It’s a black coffee and Cinnamon Toast Crunch kind of morning. Happy #Saturday!!!

I would love to know what it’s like to sleep normally.

I truly cannot fathom how some people are losing their minds over the Cracker Barrel sign. Just order the Country Boy Breakfast with an extra side of fried apples and stop whining.

Florida makes the dumb go up to 11.

Imagine if they’d had sandwiches. 🥪

It’s a perfect day for a hike through the pines. But first, coffee. ☕️ Happy Sunday, all. #hiking #PineBarrens

I’m in desperate need of a camping trip. Somewhere placid. Rural. Disconnected from all this *gestures wildly*. #camping #nature #calm #unplugged

There’s gotta be a better way to fight injustice.

Tough break, skid marks. That’s what happens when you’re a degenerate piece of shit.

Pinterest knows me so well.

Good evening from New Jersey.

Good evening, all. Enjoy your weekend.

I’m in #training all day. Please send words of encouragement. Or pics of your pets. Or pics of your landscaping. Pics of something you’re proud of. Recipes. Electrical/plumbing tips and tricks. Ghost stories. ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING BEFORE I SUCCUMB TO THE BOREDOM. Please and thank you. 🙏 #work

What four fictional characters are you a combination of?

Poolside with a cigar, a book, a beer and vaguely stormy skies. Happy #Friday evening, all.

I will never understand why ketchup on a hot dog is such an issue. #Summer

I uh… I need a vacation. ASAP.

Sure, hot coffee makes sense today.

This is the least summery of all the summers I can remember.

Weighing my options on just how much I want to do today. Wake up ✅ Shower ✅ Caffeine ✅ Be productive ❌

Me logging on to Bluesky.

I’m not sure how much force it takes to break a receptacle in half, but this was an unusual find. Swapped for something more visually appealing and less likely to burn the house down. #Homeowner #DIY

Painting every wall on the inside of my house might be zen, but actually finishing the job and being able to sit outside and enjoy the weather will be more #zen.

I have absolutely nothing checked out from the #library for the first time in two years and it feels so strange. Like I’m neglecting my local branch.

If anyone is having trouble sleeping, I just put together a training video that’s sure to be a snooze fest.

I had these left over after assembling the patio furniture. I’m sure it’s fine.

Today is a hard day for many, and if Mothers’s Day makes you depressed know that you aren’t alone. Some people never had mother. Some people lost their mother. Some women were never able to be a mother. Some mothers lost their children. Some mothers abused their children.

I’ve been having a rough couple of days (weeks). She got me a Happy Meal. I’m a lucky man.

People actually voted for this dumbass.

So there’s a bit of pollen in the air…

100% me on both sides all of the time.🤷‍♂️

Anyone else a creature of the night who’s stuck working a day job?

It’s a beautiful Friday afternoon and I have every intention of accidentally falling asleep by the pool in about 45 minutes.

If you see this, quote with the energy you bring to BlueSky 🦋

I got overheated working outside, so now it’s time to mess around in the garage. And by mess around, I actually mean I’m just laying in a gravity chair, thinking about future projects. Cheers, and happy #saturday. 🥃

I’ve never needed a #Friday the way I need this one.

Post a film or show that takes place where you’re from originally (not necessarily where you live now). It’s a few towns over, but close enough.

Drop some shields.

Seems appropriate for today.

Look, I’m not complaining, but this week has been 84 years long and temperatures on Saturday should be in the mid 70’s. Just need things to uh… you know… go faster. 🫠

I’m trying to sneak as many movie quotes into my workplace conversations as possible today. Suggestions welcome. 🎬

I just thought to myself, “I can’t believe it’s only Tuesday” and then realized it’s actually Monday. Happy weekday, friends. Go do the stuff. Hooray. 👍

Repost the spectacles, nerd 🤓

It’s Saturday! Post a cartoon TV series you love. 📺

Nothing quite like waking up to a cat laying on your throat. Happy #Caturday! 🐈

Friday night. Two beers, three cats and a bunch of YouTube videos on DIY electrical work. Living the dream. 👍

I reject the notion that tomorrow is Monday. This is bullshit and I’d like a refund.

Hey. I know I’ve got at least two followers who will copy and repost this. 👍 National Suicide Prevention Hotline Call: 0800 689 5652 (UK) 1-800-273-8255 (USA) 1.833.456.4566 (Canada)

I’m in bed. My cat keeps walking over my chest and throat area before settling down on the pillow and completely displacing my head. 10 seconds later, she moves. 2 minutes after that, she does it all over again. This is the life I signed up for. #cats

Another glorious day at Lumon.