hey @amtrak.com you guys should add jumps

not falling for tinned fish propaganda

hitting the whip so hard I scare my roommate's cat

fuck it. eleven summoner's tales.

eating an apple is a lot of work

yesterday's overshirt: the undershirt of today

I can't wait to be lorde for halloween

I hope Boz Scaggs is doing well

I'm going into the dungeon I have enchanted my gear

lord forgive me for going beast mode

need to get back on some eat, sleep, game, repeat type shit

got sent on a wild mousse chase

love getting an email or two

sometimes you have to kick your own butt

have you ever had a pepsi

the rehearsal season two 👍👍👍

I have to be the funniest guy in the work group chat

I got so much sand in my hair rn

why I aughta

lorde save me

the only thing I miss about smash bros is king dedede

get in loser, we're bullying cat accounts on instagram that post AI art

I have to stop wasting time & start recording music

life is a movie (passion of the christ)

I need a paycheck so bad rn

doctors won't tell you this but the healthiest breakfast you can eat is 12 jalepeno stuffed olives and 5 mini powdered donuts

impractical jokers punishment where they cover murr in aluminum foil and make him fight battlebots

all my enemies respawned last night and I don't even care

I only know one clairo song I think but if you saw my instagram explore page you'd think I was her biggest fan

I'm getting $8 😸

dare me to do my taxes

I love that this app isn't addictive

AMD on 🔝

grilled cheese weekend starts now

do NOT touch the snow my fingers are tingling

fuck you I love modest mouse

what did I do to deserve this

free sloppy at 7/11

you can't turn a hoe into a houseplant

you can't turn a hoe into a houseboat

starting a new band called dave matthews revenge

Count your days, Punxsutawney Phil

I thought you said gooner new year!

where's the guillotine emoji

the masculine urge to build a lan party pc

life energy is a powerful weapon against evil

cried & cried & cried

I'm about to let big tobacco win

thank you joe biden for preemptively pardoning me for what I'm about to do

so bored I need to record a silly little song