Job

it'll be alright

often times i feel a bit out of place but like, more so than usual

sometimes the silence gets a little too unbearable

I hope i can get a job this quarter

teehee

every inch of me feels excruciatingly uncomfortable and makes me want to tear it off

being me feels sickening

some times I get the urge to break every bone in my body and before i know it the feeling of it trickles down through my whole body and i feel ill again

better off

Extreme discomfort Harmful desires Exasperated feelings

extremely uncomfortable

I physically feel like im falling apart, like each parts of me dissolving and floating away

I feel incredibly out of place and unfit to be around my current position

bleh

i feel so evil when im filled with a desire to attack people when interacting with alice and i dont understand

i feel extremely clingly and annoying to my girls but they say im not but what if theyre just being nice...

not feeling that great! i feel awful but like, not in an emotional way?

Im hyper anxious but oh well

It's hitting me now good god

Jobless now!

I'm tired of breaking my body for this job

Oh oops

*

Beer

I just had, one of the most vivid, like, in brain hallucinations(?) Awful experience, funny as hell though Still awful It wouldn't stop making shapes then shapes into faces then they kept changing and it just exponentially kept growing Managed to make it slow down so it's, back to normal now i guess

I know it's not normal, but I wonder if it's common common enough for people to have figured out the solution

i feel trapped by my own self it's frustrating, knowing what's wrong and yet the body does not listen

I'm in a state of being I don't like being in, and it's going to last quite a while.

i am officially locking in!!!

everyone around is so pretty

I don't remmeber if i posted this from the walk

I have 5 sealed VHS tapes One looks broken though

im a bit better now

just tired

feel sick

i think i've calmed down enough to finally fall asleep

im so exhausted i can't even put it into words

Went on a walk

it's awful

I think I'm going insane

quiet

i want to stop dreaming i want to stop hoping i want to stop wishing i want to stop hurting from when it all comes crashing down i don't want to go through it all for nothing anymore im tired

my role ends at the start of all journeys

I would like to cry forever and yet i know it'd do nothing it would never be enough so much has passed, so much has happened my tears are worth nothing i'm at the end of it all, nothing will change it's too late, it's too early it's been all over since the start

suffocating

It's incredibly difficult to sleep without hugging something

Almost blew my fuse at work im so fucking close to losing it

It's so loud

i don't understand how I've made it this far in life, this horrendous piece of me hasn't stopped ruining things for decades It's getting so exhausting