One good thing about being well-upholstered in the chest department, and wearing good scaffolding, is that one has a very handy shelf on which to rest one's cake plate.

I endorse this completely.

The bed saga: OH has managed to put on the new pistons. They are also too strong. The company phone line goes straight to a recorded message, as it has for the past week. Emails aren't answered. They're still taking orders, offering big discounts. Recent reviews show that we're not alone.

The Bed Supermarket: WARNING - don't order anything from them. Delivered a faulty bed and have now stopped answering the phone or returning emails. Trust Pilot reviews show that lots of people have placed orders, money taken, nothing delivered over recent weeks. Looks as though it's gone bust.

Musical education: Travis with me in the car, Jethro Tull in the kitchen with their grandfather. Eclectic.

When my 7yo brother was struggling in school, his teacher summoned me to her classroom and submitted both of us - in front of his whole class - to a diatribe about how stupid he was. A recent conversation triggered this memory. Awful for me, but how much more so for him? Trauma stays with us.

Sitting watching tv as I eat my dinner, knitting while I chew each mouthful, dashing in the ad breaks to the kitchen to check on the marmalade I'm making. ADHD brain? Moi? Never!

Late to the party, as we usually are, we watched 'Conclave' last night. Had us both gripped from start to finish. Highly recommended.

This speech is an absolute belter. Thank goodness for grown ups.

We've taken out the gooseberry bushes. I say 'we'. I mean: he did the digging, I did the pointing at where to dig, safely away from the thorns. That's my idea of team work.

Me: I need to get fitter. Daughter: Come & walk with the dogs & me. VERY muddy. I slipped; fell into the brambles. Daughter tried to come to my aid. Took a step, left her boot in the ankle-deep mud... Then the dogs came upon: a belted Galloway cow; a roe deer; a rabbit. In quick succession. Ho hum.

This makes no sense… An MP can wake up one morning, ditch the party you elected them for, & sign up to a completely different manifesto… No thanks If they defect to a different party, we should get a vote Sign the petition & help make that law. petition.parliament.uk/petitions/73...

I have begun to sort out the hideous mess that is our garage. Whenever OH does anything needing nails or screws, he buys some because he can't find any. I've lost count of the number of packets and boxes I've found out there. Batteries, too. Never mind the rest of the chaos. Please send chocolate.

My 37th birthday and I would like to thank you all for your lovely messages and good wishes.

Please join me in wishing a very happy anniversary to my 37th birthday.

Went to the leisure centre to enquire about their aqua aerobics class. It's full. A waiting list of 9 people. No plans to open another. The universe is clearly telling me to lie down and eat cake, isn't it?

Just saw Reform referred to as 'Turquoise Tories'.

I dreamt of pistachio marzipan. Is there such a thing?

@tollytb.bsky.social One for you! (From F/bk)

@messmonstergigi.bsky.social So very, very sorry to hear your news. My warmest thoughts and condolences to you and your family.

A friend, currently in their house in the Magaliesberg in SAfrica, sends me a video of a Mozambican Spitting Cobra which slithered down the stairs to join her as she was working at the dining room table. I shall look at our foxes this evening and thank goodness that our wildlife is less exotic.

Finished watching 'Waiting for the Out', BBC. Excellent. Thought-provoking. One of those quiet, low-key dramas.

How long before the number of Tories in Reform exceeds the number in the Tory party? Can't be far off!

The leeks I made soup with were from the allotment, so lots of stuff to go in the compost bin. Now my brain is imagining slug conversations: "FFS! Flipping alliums! She knows how much we hate alliums!" "I know! How's a slug supposed to eat with all that muck in here?"

Leek and potato soup incoming. Message ends.

I have made marmalade. It's bloody gorgeous. I am a goddess.

Ding dong. "Hello," says the d-i-l of Mrs P from next door (she died a year ago). "Just wondered: did you hear anything last night?" House was broken into, back door (which faces ours) jemmied. Drawers pulled out, muddy footprints everywhere. On the day they had 2 viewings booked. We heard nothing 😱

"If the education system was designed to accommodate the needs of SEND children, all children would benefit." There are so many ways in which this is true. The current system is rigid and seeks to bend children to it, rather than softening around the needs of so many, hence the rise in home ed.

