Skibidi toilet the Chinese chicken. Is that anything?

If your take on AI doesn't contain "... so fuck AI" it's not a super great nor relevant take.

JESUS (non-white, speaking not English): Who wants to get raptured??? CHRIZZOS: ummm

On top of the rapture and everything else, Mark Wahlberg is playing Parker now? This stupid world

The people who did the show I Love the 70s should do one called I Hate the Nows.

Yeah but what movie thinks of you as perfect?

Disling? Quisney? Are those anything?

Acquiescence and capitulation to someone who couldn't spell either is extra humiliating

How is there a sequel song to and YouTube user versions of We Didn't Start the Fire but not These Are The Daves I Know?

Is it just me or does stuff seem pretty bad right now?

I see a lot of posts about how a guy was a husband and father that seem insensitive to the point of ignoring the fact that he was a hateful shitbag

Hang on. Noah Wyle beat Adam Scott? And also every single other thing that is happening? Come on.

Takes takes takes!

"Nice love you got here. It'd be a shame if anything happened to it." -Maurice

I've been bloosking since the fall of twitter to little to no engagement and today I posted a screengrab of a thing about AI and it is spreading like goddamn hotcakes. So there's that.

Starting to regret inventing the podcast

"The prodigal son returns!" -fictional characters, exclusively

On the first day of fifth grade, the teacher asked us to let her know if we preferred a nickname as she took attendance. On his turn, a new kid named Sean said "Wolf." It was a misunderstanding. Wasn't his nickname so much as one he'd be cool with. He backed right off it. Too bad.

Every day this shitpiece raises the bar on lowering the bar. In addition to everything actual and real and terrible about the whole situation, "Chicagolypse Now" was right there and doesn't evoke yummy snacks.

Tired: cellar door Wired: Mariska Hargitay

How do you fake someone's non-death

I still think he's dead as hell

When it happens or is announced or whatever and the headlines read "a nation super not in mourning" and "the world high fives"

I didn't join a book club to hang out and drink wine and talk about a book. I joined a book club to fight the fuck out of a book

Guliani too? Oooh man, is someone doing an end of the Godfather on them?

There's only one way to know for sure if he's really dead and that's - what's his zodiac sign?

Dying is kinda the only distraction from the Epstein Files that's working, so...

Oh no what's South Park gonna do for the rest of their season if he dies soon?

Cupcankles. Is that anything?

Wait. Trump didn't die AND RFK Jr didn't die? Rip off!

My older brother's friend at camp said he heard this is exactly how it was gonna happen

I've never wanted to hear whether someone has stopped shitting themselves so bad.

Covfefe or novfefe?

A good TV show would be Tim Olyphant and Billy Bob Thorton saying shucks at each other

Any tips on how to home human-centipede three civets I ordered off the net? I'm trying to make the best coffee ever.

A pop star and a sports man are engaged and I just found out the old fashioned way - social media!

Is your bouche not amused?

Anything other than full throated support for Wes Anderson movies is a vote for Ron Howard

To the best of my knowledge, I've never heard Freebird all the way through. I don't even know if it's one word or two. It only exists as a tired joke reference to me. I wish blsky were far reaching enough to take this brag to every corner of the world. Alas.

Some of my favorite directors are the Coen Brothers and their sister Dot.

Pleased to announce my pitch for a Walking Dead spinoff with no alive people. Walking Deads: Oops All Deads.

Giving this song Piano Man a listen. Maybe they should call it Harmonica Ma-never mind

[writing the constitution] Benjamin Franklin: Write down "no dumb fucks as president" Alexander Hamilton: Stop saying that Benjamin Franklin: I'm tellin' you. You're gonna regret not writing that down

Glengarry youtu.be/LafMgjmBV2k

Monster: stop hiding! Your mimicry won't save you now, boy! Boy: I'm not a boy. I'm a big strong man! Monster: oh! My mistake! The monster flees

Newsom. Do it anyway.

Neat that every sketch gang has one member that's an amazing horror writer/director.

You know what really grinds my gears? McSorely's Anti-Lubrication Powder for Machines! Best anti lube on the market!

I really liked the movie Weapons or, depending on your feed, I also really liked the movie Weapons.

The Burning Sensation is a way better name than The Human Torch.