Quit reliving the conversation in search of the perfect thing you should have said. Someone who wanted to listen to you would have found your meaning.

Girlhood is figuring out how to have a nice little time with your friends while you try to exist between a pedestal and a microscope Womanhood is the power and freedom you feel once you escape both

We live in the people that remember us This means you will never be gone, and you will never be alone

I love spooky season cause every year we get a new handful of normies who realize dressing up like a weirdo is something they simply can’t limit to one day a year Yessss join usssss become the freaky little alt kid you were always meant to be 🖤🖤

There are people who idly wonder why you never do the things you say you want to do.. and then there are the people who help you do them

Deep down you know you could have been as nice to them as they wanted. But deep down you also know they didn’t deserve that.

All this sci fi that assumes women will get progressively more obsessed with surgery and drugs that make us look young and skinny feels very written-by-a-man We all know that when cosmetic surgery tech really takes off we’re getting hooves and elf ears and prehensile snake tongues and fairy wings

There comes a time in every girl’s life when she realizes that for every stupid nitpicky negging locker room boy there was a woman who thought she was perfect but DIDNT SAY ANYTHING This is a CTA lesbians need to be louder please

If you have to delicately curate the right space for someone to act like they care about you, they don’t

Late stage burnout is when you’re having significant health symptoms that are only explained by stress, but you think you’re not stressed Babe get outta there you are SO STRESSED ACTUALLY There is not enough yoga and running and PTO to regulate your body if your job is just cortisol

Don’t waste your mind on someone who’s resentful that you “disappeared” but never tried to get in touch

The level of toxicity that will come out of a man when you ask him to consider the impact of his actions is truly staggering

The hottest woman you’ve ever seen in real life: “omg I wanna tell this person I like them but what if that’s weird and awkward and they hate me” A man who’s a scant 3 if you’re drunk enough: “HEY GIRL U MARRIED?”

Men will really say the most dipshit bong rip nonsense and then when you’re like “hey I think maybe that’s not true, here’s… supported facts” they’re like “omg why are you attacking me”

*slaps roof* yep I rebuilt this baby so now she runs on just pure feminine rage *gazes somberly into window* she is very, very tired

The moment you start being your unfiltered self is the moment you confuse and alienate 99% of people — and also the moment you get the attention of the 1% who will become your family

Hear me out: a country jukebox musical in which “Jesus Take the Wheel” and “Daddy Let Me Drive” are part of the same conversation

Quit planning on making your kid live the dreams you couldn’t and start getting excited to style yourself when you look like your mom

Nothing will humble you like achieving something really hard that you’re super proud of and then meeting someone who did the exact same thing while going through opiate withdrawals Like oh damn I forgot I had the difficulty set to casual

Can’t date casually and honestly can’t really friend casually either I just have a phone full of ride-or-die bitches I would crawl through hell for and then people I don’t talk to anymore

No time for people who call a stranger ugly You’re projecting very loud sweetie You tell them they’re gorgeous right now or get out of the way so the rest of us can

Can you imagine how upsettingly hot everyone would be if they stopped dressing to avoid bullying from the shittiest straight people It would be too powerful

Listen I think it’s very healthy for us to be shutting down the idea of cringe but also this joke format: 👇 Urgent Care overbilled me — I call it URCHIN Care! State Farm? More like SNAKE Farm! Elon Musk? How bout EELon MUSKRAT! 👆 Please for the love of fuck stop doing this

If the Constitution had been written at 1am in a girls’ bathroom this country would be on the right track

People who smoke: is it a real tradition that someone has to kiss the cigarette to make it a lucky or was that girl hitting on me

Hey y’all my buddy’s in a real bad spot, I need your help. Donations are amazing but every view helps. www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8kVx7Fb/

Men really will say shit like “just so you know I think all this Epstein stuff is disgusting” …as if they’re gonna get special boi brownie points for being brave enough to condemn literal child s^x trafficking? Do you want me to clap?

Hey team are we ready as a culture to discuss the fact that socially expecting & pressuring young women to flirt back with other women “platonically” is actually not creating a “safer space” than the one where we expected them to flirt back with older men Still weird actually

If a parent can’t afford to have the job because of the poor pay, poor benefits and shit schedule, then the job should not exist. If a parent couldn’t have the job, fix the job.

As an art school graduate who deeply values art — truly artists piss me off sometimes “Yeah I spent the last entire year of my life meticulously covering every surface of a house in graphite to make a statement about objects empathy” Cool… a lot of people needed help with a lot of shit bud

If the only experiences you’re having are Experiences™️ that were designed to be sold to you, you’re actually just a blood pack for the economy. Please live an actual life.

Babe I am really proud of you for educating yourself but ffs “I’m taking an intro level class on this right now” is not a credential You are not even done with the class

The righteous outrage of lesbians watching straight women obsess and self destruct over men who offer nothing 🙏💞 Y’all are really out here dragging us to the surface and giving us CPR and it’s not even a ploy to get in our pants it’s just care We don’t deserve you thank you

Your corporate overseers are stupid They’re not logically assessing anything, they’re operating on pure vibes If you want to break their rules, just act like you’re helping them because you love them and their rules so very much, and then break the rules It’s shocking how well this works

Periodic reminder: “Humans are the problem” is not the good climate take you think it is Humans are not the problem Greedy rich white humans are the problem Start listening to the humans that know how to be part of an ecosystem unfccc.int/news/indigen...

Therapist: “have you tried journaling? you should write down what you’re frustrated about it helps a lot of people” Me: nice try officer sounds like a paper trail to me

Internet: This 27 year old woman is dating a 67 year old man!! what’s *her* secret to keeping *him* interested??? Me, feeding my phone to goats: off to the woods I go

Don’t tolerate political art Demand political art

If your version of “gentle parenting” is just never setting boundaries with your kids, you are setting them up for self-isolation You do in fact have to teach your kids to respect other people

When I get super depressy about how cold and selfish society is I remind myself that an altruistic, strongly communal society isn’t a new idea at all Altruistic communities are older, more common, and thriving everywhere They just don’t dominate everything cause.. they’re not built for domination

When I describe community to someone and they say “that sounds like a cult” I first find it funny because they obviously don’t know how cults actually work But then I get really sad for them

I don’t know who needed to hear this or why, but: yes, every single bar and restaurant you’ve ever been to is breaking labor laws. Knowingly, repeatedly, as a matter of routine. Yes that’s illegal. Yes, people know that. Yes, they’ve probably been reported. You are surrounded by corruption.

I am so tired of this genre of man who looks at the most common worst man and says “I’m one notch better than that guy so I’m a catch” Babe you are still 99% boring be a whole person please we are tired

I need shit to stop happening for like just a little bit

I miss when the popular bar conversation was “what’s your zombie apocalypse plan” now it appears to be “how young is too young to date” Stooppppppp why must I overhear y’all’s creepiest thoughts everywhere I go

Hoist the vibes lads they can’t sink our whimsy

Courage isn’t just standing up to corrupt leaders, it’s also standing up to frightened peers who tell you standing up is too dangerous

Happy Pride don’t forget to take a shit in a chik fil a without buying anything

Like ACAB and everything of course but also Beer For My Horses is one of Willie’s best songs

You’re not going to get in trouble for talking to a lawyer about what your job is doing. If you’re afraid you will, your workplace is extremely toxic and you absolutely need to talk to a lawyer about what your job is doing.