Are they done moving today?? A TikTok, a tweet, and a patreon post geez

If you see me submitting like five of my own tumblr posts, yes you did. I have no shame they were bangers

Dan and Phil want me to fill their balls but do you know what empties my balls? Democracy. Register to vote, kids

Another phan twitter? We just had one??

@peggletwink69.exploration.team SALTPHOBIA!!! CANCEL HIM!!!

“I Love Lying” Lester telling the truth????

Why did I just see a four headed echidna penis on tumblr?

Too eepy to watch the patreon. Remind me in the morning

croomfs to male podcasters <3

Average Dan and Phil conversation

they should invent gay ppl who post on time

Any bets on how late they’ll be today?

“I, and state your name—“ jfc

Quote of shame

SOMEONE FUCKING DID IT

Red string theory is real!!

No no nut November for Phil that’s good to know

“Our asscheeks didn’t touch through the cloth”

Dan is his croomf 😭😭😭😭😭

It’s here!!

One good thing about taking my cat to the vet and being late into work today is I get to listen to the podcast at home instead of sneakily at the office. The bad thing is there’s NO PODCAST WHERE IS IT

Just took the ugliest photo of me to ever exist 💁‍♀️

This one’s for you bestie @ amazingphil

Susan Decissed

Petition for Phil to take every selfie at this angle

gay test

autistic enough to be bullied in middle school. not autistic enough for any government assistance. just autistic enough to bleet about dan and phil 👍

average day in the phouse:

Lot of dnp themed tiktoks in that. If Phil’s on dnptok then the odds of him seeing my videos is astronomically high. But he’s never liked one. Wtf bro?!

the hottest thing a man can do is give a genuine bet on it performance

Any sign of them yet?

10 years and Dan still won’t let it go that the man had a basic bodily function. We love a girlie that can hold a grudge

The music cut out in my car as I was driving so I started looking for a lay-by to pull into to sort it out, finally found one but I could see there was something in it, drove closer to have a look… like 8 cows. Escaped the field and just chilling

He matches his jacket 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Fucking TikTok ui is going to be the death of me. I went to search something and the button is in the top right and at that exact moment someone followed me so a banner popped up covering the search button and they put a follow back on the right side of the banner so I accidentally followed this 1/

Dan bringing his foot to his hand and not reaching down so he doesn’t pass out again 😭😭😭😭

danandphil on tiktok vm.tiktok.com/ZNdwUTXPj/

Just seen a TikTok adverting a women’s firefighter calendar and 😳

People with straight hair’s reactions to how I treat my curly hair is always so funny. Told them I haven’t brushed my hair since Tuesday. I said you can’t really brush curly hair it messes it up so I only brush it when I wash it which is every 4 days. Then they couldn’t believe I wash it that little

Me: it’s really loud in this office Loudest person in the office: really? I think everyone is so quiet

I love scheduled Dan and Phil time. Very relaxing for me to know I’ve got a new video coming tomorrow. It’s a shame Dan and Phil don’t like scheduled Dan and Phil time

I am once again subjecting myself to the horror that is online shopping for trousers. Please I just want black trousers for work this shouldn’t be so hard. Something formal enough for a casual office but comfy enough to sit in all day. And a black that doesn’t wash out after one wear

Is the livestream going to be available on demand?

I was just about to post about wanting a video today and came here to see everyone talking about the patreon newsletter. Loads of stuff tomorrow is still good I’ll take it

Damn it I was going to be all y’alls baby daddies. Who’s making my nest then?

May have slightly fucked up applying for that job. On indeed it said it was in one location but on their website it specifies it’s actually 2 minutes down the road. Not too bad except I said it was a beautiful location thinking it was the swanky building but it’s actually their storage warehouse

My autistic asexual ass:

Hoodie has arrived and it’s simultaneously too big and too small?? It’s super tight on my hips, but massively loose on the chest, and the sleeves are too long but the head hole was a squeeze to get into. It is snuggly tho