bet they get this before SNAP is restored

Silwa mobilizing his top crime fakers

What betting site do I use to bet on barstool sports leaving NY?

Cooking this up with baking soda and smoking it

When you’re good at something so you get a job where you do it everyday but because you’re good at it you get more responsibilities that aren’t it and so you don’t practice it and now you’re bad at it

Hey Twin Cities, can I use this to ride metro transit?

Wait you’re telling me all those candy options I bought that expire tomorrow are worthless?

If you say cyber with no noun I assume you mean cyber-sex

They always tell you to sell the pickaxes but I feel like it’s more of a pitchfork year

This is so fucked, I hate that we live in the era “if you are attacked by a nazi gofundme your medical bills” but yeah, help her out

New constitutional congress, my place, after trick or treating

Is Haz on bsky? Lefties on here aren’t psycho enough

This might satisfy my itch for Paco Castillo v ICE