He was an astonishing weirdo. Everything he said and did became instantly absurd.

Britain is run by people so shallow they're out of their depth in a paddling pool. Help!

How's Dull Twitter going?

Just popping in to Dull Twitter to say Issue 13 of Locust Review is coming through letterboxes right now. Including 3 pieces by my and a pull-out section, also by me. Hooray etc.

Rescuing and restoring historic wetlands would save as much CO2 as the four to six months of global lockdown in 2020. It would also secure much biodiversity and protect nearby conurbations. We need to start reducing pasture and filling in ditches. youtu.be/CtBCj9zGT70?...

I've decided to take my writing more seriously. As such, I have just entered the Brick Lane Bookshop short story competition, which means, in about two months' time, I can put 'award-losing author' in my biography.

Peeps at Locust Review will be shipping out copies of Issue 13 in the next week or so, with stuff By Me in it. In the meantime read this, or else. www.locustreview.com/editorial/lu...

This was a joke four years ago. Now it's real. youtu.be/DwbcspYAX_g?...

If this government *really* wants to make the court system really 'efficient' they shouldn't just get rid of trial by jury, they should get rid of trials. No more trials, just verdicts. Calm. Forensic. Human rights lawyer. Press send.

Some Guy's got a load of opinions you should check out. www.locustreview.com/online/escap...

He's still, notionally, a representative of the labour movement, so this is the closest he can get to posting Pork is Muslamic Kryptonite(tm). What a fucking dullard.

By the time this would be over, there would be no schools, no hospitals, no functioning roads, no railway network, no street lights and shit would come out of the *taps* but also, it wouldn't be over. You would pay more in tax, because *someone's* got to pay for the death camps.

Keir Starmer works for Donald Trump and Benjamin Netanyahu. He doesn't work for you.

"Will that horse come back if I leave the gate open?"

Where is Greta Thunberg? Where is Yvonne Ridley? Where is David Adler? Where is Tadhg Hickey?

It might be easier to ask which plods *aren't* doing secret handshakes. #DomesticGladio.

Brilliant news!

Who's up for a wide ranging campaign against Digital ID cards that captures the majority of public opinion against this insane power grab and then the government just shrugs and says: "We're going to do it anyway. LOL."

Satan wants a timeshare in the Middle East: "It already looks like hell on earth."

For a dangerous communist who must be stopped at all costs, Corbyn is such a Good Boy. The British ruling class doesn't deserve him as an antagonist.

This was basically known *at the time*. Money was laundered in thinktanks for the purpose or destabilising the party of opposition. A functioning democracy would act swiftly and decisively against things like this. We don't live in one of those. Instead this is saved for Retrospective Noticing.

"But at what cost?"

The British commentariat; intelligent, smart people who aren't farting out of their heads for a living.

The old world is dying but the new is struggling to be born. Now is the time when even Ed Davey scores off Elmo.

Both the state and capital are mobilised to ensure your weltanschauung prevails constantly, even when your preferred party is not in office but... you are sad and angry because you get *any friction* from strangers online. What a way to live.

Milk those cocks, Don.

Team Tommeh is going to London tomorrow.

Anyone who wants a Red Bull will have to scan their tongue at the checkout.

The only people the PLP hates more than their party members is anyone likely to vote for them.

Normal Island the Movie: Have you got a licence to do that?

Do not make art in Britain.

All you have to do is *not* entertain a genocidal army, especially while they're doing a genocide. This isn't a high bar to get over. #boycottradiohead www.bdsmovement.net/boycott-radi...

"They're dabbing on us." Matt Christman.

British Journalists: Take the Be Normal Challenge.

If you think about it, the Vexisexual Community *should* have its own flag.

"You know the doctors pronounced me dead last week. I couldn't believe it. They said I was the Most Dead anyone's ever been. Nobody's ever been as dead as me before now."

C:\BritishJournalism Files\anticorbyn\applicationstart brainworms.exe

Fred Durst will open a theme park where dinosaurs are brought to life by advanced cloning techniques, (and this time, pay Dennis Nedry).

Taking all bets! We want: Prose Poems Prose-poems Art Theory Reviews We want: Wagers Swindles Mountebanks Barkers Frontmen Lucky charms Don't leave anything to chance. Send us your best work. www.locustreview.com/editorial/lo...

This is good. Zack is great. He can and should be the MP for Hackney North. The interesting bit is the vote totals. The Green Party has 68,000 members. The insurgent candidate has 20,000 supporters. The official candidates couldn't even muster 4,000 votes and they are *MPs*.

Kieth would be the most endearing, ridiculous character if he wasn't also real. For one thing, why leak this to the press? WHY? Fucking bizarre.

"When I was a Small Boy I too dreamed of being a flag."

It's lovely how the word "Flagshagger" has broken containment. Another win for the Shitpost Left, up there with Kieth and These days...

I'm not sure what it is but I'll know it when it happens.

Imagine having an actual plan.

Imagine having a five-year-plan... Imagine having *any* plan. www.dumptheguardian.com/environment/...

Thiiiiiiiings can never get betterrrrrr!

African nations have imported 15 gigawatts of solar generators in 2025 so far. Installations in Sierra Leone (alone) are equivalent to 61% of 2023 power output. The fossil fuel price crash will come. www.africanews.com/2025/08/28/a...

Jacques Lacan and Emmanuel Kant but Ian Dunt.