Gril? You also blocked.

Hope is a powerful drug.

Trump’s in the shit. I wouldn’t be entirely surprised if this Kirk shooting is a false flag to get the heat off him and an attempt to get MAGA back onboard.

FUCK YES!!!!

Putin’s going for WW3 isn’t he? He knows his time is up and this is the only card he has left.

"Save our kids"

“Tonight Matthew, I’m gonna be a racist cunt”.

Need a laugh? Here. Watch an elephant drop kick a honey badger.

“Me? Buy a house in Clacton? You must have me confused with someone else, my name is Figel Garage”

Well, I didn’t have Mandelson down as an inclusion in my Panini Epstein edition sicker book.

I see France are going for our ‘most PMs in a term’ record.

VD Chance trips off the tongue better than JD Vance.

*Moscow Times falls out of window*

Lest we baguette.

Let's see if an entitled, grifting millionaire gets the same treatment as the working class deputy prime minister...

Someone’s left a turd in the toilet that stubbornly remains unflushed. I’ve called it Nadine.

Trump’s late for this announcement. Nothing trivial, I hope.

Heh. Glinner’s been banned by the police from posting on Twitter. 🤣

Press conference at 7PM - hopefully confirming he’s quitting.

I never thought I’d say it. But I kinda love congestive heart failure.

*chuckles in spider*

Labour’s comms are fucking dreadful. They’re quietly doing good things, but all we’re seeing in the press is small boats and immigration. Is this a tactic? Throw meat to the racists knowing the msm will lap it up and report while quietly fixing issues?

Y’don’t.

Add chilli sauce to a sweet and sour sauce. Game changer. 🤤

They need to stick new Cap in a 1942 biological beefing machine. He’s a bit shit if they don’t.

I feel ya, North Wales.

My latest game is to jump on a search engine, type in “Reform councillor”, hit ‘News’ and then sit back and enjoy the tsunami of incompetent fuckery.

fReEzE pEaCh!!|

“I felt a great disturbance in the force, as if millions of thick gammons cried out in terror and then were suddenly silenced.”

Good to see Reform’s vetting procedures have been strengthened.

Anyone wanna tell him?

Ok. Was anyone else’s first question about this thing ‘how do they fuck?’.

There’ll always be lettuces too, your point, you swivel-eyed twat?

Hoping Joey Barton is watching the United game after his comments on wimmin taking penalties.

Farage just outed himself as not giving a shit about women. The scrutiny that comes with being an MP is starting to bite.

Thick? Useless? Hate brown people? Slap your wife around? You need: PaintStGeorge’sCrossOnAMiniRoundabout! Feel confident, less doughy and find your redundant genitalia again for those triumphant hatewanks. Look no fuhrer!

In Argentina? Whoddathunkit?

Ryan Reynolds. He’s just fucking perfect.

Ok. Gym people. I’ve got a theory that gym machines lie, like REALLY fucking lie. I struggle with 16kg dumbbell flies, I know that’s a big weight for my relatively small frame, but I’m quite happy with it. Today, I went on the fly machine and easily, I mean EASILY squeezed 60kg. It’s bullshit.

I’m guessing this ain’t legit Andy…

Look what I just found…

Practical flagshagging isn’t cool kids. You just look like a cunt with a bag full of cable ties and butcher’s aprons.

Lucy Connolly will always be a racist, hate-filled cunt that wished harm on others and then shat the bed and pleaded guilty cause she was banged to rights. She is not a political prisoner. She’s also got a face like a welder’s bench.

Those times when a complete arsehole crosses your timeline and you wish you hadn’t parked the big for a long break….

“Using analogy, explain the difference between analogy and simile.” 🤯

Ok 🤪

I’d rather have a shag.

Oooh. New puzzle.

Wanna explain why my bill just doubled then Dwr Cymru?