Why are some tradesfolk so unreliable? Asked on local f/bk page for someone to clean 2 lge rugs in situ. Someone messaged me, quoted, said he'd be here 3pm today. 3.35 now. Nothing to say whether he's still coming. The 2nd one to do this. Utterly Pissed Off, Surrey.

Well! Until today I'd never heard of St Gertrude of Nivelles, patron saint of cats. Next year I shall celebrate her along with St Patrick, whose day she shares. Good woman, St Gerty!

"I'm really hungry this morning!" said Hettie, scoffing a whole sachet of cat food. "Yes, because you chucked up outside the bedroom door at 5.50am to make room for breakfast." Verily, I say unto you: there is nothing like the sound of a cat chucking up to get you out of bed in a leap.

Ah, c'mon Hettie - I know you're adopted and all that, but it's Mothers' Day! Not a card, not a gift, not a snuggle.

Morning gang. Another night of wild dreams, at least one of which involved Boris Johnson so should be classed as a nightmare.

Cherry blossom time at RHS Wisley. Every year since these trees went in I've wanted to see them and every year I've missed them. Until now. And I warned Mr Sloven what would happen if he didn't come. Snowdrops and callicarpa from the bargain section of the garden centre.

Turns out that my leaking car is all bc of a minor bump when I reversed into the skip on our drive last year. Two little indentations but it's apparently skewed everything and the car needs a whole new tailgate.

I suggested to Mr Sloven that we enter this. Inexplicably, he declined. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

I've reached age/stage of decrepitude where my chest can no longer be accurately described with the word 'bust'. It's more 'collapsed and completely beyond salvation'.

Hark! The first ice-cream van of Spring!

Ouma and granddaughter have arrived to inhabit the dolls house. There's a passing similarity to the nearly-6 and me, which is why the children chose them.

BBC2 tonight: Britain's Biggest Warship Hostage We Might Regret This. Someone's 'avin' a larf.

"If love alone could make you better," I told Miss Hettie as we had a snuggle, "you'd be fit as a flea." And who has cleaned her plate this evening and is bouncing around trying to catch a fly, despite no meds today? (Clue: it's not me.)

Went to a talk yesterday about www.orpheus.org.uk, with their work illustrated by 3 of their students. Absolutely uplifting and inspirational. Even the cynical Mr Sloven was impressed.

In possibly the most middle class protest ever, I'm going without avocado rather than buy Israeli ones if they're the only ones on offer. And will continue to do so until their govt stops this illegal warmongering.

This might be controversial, but I think that if you've gone to Dubai to avoid paying UK tax, you should be expected to repay the cost of your repatriation in the current circumstances.

Just finished The Tunnel, the English/French version of The Bridge. Rather expected it to be a pale version of the Scandi series. Not a bit of it. Absolutely brilliant. Also very dark, but leavened by humour in places.

Two whole years at Sloven Gardens. As we moved on 29th Feb I never know whether to mark it on 28 Feb or 1 Mar.

When you find the perfect card for your OH's birthday...

Gosh, Big Dave. You've been gone a whole year. Still miss his gentle, aloof presence. (Though not the galloping in Big Boots in the early mornings.)

"I've given up after-school snacks for Lent," said the 8yo when I offered her a hot cross bun in the playground (CofE school). Hmm. Turns out 'given up' only counts for the journey home. As soon as we got in the door she ate her bun, her sister's leftover bit and asked for something else too.

Significantly - to my mind - the Green MPs have all been elected on the Green platform. Reform, by contrast, has Tory defectors who were not elected on their new party's platform.

A lovely walk round the lovely Polesden Lacey with the lovely @ladyweathergirl.bsky.social . Slightly further than we'd intended and I coped reasonably well (though I did check whether she knows CPR). She, by contrast, wasn't out of breath at all. A jolly way to spend a couple of hours.