So, our 'Superior Side Lift Divan' base has arrived. The pistons are too strong to allow the base to close, even with the mattress on. "Send us a photo," says the young woman. "They've probably put too strong pistons on." FFS

Funny how a chance remark on a tv programme can trigger a memory. The only time I've ever demanded, "Do you know who I am?" the child replied, "Yes, Mrs Williams." I'm not, and never have been Mrs Williams. Narrowly avoiding laughing, I managed to harangue the child with some dignity.

You little monkey, Miss Hettie. Friends dropped in for a cuppa. He is afraid of cats. Left them talking to OH while I made the tea/coffee. Returned to the sitting room to find madam on the arm of the sofa next to him, miaowing and trying to get on his lap. And repeat and repeat. Naughty girl!

Thank goodness for the sanity of BlueSky. Twitter is a right wing cesspit today. And the extreme left are baying at Starmer too. What we need right now is stability, not infighting.

Got a very loud, very suggestive wolf-whistle at the garden centre. They have an African Grey parrot which roams the shop part. She obviously fancies me.

Years ago I bought a funny, nonsense CD for another song (Cows With Guns: wonderful!). It had this track on it. It's never seemed so appropriate as it does today. www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQvi...

A sad moment at Sloven Gardens. The last of the Christmas cake has been eaten. Cue quiet sobbing.

It's FREEZING out there! The snow that fell overnight hasn't thawed. I've been stuffing the last of the bulbs into pots and my fingers were numb. Glorious sunshine, blue, blue sky. Love this weather.

Who was enraged by the affrontery of the fox which stood on the step to look into the sitting room? Who flung herself with a yowl at the patio door and scared it off? Which silly billy banged her head on the window when she did it? Go Hettie!

The offspring gave us a bottle of Pol Roger champers for our Golden Wedding anniv a couple of months ago. The bottle has finally been opened, a couple of glasses sunk. And so I raise my glass to you all and wish you a slovenly New Year and slovenly blessings for the year ahead.

Bins: He got the day right - yay! He put the wrong bin out - boo! Just can't get the staff these days.

From F/bk. You know it's true.

Since about 25 years ago, within our family group we've given presents in C/mas fabric bags, tied with ribbon or cord. No wrapping paper to be bought or disposed of, no sticky tape needed. OH, rubbish at wrapping loves them. I love the no-waste aspect.

Miss Hettie, Mr Sloven and I would like to wish you all a very happy Christmas. Eat, drink and be merry, but above all - be sloven.

Well! Heard this morning that the catnip mice have raised just over £700 this year, making it a record year. The money all goes to our local RSPCA branch which is run entirely by volunteers who give up huge amounts of their time to support animals in their area.

My husband is playing the (electric) piano in the room beside my bedroom. He's considerately lowered the volume so as not to disturb me (it's against the wall behind my bed head). So all I hear is the noise of the keys being pressed - and his sneezes which can literally be heard from the roadside.

Channel hopping. Stumbled across a programme entitled 'American Monster'. Imagine my surprise - it wasn't about Donald Trump.

Morning, gang. I'm ridiculously amused by the fact that Bishop Moth has been appointed leader of Roman Catholics in England and Wales. Truly a hol[e]y man?

A F/bk post about Andrew Tate losing a boxing match has thousands of comments. Didn't read them all, but a quick scan showed that he's utterly loathed and derided by an awful lot of men. I find this comforting and reassuring.

A lovely lady has just collected her catnip polar bear and paid the £2 in 2 £1 coins and two large chocolate coins. I am ridiculously delighted by this.

A friend tells of 2 women friends, one 80 (widowed), one 70 (single). Homeowners. Both estranged from loathed relatives. Neither has a will - 'haven't got round to it'. It might be a hard thing to contemplate, but please folks: make a will - ensure that whatever you have goes to who you want it to.

"What are you doing, Hettie?" I asked, as she thundered the length of the house. "Found some Big Boots!" she said. "Wonder where they came from!" The spirit of Big Dave lives on.