Aaron Tinsman
@lowstakesexpert.bsky.social
📤 438
📥 293
📝 2082
“Maybe a Han Solo type” Big fan of
@erinjoy.bsky.social
, the Dodgers, iced coffee, and democracy
The rest of the disciples after one of them said “nah but where’s the scars though?”:
add a skeleton here at some point
about 8 hours ago
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Watching the SotU like
3 days ago
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ZERO border crossings. TOTAL VICTORY. So much peace you can’t even believe it. World’s greatest healthcare, everyone says so. One WIN after another. Nobody can stop me, not even SCOTUS. Completely EXONERATED from the Fake News Epstein HOAX. FOUR MORE YEARS!
3 days ago
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Million dollar idea: Mad Libs, but it’s just Trump speeches. Put the blanks wherever it tickles you.
3 days ago
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I can’t explain it but JD looks AI-generated. Like not quite a real person but you can tell that it’s trying hard to get the details right.
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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Honestly? Trump deserves more standing ovations, because I very much enjoy not having to look at JD Vance’s face on the screen whenever he stands up
3 days ago
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What you’re not considering is that every minute FBI Director Kash Patel spends flying to Italy to party with the U.S. men’s hockey team is a minute he’s not spending directing the FBI. You don’t need DOGE when waste is willing to cut itself.
4 days ago
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Ignoring your own appointees when they tell you to stop dating their mom is wild
6 days ago
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Politics would be way more fun if every time a politician says “the American people,” a randomly selected American gets to ask a follow-up question.
7 days ago
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When Paul Rudd helps get the infinity stones away from Thanos:
add a skeleton here at some point
7 days ago
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reposted by
Aaron Tinsman
Matthew Shallenberger
8 days ago
Speak for yourself, Free Press.
add a skeleton here at some point
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I quote this line way more often than you would think
8 days ago
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Prince Andrew ARRESTED. Very sad situation. I barely knew Epstein, hardly at all. Meanwhile I’ve been totally EXONERATED, again and again. All the hoaxes, all the witch hunts, and now the USA will pay me back BIGLY for the lies. Total vindication!
9 days ago
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Going to tell my kids this was Heated Rivalry
add a skeleton here at some point
9 days ago
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“I just want to catch my fish, drive my truck, drink my beer” sounds like a good weekend but a bad halftime show, ya know?
9 days ago
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Today we* mark ourselves with ash. Around the world, families in Gaza, Ukraine, Sudan, Myanmar, the Congo and elsewhere are buried in it. “Am I my brother’s keeper?” was never meant to be rhetorical.
10 days ago
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I almost forgot the most important part: One Like=One Amen
add a skeleton here at some point
10 days ago
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“It’s easier for an idiot to name his kid 69Dogecoin∞Prime than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God” 🙏
10 days ago
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Every Tuesday can be Fat Tuesday if you stop letting calendars limit your potential
10 days ago
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Anyway it’s probably a coincidence that Matt Gaetz, a congressionally alleged pedo, would have been in charge of the Epstein investigation if Trump had gotten his first choice
add a skeleton here at some point
12 days ago
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“More ovaltine, please?” said Matt Gaetz, off in the corner venmoing someone, “I normally prefer pear shaped”
12 days ago
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Ts and Ps for my spine, in what doctors are calling a career-ending sneeze
13 days ago
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Me when I look in a mirror:
add a skeleton here at some point
14 days ago
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reposted by
Aaron Tinsman
weeder
14 days ago
Oregon Trail was a great game even though the graphics were a little buggy
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The Dow Jones Industrial Average is back under 50,000 so today are we allowed to talk about how many politicians and billionaires were hanging out with a known pedophile and why or?
15 days ago
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It can only good happen
16 days ago
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The U.S. House also passed a bill saying to release the Epstein files by a certain date and nothing happened other than Mike Johnson’s son getting a few Covenant Eyes alerts, I assume.
add a skeleton here at some point
16 days ago
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This but “it” is Pam Bondi and “paper jam” is the files that were on her desk
16 days ago
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After nearly two decades of driving, I’m shutting off my speedometer
add a skeleton here at some point
16 days ago
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Arnold Palmer, TOTAL legend, people always said how impressive he was, especially in the locker room, everybody knew it. Now we have woke Olympians disgracing OUR FLAG, lots of complaining, not much winning, not impressive if you know what I mean. I’m bringing CHAMPIONS back. America wins again!
17 days ago
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Me, on a hypothetical this coming Friday morning:
17 days ago
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I don’t have anything negative to say about the halftime show other than Tom Arnold beat him by 30 years
18 days ago
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Bad bunny is also my fursonality
18 days ago
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The FAKE Halftime Show ratings were a TOTAL DISASTER, everybody knows it. Not patriotic, not American. TPUSA was a good START but still not patriotic enough. We’ll do one BIGGER and BETTER than anyone has ever seen. TWO WEEKS. Stay tuned!
18 days ago
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“The man with the ball is responsible for what happens to the ball” -Branch Rickey
19 days ago
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Frodo’s secret nickname for his friend:
add a skeleton here at some point
19 days ago
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It’s cool, I found it
add a skeleton here at some point
19 days ago
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Relax your tight end
19 days ago
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Isn’t there anywhere a straight* caucasian man like myself can go to watch a halftime show that’s nice and safe and white? This woke nonsense of other people both existing and enjoying things is deeply offensive to me.
19 days ago
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I’ll bite, what makes the rabbit substandard?
19 days ago
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I talked to the BEAUTIFUL AMERICAN FARMERS, the BEST farmers anywhere, and they AGREED to LOWER grocery prices. Nobody thought it could be done. They did it for ME, and for our Country. You’re welcome, America. FOOD IS CHEAPER.
21 days ago
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When you forget to wear your glasses and now The People™️ are confused about whether what I assume is your favorite Star Wars character makes you weak or weep:
add a skeleton here at some point
21 days ago
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In true opera style, these Olympic Games will not be over until yo’ momma sings
21 days ago
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“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the concern of our Susan Collins” -MLK, probably
21 days ago
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When you take a quiz to figure out your pornstar name:
add a skeleton here at some point
21 days ago
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new Fantasia sucks
21 days ago
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A racist, a liar, and a pedo-enabler walk into a bar, bartender says “Donald, what can I get ya?” “A slippery nipple” replied the famously sober Donald, not realizing it’s a drink
21 days ago
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I guess what I’m saying is that I’m cool with God’s whole “take out the cast of Home Alone 2” plan, but I have suggestions on the order
21 days ago
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How I imagine you all react when you see I’ve tweeted:
add a skeleton here at some point
21 days ago
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When you realize they’ve completely run out Fast and Furious titles:
add a skeleton here at some point
21 days ago
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