Me randomly at all times. “Whoopsie Daisy yoo-hoo”

Had the best birthday weekend.

It’s my birthday!!! 🎉🥳🎊

New Lana is out and baby we are so back to born to die era.

42 minute ETA for a 1.2 mile car ride. Hell yeah DC 🤙🏼

Fucker it’s Thursday not Friday

I don’t want to make anyone jealous, but I’m getting Georgian cheese bread (Khachapuri) and soup dumplings later so yeah

We don’t deserve dogs.

Taxes: filed ✅

Boyfriend just sent me the HOTTEST text 🥵🥵🥵🥵

Anyone else in an appalling foul mood or just me??

I mean how stinking cute are these two?? 🥰

We’re still playing video games together and I did not know this is happiness could be!!

Snowed in with my boyfriend playing Mario party, eating bacon and drinking Bloody Marys. Life is great

Oh it’s like slap you in the face frigid outside.

The morons who think this is the “right” side of history are really in for something else

I forgot how good string cheese was???

Omg I’m libbing out Rep Adelita Grijalva is across from me on my flight.

Beyond ready to cuddle my beagle.

I fucking hate how crippling my anxiety is.

Insufferable AND gay.

Not thrilled dad’s going away for a bit

First vacation in almost a year tomorrow! A mini 5 day trip but. Better than nothing right?

I find it rather comical my job expects me to come into the office to work, but I don’t have a computer to use because it broke last week and they haven’t replaced it?

I am really going to need Lana to release this album she has been teasing me with for a year.

New beagle in my neighbor and his name is martini and I love him

Friday night seems SO far away right now…

Lmaoo the local news coverage of the RUSH drama is so peak DC culture I love it

Holllllyyyyy exhausted

Made a comfort meal tonight and hoping this turns my rough start to 2026 around.

Oh my God it’s only 3:30 pm on Monday.

2026 is the year of sitting down to pee at home to force myself to take a lil break every once in a while!!!!

Guys im gonna get fajitas tonight for dinner. Be excited.

Great the 2026 bingo card is already off to a wild and unexpected start.

Going into the New Year with so much unearthed anxiety. Yay!

Reminder that if you’re that person who hates seeing new people in the gym in the new year , they hate you for giving them that off putting energy!! Be better. Xoxo

The jump scare PTSD this just caused me.

Twilight zone of being off between Christmas and new years which means I’m taking an edible at 9am on a Monday.

One thing about @ptklein.com and I , we’re always that plug with the copy pasta chain texts. Happy bday friend! 🫡

Have joined the bandwagon of cunty bitchy pour over coffee game. Thank you and hello everyone

My boyfriends grandma who I haven’t met sent me a thank you card for sending her chocolates for Christmas and someone must be cutting onions this morning because I’m crying

Someone pooooooped themselves at the restaurant and left their poop stained garments in the stall :’(

Making meatballs and sauce. Who’s coming for dinner??

Trying to play retail world of Warcraft after playing classic for a few years and damn I feel geriatric.

ITS CHRISTMAS EVE AND IM FUCKING HOLLY JOLLY MERRY ETC

Doing way too much menu wise for Christmas Eve but that’s what Jesus would’ve wanted right?

No Sunday scaries here I don’t go back to work till Jan 5th 😬😬

DC needs more chain food. I said what I said.

It’s officially CHRISTMAS WEEK and I am giddy!! (I love the holidays and I love gift giving … I think I got my boyfriend some pretty cute shit for our first Christmas together)

Debating an edible and a sushi feast. Yay or nay chat