I've joined the local NWR. Last month's meeting: dropped my bag and spilled all its contents; managed to get covered in biscuit crumbs. This month: spilt my tea down the front of my dress. They'll be wondering what they've let themselves in for, allowing me to join.

Exhausted. Cleaned the house inside and out, top to bottom, and stripped most of the wallpaper. May I introduce Garden Cottage, named after our last house. 2nd hand bargain (£10!) for the g/children to play with.

Trying to sign in from my phone and it's not accepting the password I have written down. I can't find the 'forgot' button to click. Any advice, folks?

She's done a wee!

Miss Hettie would like to thank you all for your good wishes. She ate well this afternoon, had snuggles with me all evening and has felt well enough to indulge in a couple of bouts of football - her favourite game.

Pedantry alert: If they got married last year and didn't have a honeymoon, having a holiday this year and calling it a honeymoon doesn't make it a honeymoon; it's a holiday.

Poor Miss Hettie has cystitis. The good news for her is that the tablets can be administered in a covering of Lick-e-lix. This has proved very successful! The bad news for us is that she's going to need more dental treatment down the line. Gulp.

A year this coming Friday since we lost Big Dave. And the universe has cruelly sent us a poorly Miss Hettie, and a vet's appointment at the branch where we had to take Dave. Fingers crossed for our little darling girl, please.

The Mini-Vax and I have just removed half a gallon of water from the interior of my car: boot (awash!) and passenger side footwells. What a team. Alas, the (dry) mildew on the passenger seat won't come off and will have to covered with a rug if anyone is unfortunate enough to travel with me.

Why do reporters shout questions at public figures (eg at Princess Anne today) that they are highly unlikely to answer in that forum? Just bloody ridiculous.

Happy birthday, dear Andrew... I know I shouldn't be feeling any glee, but please forgive me on this occasion.

Do any of you have a side-lift single (3ft) ottoman bed? If so, what strength of pistons does it have? 600N are too strong and we're not sure what strength to buy.

My weekly politics digest for Central Bylines. Reposts would be very welcome please... centralbylines.co.uk/politics/a-l...

Morning, gang. The sun is struggling to get up this morning and I know just how it feels.

I lay awake all night. Bloody insomnia. Then the alarm went and I realised that I'd only dreamt that I'd lain awake all night. FFS.

Bought a pair of M&S 'Mom' jeans a couple of months ago. Comfy but very baggy, so I bought another pair the next size down. Can't even do them up - 6.5" difference in the waists! Now I ask myself: which one is wrong? They'll go back next week and I'll take my tape measure to find the right size.

Morning, gang. The sun is beaming down on Sloven Gardens - well, they do say the sun shines on the righteous.

Miss Hettie counts herself lucky to have been adopted by the Sloven household. Rare interactions with the vacuum and a bed where she can snuggle with her Sloven until well into the day.

£40 for a new bra! They must charge by the kilogram.

The bed saga: Automated response to yet another email from me says that the company has ceased trading with immediate effect. They were advertising and taking orders, knowing they were going bust. I feel for the couple of lovely staff I dealt with at the beginning. But the bosses? Bastards.

Good morning, gang. The sofa is demolished. Just the pieces of frame and padding to go to the tip. I'll say this for Multiyork: they knew how to make furniture to last.

Morning, gang. Today's task: demolish the old sofa to take the parts to the tip. Too big for this house, new one coming Weds. And I couldn't even give away the big old one. A little sad as it's still sound, though the cover has perished.

Well, this was made for me! www.facebook.com/reel/3206947...

Know anyone who has dealings with young children? Mia is highly qualified and very experienced and full of good, common sense advice. www.facebook.com/reel/8472517...

Reform-run Kent council accused of fabricating £40m net zero savings

Morning, gang. Cauliflower cheese to make for tomorrow's family lunch at daughter's. Labour of love.

Morning, troops. Brack to bake. Macaroni cheese to make for the little ones' dinner. Curtain hem to sew. A sloven's work is never done.