As a lifelong Chicago Bulls fan here is my prediction for their season (the same prediction I have every season, Pinky): they’re going to lose in the Play-in. #nba #chicagobulls

Breaking: old man crashes stock market because he didn’t get the toy he wanted. More apocalypse tonight at 11.

I think it’s fair to say that my radicalization started at a very early age with Reading Rainbow. Once I learned to read it was over for you bitches.

If your dick is cut, you might be autistic. #RFKisanidiot #FireRFK

Thinking on my perspective of world events as an adult and how it was shaped, I think it’s important to note that while my parents had porn blockers on the internet while I was growing up there was nothing that kept out the jihad.

It’s seems that a prerequisite for being an I.C.E. Agent is that you must be a male that somehow also has penis envy. #fuckICE

If this country was truly “pro-life,” we would have Medicare for All, a Green New Deal, gun reform, universal child care, and a living wage. The right-wing agenda isn’t about “life.” It’s about control.

I hate getting caught in the daydream of a daydream. I sometimes really struggle to find my way back to the original train of thought from the first daydream and, damnit, I was enjoying that!

If you need me I’ll be playing 2K and listening to this on repeat.

When one side is detached from reality, unable or unwilling to see after the needs of its own citizenry, there really is only one option. #governmentshutdown

I find kinda funny, I find it kinda sad, Pete Davidson took money from the guys who killed his dad. #riyadhcomedyfestival

It has to end eventually. This cannot continue just because part of our country likes guns and thinks they could take the 82nd Airborne in a fight.

Just a quick question for all the comedians in #Riyadhcomedyfestival , did the Saudi princes provide you guys with the knee pads or did they just tell you to suck it up and deal with the bruises?

It’s happening! I don’t even believe it! I don’t believe it- lieve it- lieve it!!

So Mike Johnson is definitely in the #epsteinfiles too right. Otherwise why is using every tactic to delay their release. It’s not just the nightly taint licking he gives the orange man. It’s self-interest.

I’ve been hard at work on my query letter for the novel I’ve been writing and editing for two years. I think this is the thing that is going to cause the only bit of sanity I didn’t lose in the writing process to dissipate. I may actually be fully insane before I’m done with this querying process.

AZ Cardinal jerseys look like greasy corner store food wrappers #TNF

It’s actually really anthropological interesting to be able to watch the Fall of Rome from inside if Rome had had Social Media and Nukes. I don’t think the capital can just move east and rebrand itself this time. Partly because east is the ocean but also because…well, how do you rebrand from this?

I remember thinking that Inside was this groundbreaking mesh of music, comedy, and political and social commentary (and it is) but now I’m pretty sure that Bo Burnham was just a herald of the apocalypse sent to read out our list of collective sins before the end really kicked off

I talked one of my best friends into reading The Hunger Games Series and they just called me, very upset over Prim. It’s nice that others can continue to experience the Suzanne Collins created anguish.

It’s too bad that we aren’t still in wandering tribes and it’s so hard these days to “make it” as a storyteller because all I want is to be the person that is turned to when the sun sets and the fire is lit, to make you forget about the dark or to remind you to be afraid of it.

The original Tron and Tron:Legacy are some of my favorite science fiction films ever but I refuse to watch a movie starring Jared Leto again. I don’t get why this predator continues to get roles. But the boycott of Disney must continue, even if it’s only my personal one. Goodbye Star Wars.

So: Fascism is bad The First Amendment is good Genocide is an actual fucking crime And also: It's appalling to be in 2025 where each of these is not, in fact, taken as part of the baseline shared reality anymore

(In Madonna voice) Do you believe in fries after drugs? I can feel something inside me say those taters ain’t been cooked long enough, no [I have put my fries back in the air fryer to further crisp]

I’m sorry that I have to cancel our plans. I spent too long on my little rectangle and slightly larger rectangle and am now filled with hopelessness and despair. Thank you for your patience and understanding as we restructure for the future.

Some ad agency should really hire me and my buddy. Wrote the ad in under a minute. #SNF #MINvATL #Magnum #Penixsoundslike

As much as I try to condition my air it never stays at its goals for long.

If we’re going to apocalypse could we just do it already. This waiting on the edge is actually going to drive me crazy

I miss when the bulk of the lies the government told us were just those of omission.

I think we, as a society, moved on from Hodor’s sacrifice a little too quickly.

I wrote 4300 words today which amounted to 21 pages in my screenplay. I don’t know that I will ever have another writing day like today and I wanted to share it with you bottomless void.

This #pressconference is just announce increased tariffs on the Penguins of Cook Island. They’ve refused to come to the negotiating table on any of it. This can only mean a trade war

I actually don’t think I’ve felt anything since that last sip of fruitopia like two decades ago. I don’t remember what it tasted like, I just what it felt like to drink it.

Gandalf pushes hobbits like he’s bought stock in em.

There’s something so satisfying in seeing that word counter steadily rise higher as my current WIP starts to find legs. Really in love with this whole #writing thing rn. Can’t imagine it will last long before I’m back to being frustrated by something but I’m going to ride this high while it lasts.

If those places didn’t want to blow up then they shouldn’t have been where the bombs were specifically targeted and dropped. It’s not not that hard.

But if Kamala was elected she’d start a war with Iran!

Heartbreaking that this song is just continually relevant. This awful fucking world…

AI can tear the em dash from my cold, dead hands. Never had to fight a technological god before but a whooping is coming.

#TuckerCarlson is still a cuck. Everybody just hates Ted Cruz.

Conversation on my first call at work today. Enjoy. Caller: and is anyone covered under the plan? Me: Your spouse and any dependant children Caller: spouse? like you have to be married? Me: yes. A spouse

And now #ice is detaining political candidates. They are truly Trump’s Gestapo and our elected leaders have condoned this through either inaction or silence, abandoning their constituency to tyranny and terror.

Why does every day have to be on the verge of a literal existential crisis because an old man never felt loved by his father?

I’ve been told I need to stop tilting at windmills like the great classical character… Donkey Ho Tay. I can’t help it if the windmills are crooked though.

This horrendous overreach by the administration is just meant to distract us from what happened last week. So we’ll forget that no one has released the #epsteinfiles We all know he’s in it. We all know who he is. Don’t be distracted by a weak strongman putting his thumb on the scales of media.

Trump's latest shitshow is to detract from inflation and his ruinous tariffs. As Hitler and Stalin knew, in times of trouble, find a bogeyman.