If this post gets 100 likes, my wife said I can get anal. Which I'm really happy about coz the house needs a good clean.

It is estimated that in 2,500 years, written English will have no need for vwls.

In 2014, a missing woman on a vacation in Iceland was found when it was discovered that she was in the search party looking for herself.

A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.

Al Capone suffered from OCD, which is why he was into organised crime.

4 out of 3 people don't understand fractions.

The KFC tagline “Finger Lickin’ Good”, when translated into Chinese for their first ever restaurant, became "finger your mother off".

Medical professionals believe those people who don’t know what introspection is, need to take a long, hard look at themselves.

The average London pigeon has 1.6 feet.

You're more likely to be sexually assaulted by a dolphin than eaten by a shark.

Most adults have 32 teeth and some have 4....It's just simple meth.

In the UK, houses that back on to each other have to be at least 21 metres apart because of a 1902 law. This is all about protecting a woman's modesty. This distance was decided by two topless men backing away from each other until they couldn't see each others nipples.

Having books or plants in your Zoom background makes you seem more trustworthy. Having a blurred background does the opposite.

Birth control implies the existence of birth chaos.

A 2015 survey of all age groups in Europe concluded that although Iceland have the kindest adults, German children are kinder.

You can cook a chicken by slapping it 49,000 times.

Cleopatra had a hollow squash she would fill with bees, shake and then use as a vibrator.

If you attempt to rob a bank you won't have to worry about food, bills or rent for the next 10 years regardless of your success.

If a public bathroom door is locked, don't forget to repeatedly try to open it to give the person using it paralysing anxiety.

In the 17th century, rolling your eyes was a sign of lust.

A person who was invisible wouldn’t be able to see anything.

If you grow romaine lettuce in space, it tastes like rocket. #TrueStory

Japanese railways have underpasses for turtles.

A study done in 2007 by the Bayer College of Medicine determined that magnesium, not calcium is the key to healthy bones. Must be Big Calcium that has been encouraging us all this time.

A study concluded alcohol can damage your short term memory, if this is the case, imagine what alcohol can do.

Water is heavier than butane because butane is a lighter fluid.

For the last 70 years, the average price of a small car has remained the same as the cost of 20,000 Mars Bars.

Eating a human body would provide 81,500 calories.

The easiest way to make beer is to pour root beer into a square glass.

In Victorian times bartenders used to be called spirit guides.

A Logophile is someone who has a fetish for logic. They can't stop coming to conclusions.

Marriage is the leading cause of divorce.

Stephen Hawking said that one of his greatest regrets was that he never ran over Margaret Thatcher’s toes.

Due to our brains only really caring about identifying new information, it completely ignores the fact that our intestines are constantly wriggling inside us, otherwise we would feel it all the time.

A recent poll asked what the best thing about living in Switzerland was. No one was too sure but the flag is a big plus.

Socrates literally only wanted one thing and it was fucking discussing.

There is not a single person who is happily married.

A study found that when people were asked by a stranger if they would sleep with them, 75% men said yes and every single woman said no.

There is someone out there who has eaten the most pickled onion crisps in the world and they probably don't even know it.

It only takes 3 days after death for your skin to have enough purchase for your cat to eat you.

When Bob the Builder was first launched in Japan, the human characters had to have extra fingers added so that children didn’t think they were yakuza members.

If you come across a person who believes there are no English words with more syllables than vowels, they might not accept criticism.

You can tell the age of a tree by counting how many years it has been since it was planted.

If you forget the tilde (~) over an N when asking how old someone is in Spanish, you will end up asking them how many anuses they have.

Pronoia is a strange, creeping feeling that everyone’s out to help you.

When Spanish conquistadors landed in the Yucatán peninsula, they asked the natives what their land was called and they responded 'Yucatán'. In 2015, it was discovered that the translation of Yucatán is 'I don't understand what you are saying'.

Pre means before and post means after. To use both together would be preposterous.

The most dangerous type of canoes are volcanoes.

The mask used by Michael Myers in the film Halloween is of Captain Kirk. They also used some clothes from Star trek in that film, Will Patton wore a Nimoy shirt and Eiza Gonzalez Shatner pants.

On Halloween in 1994, a man was arrested for staring into a home for the elderly dressed as the grim reaper.