here’s all the 🍑 i couldn’t shake the last few days bc i was working all weekend 🫠

twist my arm

gloomy thursday

wfh fit check

case study in ‘gloomy monday’

73F in chicago today

someone pls remind me that when you’re sick (and even when you’re not) — it is OKAY TO REST, DO NOTHING, BE A LOAF 😮‍💨 i am so bad at this

*handcuff emoji* (there isn’t one) ((but also good bc acab))

good morning from last night #fcf

i took this on an iPhone but using the front facing camera into an unpolished mirror for that ‘screen grabbed from a 2008 skype call’ effect

saved you a sip 🍷 #humpday

five more minutes

I haven’t watched heated rivalry, but I am immensely grateful for it bc it has spawned a new a subcategory of queers: hot guys in their early 30s who have finally discovered reading for pleasure

slept on my neck funny. recovering from a painful dental procedure. pls be gentle.

b i g s t r e t c h for #humpday

to be clear, i really would rather not this morning

chicago is thawing out ☀️

☀️

🪞

what I’m doing this Monday morning: playing wingspan on my switch pictured here: a switch showing off their wingspan

i’ll have you know i won one single shot (half pour)

tomorrow is for bad bunny and bad bunny only (…and this bunny cake i made)

waiting on the clark street bus

will someone get the coffee started? ☕️

74% of the time when i say i’m wfh #humpday

recently discovered my roommate thought the lyrics to rupaul’s call me mother were ‘body like wow / pussy about to end this TRIAL’ … … … what legal case was the pussy in question overseeing, sir?!

how we feel about the color of that paint swatch?

yip yip 🍰

i’m aware that the mirror needs a wipe down but this is really just meant to be a cute photo of my butt

him: what’re you looking for? me:

oh also i cut all my hair off, grew a mustache, ended an 18 month relationship, and have been spending about 3 to 5 hours a day baking as a means to keep from doomscrolling… so … anyone want to cuddle? … I have a lot of cake in my fridge

hey it’s been a while. here’s likely all the leg i owe you. #humpday

heard y’all liked cakes & bread

kinda missing my shorter hair. might do a big chop soon

rewatching interview with the vampire season one (bc I guess I’m horny for toxic gay yearning)

dressing room pit

the bedroom in my housing for work has … a lot of mirrors

RIP whatever semblance of a tan i had

new work housing. new bathroom. new bathroom selfie.

my housing for work this month has a lovely walk-in closet

feeling 🤧… send healing thoughts & you know, anything you’ve got to *lift* my spirits

cakes with a side of smirk for your #humpday

I know it’s a break from my routine positing of pole & hole BUT LOOK AT THESE CUTE FONDANT CAKE TOPPERS I MADE … topping a parisian love cake (that I also made)

the cake | the cakes

i went out dancing for the first time in two months last night & i regret to inform you all … that it killed me. you’re now looking at a ghost. & their ghost butt. 👻

a hotel photoshoot throwback … that also documents exactly where i forgot to reapply my sunscreen

i am such a sucker for an artful nude

pucker up